“Oh come on, it’s not like we’re magical creatures,” Sam said.
“No, I meant you’re incredible,” Cash said. “Most people spend their twenties and thirties finding themselves, but you know exactly who you are before college. It’s really inspiring.”
Sam had spent so much time focusing on his disadvantages that he never realized there might be an advantage hidden among them.
“Thanks, I guess,” he said. “I’ve never thought of it like that, though. It’s a tough world to find yourself in, but an even tougher one to be yourself in.”
“The world’s never been a great place, but that shouldn’t stop you from being your greatest self,” Cash said. “It’s not going to be easy, but is anything worse than living life as someone else? Look at me. I’ve pissed off every prepubescent science fiction nerd in the world by being myself, but I wouldn’t take it back. You might be scared now, but you’ve got to imagine how good you’ll feel once you cross the finish line. Let that encourage you, not your fears.”
Sam agreed and tried to put on a brave face, but it was the first time he’d ever felt like someone was actually listening, instead of diagnosing. A couple more tears spilled down his face and Cash wiped them with his sleeve. Sam couldn’t believe he was still talking to the same man they had met on Sunday.
“Where did all this insightful knowledge come from?” Sam asked. “Where was this guy while the other Cash was getting us stoned and giving us fake IDs?”
Cash laughed. “A lot of knowledge comes with transitioning, and you aren’t the only one going through that,” he said. “I’m turning into a big old has-been, remember?”
Sam smiled for the first time that night. The actor poured them one final round of whiskey shots before they headed back to the Teepee Inn. Cash held up his Dixie cup to toast him.
“To transitioning,” Cash said.
“To transitioning,” Sam repeated.
Chapter Seventeen
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE
The Downers Grove gang allowed themselves to sleep in on Thursday morning since it was one of the lighter days in their schedule. The extra hours in bed were very much needed after spending the previous night on the concrete of an abandoned theme park. Sam didn’t get to bed until three thirty after his rooftop talk with Cash, so he was especially grateful for the additional rest. He woke up with a slight headache from the whiskey but also with an enormous sense of relief. His problems weren’t over by any means, but getting a chance to talk to someone made his spirits soar higher than they had in years.
At ten o’clock Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo gathered outside the door of teepee number 5 to let Cash know they were headed to the car for their trek to Albuquerque, New Mexico. They could hear him talking on the phone through the door and the actor didn’t sound happy.
“Hi, Carl, this is Cash,” he said. “Yeah, I lost my phone.… I’m calling from Amarillo.… Listen, I just got your message.… Is this something we need to respond to right away or can we wait until I’m back in Los Angeles? I should be back by Monday.”
“We should wait by the car,” Topher told his friends. “It’s really messed up to eavesdrop on him like—”
“A fucking lawsuit?” Cash yelled.
With that, Topher, Joey, Sam, and Mo abandoned all their moralities and leaned closer to the door to hear the actor better. Mo even emptied her Starbucks in the grass and held the cup against the door like a stethoscope.
“That’s completely fucked up!” Cash went on. “We’ve never begun stunt training this early before a shoot.… If they wanted to send a message they could have done it over the phone, not legal documents.… Damien wants it to leak and embarrass me.… Yeah, I know they don’t have all the information but I don’t want them to have it yet.… Because they’ll find a way to use it to their advantage.… Fine, if it’ll prevent a lawsuit from becoming breaking news, send them whatever you have to.… They can do whatever they want, but I don’t want anything announced until after, well, you know…
Cash hung up the phone and emerged from teepee number 5 so fast the others only had a split second to reassemble themselves in a non-eavesdropping position.
“Good morning,” they said in unison.
Cash didn’t respond and didn’t look anyone in the eye.
“Where are we going now?” he asked, disgruntled.
“Albuquerque,” Topher said. “But we’re making stops at the UFO Observation Tower and Dinoworld along the way.”
“Gotcha,” he said. “Well, let’s quit standing around and get to it, then.”