I waved him off, “Yeah okay, I get the point.”
“And then dear William fell in love,” Trevor said in a high voice. “Really good to see you two found each other again.”
“Yeah.” I smiled and looked back at her. “It’s been… great.”
“Spare me your bullshit.” Andrew surged to his feet. “It’s been great.” He made air quotes. “Which part? The part where you guys just forget all the shit that went down between the three of us? Or how about the part where you ignore the facts about what really happened?”
“The hell?” I charged toward him, “Shut your pathetic mouth before I have security remove you.”
“Shit!” His voice raised. “You still don’t get it do you? You still believe it! Wow, maybe I should be the actor.”
“Back off.” We were chest-to-chest. “Fact.” I leaned in, ready to punch the smug grin from his face. “You gave her drugs, you were a shitty influence, you’re the one who was kicked out of the band because you refused to go to rehab… you’re delirious if you think it happened any other way.”
“Then maybe I am delirious,” he said in a stone cold voice. “Because when Ang came to my room that night, she was crying because of you!”
I stilled.
Trevor frowned while Ty put a hand on my chest to keep me from killing Andrew.
“What?” I hissed.
“She overheard you talking to some chick about kicking me out of the band and putting her in rehab… when the skank came on to you, you shoved her away and said ‘not right now.’”
I frowned. “No—”
“Not. Right. Now.” Andrew sneered. “As if there would be a later, more convenient time to screw her brains out. And when Ang came to your room, sober might I add, where you were at least a half a bottle of champagne in, you slept with her, you screwed her like you would some… groupie!” Andrew was full on yelling now. “So, when she came to my room, it wasn’t to get high, you piece of shit, it was because you hurt her, because she’d been hurting for a long time! And yeah, maybe I hated you — I still do — but it’s because you are the most self-righteous human being I’ve ever met in my entire life. She never destroyed your life, you destroyed hers! And the fact that you’re the one that escaped without any ramifications pisses me the hell off!”
I stumbled back. “You’re wrong. I never touched her. I didn’t—”
“She may not remember,” Andrew said in a low voice. “But a guy doesn’t forget when his best friend loses his mind over his own fame, over his own damn name. You were losing it, you took it too far, and when she needed help the most, I gave it to her.”
“You gave her drugs!” I roared.
“Because it was all I knew!” Andrew yelled right back, “Because I was pissed! Because she was crying! Because she wouldn’t stop! So I calmed her down! And when you walked in, you’d already made your decision. You were done. With both of us. Just like that. Finished. Maybe we were bad for your image, maybe we just weren’t worth it. But the worst part about this sad little tale? Is that when she had a miscarriage, when she came to me and I sent her away, it wasn’t because I didn’t care. It was because I knew exactly whose baby it was.” He paused. “Yours.”
I HEARD THE yelling.
Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.
It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.
I rolled my eyes. “I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.”
“Yup.” Zane said from behind me, “Should have just killed him.”
“Hey, I was ready,” Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.
But something about the scene was.
Wrong.
Rather than looking pissed — Will looked.
Worried.
Andrew looked ready to rip Will’s throat from his body.
And then I heard it.
The words.
“…it’s not that I didn’t care, it’s because I knew exactly whose baby it was… yours”
I stutter-stepped.
Demetri caught my arm.
I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.
I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.
Healing.
“Think about it!” Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. “I had just gotten back to my room, you were out partying, I was pissed because I knew that you guys were done with my bullshit…” Andrew tugged at his hair and paced. “Do you really think I would make it worse by sleeping with her? And then the look on your face, why not make you believe it, why not just say it, drive you away just like you were driving us away. Your. Best. Friends.” Andrew spat on the ground. “You used to think you were too good for all of this… you still do. And then you walk around with this giant chip on your shoulder like the world shit on you, when it was you, who turned your back on your world.” Andrew’s eyes met mine briefly before he looked down, like he was ashamed, like he was sorry, like he didn’t know what else to say.
And then he just walked off.
Leaving Will standing there, chest heaving.
I was torn between wanting to yell at Andrew, pound against his chest, and ask Will to tell him he had the story wrong.
Beg him to say something!
But when Will turned to me, his face was pale, so pale.
And all I kept thinking was.
He really did drive me into someone else’s arms — but not for the reason I thought… All these years, I’d dealt with guilt over cheating.
When I never cheated.
When the last guy I had slept with had been my own boyfriend who claimed to love me, claimed to fight for me, marry me — whose only plan all along.
Had been to send me away.
I shook my head as tears fell.
And just like before.
It happened in slow motion.
The drip of water as it slid down my cheek, met my lips.
Will was there immediately, trying to touch me, explain to me, speak to me, but I wasn’t hearing words, all I heard was the sound of the crashing waves behind me, and the sudden jarring thought that I’d wasted so many years of my life dealing with self-blame.
Loathing.
Hatred.
Not realizing that maybe, just maybe, we really did have equal parts in our own destruction.
Gem was right. You allow others to ruin your life.
I’d allowed Will to both ruin and save me.
And now it was time to choose what happened next.
Not him.
Me.
I took a step back.
And then another.
And then I was running.
After Andrew.
I’D PASSED OUT once in my life.
Dehydration.
So I didn’t realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was.
“He can’t count that high,” Demetri muttered.
“So many candles.” Ty shuddered.
I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. “What happened?”
Nobody spoke.
I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.
That night.
That. Night.
I chose never to think about it.
Hated giving it power.
But in that moment.
I did.
I thought about it — really thought about it.