They were obviously on different pages about the matter, because Damien was giving Cash the most scornful look to date. Not once in nine years had he ever turned down an opportunity to scold Cash.
“I feel so sorry for you, Cash,” Damien said. “You’re not mature enough to understand how lucky you are. There are millions of people in this world who would kill to be sitting where you are. Like it or not, you’re the lead actor of a network’s highest-rated show—they’d sue you for everything you’ve got before they’d fire you. So you’re going to fulfill your contractual obligations and you’re going to do it on your best behavior. I’d make peace with that if I were you.”
Cash didn’t know if he should be appalled or applaud him—Damien gave his best performances when he was ticked off. However, his allegations couldn’t be further from the truth. Immaturity and ingratitude were languages Damien spoke, not Cash. The truth was, Cash had made peace with reality—he had made more peace than anyone else in the room could possibly understand.
“There’s more than one way to get out of a contract,” Cash said.
A wide grin spread across his face. No matter how much they tried scaring him, Cash knew he wasn’t returning for the next season of the show. There was something he wasn’t telling them—something he would have loved to confess just to prove them all wrong, but he had to be strategic about it. A better time would present itself.
The stagehand reentered the room very awkwardly, like he was walking in on his elderly parents having sex.
“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said. “We told the crowd we were starting at two thirty and it’s now two forty-five. Are we close, or should we tell them we’ve pushed it to three?”
“We’ll put a pin in this conversation until we find time to finish it,” Jim said. “We’ve brought our concerns to Cash, now it’s his job to take them to heart. But let me reiterate, no one is getting fired and no one is leaving the show. We’re here to talk about the upcoming season and nothing else. Now, let’s go out and make the fans happy. None of us would have jobs without them.”
No one objected. Everyone was relieved the conversation was finally over, especially Amy and Tobey. The meeting seemed to have taken a toll on them more than it had on Cash. He almost offered them some of the treats in his pocket, but thought it was probably tacky to offer drugs right after an intervention.
Jim and the executives left the greenroom to watch the panel from the audience. The stagehand escorted Damien, Tobey, Amy, and Cash to the stage and had them wait behind the curtain.
“When they call your name, step through the curtain and take your seat at the table,” the stagehand instructed.
“Oh, is that how it works?” Tobey said, and did an impression of someone with special needs.
“Yeah, like we’ve never done this before,” Amy said, and took another selfie.
Cash chuckled, but not at his costars. He thought it was funny how there was hydrocodone, weed, and alcohol flowing through his veins at a work event but he wasn’t the biggest douchebag onstage.
“Sorry, they make me remind you every year,” the stagehand said, and clicked the button on his headset. “We’re ready back here. Cue the introduction!”
An energetic announcer was blasted over the audio system and filled the theater like the voice of God.
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, extraterrestrials, reptiles and insectoids, people from the past, present, and future, and Wizzers from around the world, welcome to the 2017 ‘Wiz Kids Cast and Creative Panel’!”
The audience went berserk. If the energy emitting from their bodies could be absorbed, it would power all the homes in Central America for a decade.
“Please welcome the former star of Who’s the Parent? and the creator of Wiz Kids, Damien Zimmer!”
The words former star seemed to have sent a sharp pain down Damien’s spine because he twitched uncomfortably. He stepped through the curtain and bowed before the audience. The Wizzers greeted him with warm applause but mostly tried to look past him to see the cast standing backstage.
“You know him as the goofy anthropologist Professor Fitz Luckunckle! Please welcome to the stage the man who puts the ‘buff’ in ‘history buff’ and the star of the upcoming movie Moth-Man, Tobey Ramous!”
Tobey leaped through the curtain like a bull released from its pen. His silhouette darted across the curtain as he ran around the stage doing backflips and flexing his muscles for the crowd. Tobey was so amped up an elephant tranquilizer wouldn’t have calmed him down.
“You know her as the mechanical engineer with the heart of gold, Dr. Jules ‘the Tools’ Peachtree! Please welcome actress turned supermodel and outspoken pescatarian the gorgeous and talented Amy Evans!”