He reaches for me, his palm sliding along the side of my face into my hair. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he mumbles.
I turn my face to kiss his wrist softly. My hand touches his healthy leg, gliding up inside the hem of his shorts. His breath hitches, his grip on my head, my hair, tightening. I look into his eyes as I reach higher, as I climb higher with my hand and my body until he can take one of my breasts in his free hand. His eyes half close as he kneads it in his palm. As my lips part and a breath escapes me.
I graze my fingers over the hot length of his dick, making him jolt. Making him moan. I grip him harder, sliding up and down his shaft slowly. His hips buck. His breath catches and releases, curses spilling from his lips, but I know what he wants to say. What he’s keeping locked up tight.
“You can say it,” I whisper, the same way I whispered it to him in the shower. “I know you’re dying to say it.”
He grins and grimaces, his eyes finding mine so full of desire. Of want. So fucking hungry it hurts.
“Eat me.”
I smile as I pull the top of his shorts down, releasing him. He watches me, his breath held. I take him in my hand, slowly lower my head, and lick a line from his base to his tip.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans, his head falling back.
I close my mouth over his head, sucking lightly. Colt’s body trembles under my hands. When I tighten my hold and glide my lips down his length, he groans painfully. I set a slow pace, going easy on him and torturing him at the same time. He moans and curses with every thrust inside my mouth.
“You have to stop,” he warns me tightly. “I can’t hold out, baby, you have to stop.”
He takes hold of my shoulders and pulls me off of him. Then he’s in his nightstand drawer, searching for something. He finds it quickly, the silver square small in his hands. When he has the condom on he reaches for me, taking my hips and guiding me over him. He stops me just as I’m lowering myself down.
Colt’s eyes are locked on mine as his fingers drift along my hip, down to the apex of my thighs. I’m straddling him, open to him when he touches me. Caresses me. Fondles my clit until I fall forward against his chest, my mouth searching for his. He kisses me deeply as his fingers strum faster and faster, and I can’t take it. I drop myself onto him, taking him in to the hilt, crying out against his lips.
His fingers don’t stop. He doesn’t hesitate as I rise and fall slowly, gently, trying not to hurt him while my body begs me to go faster. Colt takes over, thrusting his hips up to meet me. I worry he’ll hurt his leg but his grunts aren’t from pain. They’re from a divine pleasure that’s pouring into me, into my blood, and I can feel myself pulling together too tightly. I’m on the brink of falling apart.
“Go on,” he urges me.
I bite my lip hard. “I’m waiting for you.”
“Don’t wait for me. I’ll follow you.” He kisses me breathlessly. “I’ll follow you anywhere.”
Two more thrusts of his hips and I’m there. I’m gone. I’m falling in the dark and he’s holding me and pushing me, sending me to the edge of pain where pleasure blurs and goes gray around the edges. I feel it when he follows me. When he finishes and we begin. When he loves me and I love him, and this whole surreal, impossible sea rises up around us, spinning and swirling in a mad, laughing, rushing dance that makes me feel whole and happy.
Colt holds my face in his hands, his forehead pressed hot and sweat soaked against mine. “Lilly,” he breathes.
When he says my name I feel solid. Less like a ghost and more like a girl. Like I’m alive.
Like I’m in love for the first time.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
COLT
December 21st
Culver City, CA
Lilly is nervous. She’s jostling her leg, bouncing her foot up and down. She does that when she’s agitated. When she’s torn. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t know what it is that’s bothering her, but I’m not going to ask her about it either. I’ve done that several times today. She said she wants to do this, so we’re doing it.
I’m not nearly as nervous as she is, but it’s because my whole heart isn’t on the line. Only half of it. The half I gave her the day I told her I love her.
Lilly stands to lose the most out of everyone. She always does during these visits. She was with her family yesterday and she said everything went great. She watched the Kodiaks’ game with her dad and he was engaged. He was listening and remembering. They watched as we beat the Chargers sixteen to fifteen, and when she told him I was coming over with her today he was excited. He’s a fan, sure, but he loves his daughter, and when she told him how serious things were between us, he was thrilled. Not because of me, but because of her. Because he wants her to be happy and I make that happen. I hope I always will.
“It’s this one here,” she tells me quietly, almost like she doesn’t want me to hear her. “The one with the stucco.”