“Of course, why would you even ask that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just tired and emotional, I guess. It’s been a long day.”
“Well, then, let’s get you out of here soon. You should probably be off of your feet anyway.”
After the sun fully set, I decided it was time to make our exit. I’d caught Chloe yawning twice, and it didn’t look like she was going to make it much longer either. She was sitting at a kiddie-sized table with another little girl molding something out of hot pink Play-Doh. I pulled a tiny chair out for Soraya with a wink, and we both sat.
“What are you building?”
“A snowman.”
“A pink snowman?”
She stopped kneading the clay and looked at me like I had just said something ridiculous. “It’s a girl snowman.”
“Did you enjoy your party, Chloe?” Soraya asked.
“I did. But it’s not over. My birthday lasts for the entire weekend.”
Soraya chuckled. “It does, does it?”
Chloe nodded fast. “Tomorrow morning, when we wake up, we’re going to have chocolate chip pancakes and strawberry milk.”
“I’m sorry we’re going to miss that. That sounds delicious,” I said.
“Why would you miss it? Do you sleep late?”
“Actually, I don’t. But we’re not staying here tonight, sweetheart.”
“You don’t want to have breakfast with me?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Who’s going to put together the rest of my toys in the morning? Mommy said you would put together my car and my dream house.”
“She did, did she?”
“Pleeeeeeease.”
I looked at Soraya, unsure of how to say no to my daughter. I had limited encounters with children, and the thought of disappointing her when I’d only just met her was not something I was ready to do. Soraya covered my hand with hers and squeezed.
“How about this, Chloe? Graham and I can come back early tomorrow and have breakfast. Then he can put together your presents.”
“Really?”
Soraya gave me a reassuring nod before I turned back to Chloe with a smile. “Really, sweetheart.”
We did a quick round of goodbyes, and then Genevieve walked us to the door. “Chloe is very excited you’re coming back in the morning. It’s too bad you won’t be staying overnight. There’s plenty of room.” She seemed to turn her attention to Soraya. “I know she would love waking up to having her father under the same roof, even though she might not know who you are to her yet.”
“What time is breakfast?”
“Avery is driving out from the city in the morning to join us. She’ll be here by nine. So why don’t we say nine-thirty?”
“That’s fine. We’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’m looking forward to it, Graham.” Genevieve put her hand on my arm and lowered her voice. “Chloe is lucky to have you. I know I made some big mistakes, but I hope for her sake we can move past them. I’d really like for Chloe to know her father…have a real family.”
***
SORAYA WAS UNUSUALLY QUIET during the short ride to Harbor House Bed and Breakfast even after checking in. Once we climbed into bed, I pulled her close and tried to coax her into talking about what was going on inside that beautiful head of hers. “Talk to me. You’re not yourself tonight.” Her head rested on my chest right over my heart, and I stroked her silky hair in the dark.
The list of shit that could be bothering her was endless these days. We were spending the weekend visiting a home that I used to own and a daughter who I just met…while my possibly pregnant girlfriend was slighted at every opportunity by my ex. Why was I even fucking asking what was wrong? It would be simpler to ask what was right. Although that answer was easy for me. She was right. Even with all the chaos swarming around, I didn’t remember a time in my life when anything felt so right to me. We were right.
“I’m just tired.”
“So it has nothing to do with spending time with my fucking bitch of an ex or having newly discovered I have a four-year-old daughter or the possibility you could be pregnant. Am I missing anything?”
She chuckled quietly and then sighed. “You’re missing breakfast with Avery. That ought to be a blast.”
“Ah. Yes. Nothing like a double bitch fest for breakfast.”
Soraya went quiet again after that. I hated to go to sleep without the air clear, but it had been a long day, and she needed her rest. After about ten minutes, her breathing became slow and steady, and I knew she had fallen asleep. Staring into the dark while I held her tight in my arms, I realized we didn’t really need to rehash the day. Sometimes the words that are left unspoken are the ones that most needed to be said.
“I love you, Soraya,” I whispered to my sleeping beauty. “I fucking love you.”
***