“Yeah. He changed my radio. You know how nuts I used to get when somebody fiddled with my car.”
“Shit,” I whispered.
“What’s the matter?”
“He had a thing about the car stereo—that the driver picks the tunes. He was really rigid about it.”
“Yeah? Well he was also high as a February heating bill according to your tox screen. Maybe he was just in a bossy mood.”
Ugh. I was so confused. “I just want to know what happened.”
“But you do, baby. That’s what I keep trying to tell you. Even if I can’t remember the way it happened, the outcome stays the same.”
“Does it? What if my brother was behind the wheel? What if you aren’t even responsible for his death?”
He got very quiet. “You’re messing with my head, Sophie.”
I really was. “I’m sorry.”
“Part of drug treatment is to accept all the shit you can’t change. That’s how I get through the day.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to be kind. “I’ll save all my conspiracy theories for the lawyer.”
Jude stroked my palm with his thumb, a serious expression on his face, his eyes cast down at our joined hands. “I can’t plan my life around a miracle.” His eyes lifted to meet mine. “So we need to figure out how to be together, anyway. I don’t want to be the reason your dad slaps you a second time or gets on your case at home.”
“I know we have hurdles. I need to move out of my parents’ house sooner rather than later.”
“All right.” He lifted my hand to kiss my palm. “I’ve heard worse ideas.”
I rubbed the stubble on his chin. He felt so good I wanted to climb over the table and sit in his lap. Somehow I restrained myself. “Everything will become a little clearer next week. The head of my department at work is finally going to let Denny and I know who gets the full-time position.”
“You’ll get it,” Jude said, kissing my palm again. “We can move here to Montpelier.”
“Together?” My heart lifted.
He gave me a sexy wink. “I like the idea. But I’ll need a job, too.”
“This is an excellent little fantasy we’re cooking up here. But I probably won’t get the hospital job. I’ll have to look around. I might end up in Burlington or Waterbury.”
He kissed my knuckles. “We’ll figure it out. First your job, and then someplace for you to live. Is your mom going to be okay?”
I wish I knew. “I used to think I was helping her by living at home, and now I think I’m just making it worse. If she had to put in more effort, she might be happier.”
“My reasons for wanting you to move out are all selfish,” he said, turning my hand over in his and stroking it. Under the table, his knees hugged mine.
The waitress put the check down on the table and Jude paid it. We left the restaurant holding hands, and I felt a hundred pounds lighter than I had only yesterday. My car was parked partway down a poorly shoveled side street, so we picked our way between the tall snow banks. The snow was still white and pretty, so the Winter Wonderland look was in full effect.
“You look adorable in that hat,” Jude said, giving me a flirty smile. “It’s very…kindergarten,” he teased.
“Don’t mock the dinosaur hat.” It was purple with a row of scales down the center in a Mohawk formation. “A patient’s mother made it for me.”
“Aw. I won’t mock you. But I might do this.” He pushed me up against a parked car and kissed me.
“Mmm,” I sighed against his lips, my hands jumping to his chest.
The kiss went hot and dirty immediately. His lips scraped hungrily against mine as our tongues waged a war for dominance. “Jesus,” he muttered between kisses. “We need a whole weekend in bed just to take the edge off.” He wedged his knee between my legs and dipped down for one more scorcher.
We broke apart, panting. “A long weekend,” I demanded. “I hope we get one soon.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes.” He kissed my nose and pulled me into a hug.
That’s when I knew for sure we’d be okay.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sophie
Internal DJ tuned to: “Love Shack” by the B-52s
On the following Wednesday, Jude came back to work at the Community Dinner. My silent hallelujahs were not the holy kind. In celebration, I’d worn very naughty panties and a tiny push-up bra under my clothes and couldn’t wait to show them off.
Jude didn’t have to wear his sling over his cast anymore, so he was able to do prep work even if it was a little slow. I helped him peel potatoes when he fell behind. It was fun to stand there and talk to him, even if Denny studiously avoided looking in my direction the whole time.
“Is it okay with you if I ask May to set up that meeting with the lawyer?” I asked as we finished up the spuds.
“Yeah, baby. Go ahead. I’ll be there.”
“I know you think it’s a little nuts, but…”