Stranger Than Fanfiction



“Over here, you’ll find the last photo Bundy and Claire Carmichael ever took,” the tour guide said. “The photograph was taken in 1933 at a secret location organized by the Chicago Daily Tribune. The pair had caused a media sensation during their time on the run and agreed to an interview if the Tribune paid them the costly fee of one hundred dollars. The newspaper was later criticized for aiding wanted criminals and their business suffered greatly until the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941.”

The Bundy and Claire Jailhouse Museum in Old Town, Amarillo, Texas, was barely big enough for Cash and the Downers Grove gang to stand comfortably inside. However, at five o’clock on Wednesday afternoon, the small brick building was crammed with them, three large families, and their tour guide.

“Here, we have a wanted poster from 1929, where the reward for capturing the dangerous duo was set at a whopping three hundred dollars,” the tour guide said. “Beside it are some examples of how Bundy and Claire have impacted our pop culture. This barrette is one of many pieces they inspired for Marc Jacobs’s 2008 fall collection, Bad Marc. Here’s a photo from the set of the 1965 film Jailbirds, where Jack Nicholson and Ann-Margret famously portrayed the Carmichaels. Next to it is a picture of the 2001 television remake starring Frankie Muniz and Hilary Duff. As you may have noticed, the couple were not as attractive in real life as they’re often depicted.”

“That’s putting it nicely,” Joey whispered to Topher.

“Right?” he whispered back. “I thought they were bulldogs in people clothes.”

The tour guide squeezed through the center of the group to show the items on the other wall.

“Moving along,” she said. “This map shows all the locations of Bundy and Claire Carmichael’s crimes throughout the late 1920s and early 1930s. As you can see, it reads like a timeline. They were teenage lovebirds from southern Illinois who eloped in 1926 to avoid the arranged marriages planned by their families. Then in 1927, they met notorious gangster Baby Face Bucky and joined his band of Chicago mobsters. He introduced them to a world of crime, and they became the infamous criminals we know today.”

“Sounds familiar,” Mo whispered, and eyed Cash.

“Eventually the Carmichaels had a falling out with Baby Face Bucky—and by falling out I mean they shot him in the face. In 1929, they fled to Missouri and started their own gang. From 1929 to 1935, the couple committed twenty-seven robberies and thirty-six homicides across the southwestern United States. Law enforcement officials of eight different states joined forces to track down the pair. After a grueling six-month manhunt, they captured the Carmichaels in the desert just a few miles away and brought them back to this jailhouse. But the rambunctious couple’s story is not over yet. Right this way.”

The tour guide stepped into a jail cell the size of a broom closet.

“This is where Bundy and Claire Carmichael awaited trial for two whole months. While incarcerated, they befriended the jailer, Officer Clancy Jones. The officer was fascinated with their criminal history and the manipulative couple took full advantage of him. They filled his head with grandiose stories from their time as outlaws. Slowly but surely, Bundy and Claire convinced Officer Jones to help them escape and join them on the run. On November 3, 1935, the jailer brought them weapons, but as soon as he opened the cell door, they shot poor Clancy dead. Other police officers nearby heard the gunshot and rushed to the jailhouse—and so began the most infamous shootout in American history. The Carmichaels were outnumbered, outarmed, and out of time. With no possible way for them both to get out alive, Bundy made the famous decision to sacrifice himself for his wife. He shielded Claire from the police’s gunfire long enough for her to escape into the Texas desert. They spent weeks looking for Claire Carmichael, but the woman was never seen or heard from again.”

All the women in the room sighed and held a hand over their heart. The tour guide pointed to one of a thousand bullet holes in the brick walls.

“As you look around the jailhouse, you can still see the damage that resulted,” the guide said. “That concludes this afternoon’s tour of the Bundy and Claire Jailhouse Museum. Are there any questions?”

Sam raised his hand.

“Yes?” the tour guide asked.

“I’ve read numerous reports that Bundy and Claire actually seduced Officer Clancy Jones and were caught in a devil’s threesome when the shootout began,” he said. “Can you confirm or deny?”

The tour guide gulped and side-eyed the families in the jailhouse.

“That I can’t,” she said. “The Bundy and Claire Jailhouse Museum only shares history that’s appropriate for Texan families. Are there any other questions?”

A little girl raised her hand. “I’ve got one!”

Chris Colfer's books