He stares at me for an extended time and then closes his eyes.
“I’m scaring myself,” he replies coldly. He comes really close to my face. “You lied to me today. You betrayed me today.” He growls.
I shake my head as my tears fall. “No, Joshua, I would never do that.”
He turns away from me and punches the wall and it crumbles under his fist.
“Stop it,” I cry.
He turns and his wild eyes hold mine as he struggles for control.
“Please understand,” I whisper.
“Understand this. I can’t be around you right now.” He picks up his keys.
“Where are you going?” I whimper.
“Away from you.”
“No. Joshua, don’t go,” I cry. “Where are you going?”
He turns and walks out of the apartment and slams the door. My face scrunches up, tears falling. Oh God. Now I’ve done it.
I fall onto my bed and wail.
“It’s 2:00 a.m. and Bridget and I are on my lounge watching the clock. Joshua hasn’t come home and I don’t know where he is.
“Where the hell is he?” Bridget frowns. “I’ve had enough of his shit.”
“He was so mad, Didge; I’ve never seen him so mad.”
She rolls her eyes. “What were you thinking? Why didn’t you just tell him?”
I shrug sadly. “I don’t know. I knew he would be mad but I didn’t expect this mad.”
“How mad, like on a scale from one to ten?” she asks as she lays back.
“One hundred.”
“Hmm.”
“Where do you reckon he is?” I ask.
“Getting drunk somewhere.”
“Ring Cameron again.” I throw my phone at her.
She picks it up and dials his number, putting it on speaker. Cameron and Adrian have been out looking for him since about ten.
He picks up. “Hey.” The music is loud and thumping through the phone. “I just found him.”
I put my hand on my heart in relief. “Is he ok?” I ask shakily.
“He’s at a strip club.”
“What?” I gasp. Holy fuck, he’s a dead man.
Bridget’s eyes bulge, and she puts her hand over her mouth as she smirks.
“Are you kidding me?” I yell at Cameron through the phone.
“Shut up!” he snaps. “So, you can secretly go visit killers in prison and he can’t go to a fucking strip club? Pull your head in.”
“He’s having a fucking baby!” I yell in an outrage.
“Last time I looked, so were you,” he hits back. God, his loyalty to his brother is so fucking annoying. “I will text you the address, come and get him.” He hangs up.
I hang up the phone with such force I nearly crack the glass screen.
“How fucking dare he?” I growl.
Bridget bites her bottom lip to stifle a smile.
I stand and storm into my bedroom and yank on my clothes. “Hurry up,” I yell.
“I’m in my pyjamas,” she calls.
“Get dressed then,” I tell her.
I pull on my cardigan. “So help me God, if he’s so much looked at one fucking stripper, I am going to kill him with my bare hands.”
“Great,” Bridget replies, deadpan. “Sounds fun.”
“This isn’t funny, Bridget.”
“Who’s laughing?” she replies dryly.
Half an hour later we walk into a small strip club with five guards following us. Max hasn’t commented and I know they are loving the return of the vamped up Jerry Springer. My eyes scan the room. A small stage sits in the middle of a ‘U’ shaped room and a girl is dancing around a pole, writhing around on the floor wearing a g-banger. The waitresses are all topless and the way I’m feeling, all mumsy at the moment with even a cockroach in lingerie seeming sexier than me, I feel my jealousy rise.
“I swear to God, if I see so much as a neck crack he’s going to die a slow, painful and bloody death.”
“What are you going to do when we find him?”
“I don’t know,” I answer as my eyes drift around. “I’m a donkey on the edge. Anything is possible.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of picking up on that.” She frowns.
Our eyes continue to scan, and then over in the corner I catch sight of Cameron talking to a waitress. In front of him, Joshua sits at the end of the bench seat drinking a beer, and Adrian is farther down from him.
Joshua’s eyes are fixed on the show but I know he’s not watching. He’s staring into space, miles away.
I walk over to the table and drop down into the seat next to him. His eyes drift to me, then back ahead in front of him.
“Go home, Natasha.” He sighs.
“No.”
He continues to ignore me.
I put my hand on his forearm and he shrugs it off. “Don’t touch me.”
“I needed to know what happened to me, Joshua, and I knew you wouldn’t let me go.”
His cold eyes hold mine and he tips his head back and drinks his beer.
“Baby, I needed to do this for me.”
“What about what I need?”
I grab his hand on the table. “What do you need?”
“You know damn well what I need.” He spits angrily.
“Joshua,” I whisper.