And Will Sutherland, the Will Sutherland of my dreams, kissed my tears.
Warm lips grazed each cheek before he pulled back, his eyes alight with something I couldn’t quite decipher, something that I knew if I tried to analyze would most likely leave me even more emotional and confused than before, and I’d already wasted too many of those tears on him.
He didn’t deserve to steal anymore.
“Can I ask you something?” His voice was barely above a whisper, those intense eyes never leaving mine.
“Can it be when I’m clothed?”
As if remembering that I was completely naked, his entire countenance changed. His eyes flashed as he made a sound in the back of this throat, all before taking a step away from me and nodding. “Yeah, Ang, it can wait.”
I turned my back to him.
I still felt him.
The door was still closed.
“Is your plan to stay here the whole time?” I tried to keep my voice light. “I already told you, I don’t have anything in here.”
“That’s not why I’m staying.”
“I won’t slip in the shower.”
“And if you do, I guess I’ll be here to catch you.”
I jerked the shower door open and shook my head, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“It wasn’t a promise,” his gaze lowered to my mouth.
I didn’t have time for any more of whatever this was. Already my breathing was heavy, my heart ached, and I was having trouble standing without collapsing again. I stepped into the shower and under the searing spray.
I washed my body.
As fast as humanly possible.
Will wrapped a fluffy terry white towel around me the minute I stepped out, and pulled me into his arms.
“Please don’t be nice to be today if you’re going to be mean to me tomorrow,” I said with a hint of desperation that was impossible to hide with the way my voice shook. “Okay?”
He flinched, lowered his arms, and then nodded. “I’ll see you in the living room.”
The door clicked shut behind him.
I slid to the floor, my back to the door and tried to forget the way his lips felt when they pressed against my cheek, when they did what he’d always promised to do since the first time we kissed.
Make sure my tears never fell far enough for them to drip off my face, he’d always promised to catch them before they could — explaining that they didn’t count as long as he caught them.
I still remembered the very first day they did fall.
Time froze.
“What the hell?” he roared slamming the hotel room door open.
I blinked against the sunlight, my eyes heavy with sleep, heavy with drugs, my body still warm, but not warm enough to make me forget that I wasn’t in his room — that after our fight I’d run into someone else’s arms, someone who’d offered me something to take away the pain, the stress, the rejection.
Andrew.
“What’s up, man?” Andrew made no move to cover himself.
And it was then that I realized that I was just as naked.
Just as guilty.
Even if I couldn’t remember what happened, parts of me were sore enough to prove that I’d done something that I couldn’t take back.
“This isn’t what you think it is!” I yelled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t, it was late.” Every single word that fell from my mouth was a lie.
And all three of us knew it.
Will’s eyes fell to my arms.
Track marks.
Always track marks.
I didn’t even remember loading up my own needle the night before. How could I be so stupid? How?
I wiped my face, my eyes too dry to cry. “Will. Let’s just talk about this!”
“Talk?” He said in a calm voice. “Sure, okay, go ahead.” His arms crossed, his face was steel.
“I—” No words came, I couldn’t talk myself out of it, meanwhile Andrew’s smug grin made me want to puke. “I’m—”
“She chose me, man, plain and simple.” Andrew shrugged.
“Wow, I didn’t even know you were in the running, man.” Will glared. “You know, since we kicked you out of the band last night.”
I gasped.
I’d had no idea.
And suddenly it all became very clear.
I was a pawn.
In Andrew’s jealous game over Will’s continued solo success.
In our relationship.
As the new it couple.
“Don’t worry, man, we only did it once, it’s not like she can’t go running back to you now that you know the truth… she’s all yours.”
That’s when the tears fell.
When time froze.
When my eyes locked with Will’s and he did nothing. No flinch, no breathing, he watched the first one fall.
Catch it!
Catch the tear.
Take a step.
Steal a kiss.
Save me.
Two tears slowly slid down my cheeks, past my nose, over my lips. I had seconds and the tears would slide off my chin.
And Will watched.
Not just two tears collide with the hotel linens.
But so many that he was just a blur in front of me.
And then, he turned his back on me and said, “I hope it was worth it.”
“Will!” I screamed, “Will!”
ANG WAS EVEN more silent than normal when she walked into the living room, her hair was a wet messy knot on the top of her head, and once again I was gifted with the girl I remembered.
No makeup.
An oversized T-shirt.
And a pair of sweats I could have sworn I’d noticed missing from my room two nights ago when I did a load of laundry.
“Those mine?” I pointed at the black Under Armour sweats and waited for her to deny it.
Instead, she shrugged a shoulder and said, “Maybe.”
“So you’re stealing from me now?”
“Borrowing,” she corrected. “If I stole them, that would mean that I left the house with them with the sole purpose of keeping them for myself.” She rubbed her nose and sat cross-legged on the couch, barely hiding a yawn behind the back of her hand. “All right, we have to be on set in a few hours, so spill.”
I suddenly forgot everything I was going to say.
And I had no idea why.
I was better than this.
I was an agent for God’s sake. I knew the words, I was older than her, more mature, I had everything.
And yet, when faced with the girl who had nothing left to lose, I had nothing left to give that would repair what broke between us.
“It’s never one thing, Ang.”
She blinked up at me. “And I’m the one on drugs.”
I smirked. “I missed that smart-ass side of you.”
“Yeah well I was told to be on my best behavior by my agent so I’ve been keeping all asses hidden.” She cringed. “Sort of. Never mind.”
“Right, since everyone saw your ass yesterday.”
“And lucky you, twice today.” She teased.
“Yeah, lucky me.” My tone turned serious.