Stranger Than Fanfiction

At first Joey forgot his own alias and didn’t know who the man was talking to. He looked over his shoulder and instantly recognized him from his profile.

“Hi! You must be Brian.”

Joey awkwardly shook Brian’s hand. How else were you supposed to greet a stranger you were about to have sex with? Once he had confirmation, Brian took a seat next to him.

“Thanks for getting a drink with me,” Brian said. “Whenever I meet someone from an app, I always like to see them in public first. You can never be too careful. There are a lot of phonies out there, am I right?”

“Totally,” Joey said with a nervous laugh. “Do you use the app often?”

He regretted the question as soon as it came out of his mouth. He might as well have asked So, how big of a whore are you? Luckily, Brian seemed to like his straightforwardness.

“I try to meet people the old-fashioned way, but that’s hard to do when you’re stuck in a place like Oklahoma City for a couple weeks,” Brian said. “You’re a breath of fresh air, believe me. You actually look even younger than you do on your profile—that’s rare.”

Brian actually looked slightly older than the pictures on his profile, but Joey wasn’t about to tell him that.

“What can I say?” he said with shrug. “I’ve got good genes.”

“I can see that.”

Brian flirtatiously looked him up and down. Joey’s face filled with a warm rush of blood sent straight from his heart. This was going to be a good night.

“So, how was work? You’re an architect, right?”

“Indeed, but it’s not as glamorous as it sounds,” Brian said. “My company’s putting in an office building on Third Street. I was just arguing with the owner about the best location to put a freight elevator. What about you? What brings you to Oklahoma City?”

“I’m on a road trip with some friends,” Joey said. “It’s our last chance to hang out before we split up for college.”

“College? Didn’t you say you were in college?”

Joey was forgetting the lines to his own script. “Oh—I meant before they go off to graduate school,” he lied. “They’re all a little older than me. We met in the Anthropology program at Northwestern.”

“How’s Anthropology treating you?”

“Great,” Joey said. “I sit around staring at artifacts all day—and those are just my professors.”

Brian laughed, flashing his bright smile. Joey had nothing to compare their date to, but so far they seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.

“Can I get you fellas a drink?” the bartender asked.

“I’ll take a Manhattan on the rocks,” Brian said.

Joey had no idea what the hell a Manhattan was, but it sounded refreshing. “I’ll take the same,” he said.

“Can I see your ID?” the bartender asked.

Sheer panic hit Joey’s face like a deer in front of a semitruck. It only lasted a moment though as Joey remembered he still had the fake ID Cash had given him in his pocket. He took it out and handed it to the bartender.

“I’ll be right back with your Manhattans,” he said, and went to the other side of the bar to make them.

“Is that a Missouri driver’s license?” Brian asked.

“Oh… yeah,” Joey said. “That’s where I’m from originally.”

“You look different in your photo,” Brian pointed out. “Can I see it?”

Before Joey could slip it back into his pocket or come up with an excuse as to why he didn’t want to show it to him, Brian had already taken the ID and given it a better look than the bartender had. All Joey’s high hopes for the night suddenly came crashing down.

“Hemi?” Brian asked. “Why are you carrying a fake ID?”

“I—I—I can explain.”

“Did you lie about your age?” Brian said, and then looked around the bar in panic. “Wait—am I about to be arrested? Is Chris Hansen about to jump out somewhere with a camera crew?”

“No—relax, I’m eighteen!” Joey said.

“Eighteen?” Brian said. “Oh my God—I’ve been flirting with an eighteen-year-old! I feel like one of those dirty old predators. I need to go.”

Brian was visibly shaken and stood to leave, but Joey grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

“Wait—please don’t go,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry I lied, but I’m not a deceitful person. I was just desperate to meet someone and didn’t want anyone I know to find my profile, so I exaggerated some things.”

The bartender placed their Manhattans on the counter and then hurried away to avoid whatever uncomfortable exchange was happening between them.

“Can we just have a drink and get back to where we were before you saw my ID? I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to do this. Please?”

The tense expression in Brian’s eyes faded into sympathy. He wasn’t looking down at a guy from an app anymore, but at a memory.

“You’re still in the closet, aren’t you?” he asked.

For the first time in his life, Joey’s superior deflecting skills abandoned him. It was a lot harder to lie to someone when his honesty didn’t come with a major consequence.

“Yeah,” Joey confessed.

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