“And you have yourself to thank for that.” I sneer.
“What did you want her to do? Pine her whole life for a husband who took his pleasure in other beds.” I start to hear my heart beat in my ears. “Is that really all she deserved?”
“You were his best friend.”
“And I saw how he treated her.”
“Get out.”
“He never loved her.”
I can’t even look at him and my eyes focus on one spot on the carpet.
“I love her, Joshua. I have always loved her.”
“That’s why you beat her?”
He pauses. “We…” He tries to articulate his thoughts. “It’s true we have a volatile relationship. You don’t know how many times I begged her to leave him – to come out to the world about our love.”
“Liar.”
“She loves me.”
“If she loved you she would have gone with you.”
“Would she?” He raises his eyebrows in question. “You and I both know there is only one reason she stayed.”
I glare at him. “You blackmailed her for my money.”
He shakes his head. “No. She loaned me the money to start up another business. It was a short term loan.”
“Fuck off. You’re lying. What about Wilson? I don’t see you knocking on his door?”
“Wilson is next on my list,” he tells me dryly. “But it’s you that upsets her. Her beloved Joshua Stanton.” He sneers. “She sacrificed a whole lifetime of happiness to live in a loveless marriage… for you. She didn’t know about Wilson until recently.”
“You have approximately ten seconds to get out of here or you will be leaving on a stretcher.”
“You are more like me than you know.” He smirks sarcastically and I frown. “It feels good to be violent doesn’t it?”
Violence has long been my favourite hobby. Dear, God, I feel the pain of truth seep into my bone marrow.
“Some days, you just feel like you will explode if you don’t get the anger out.” He replies.
I drop my head. “No.” I murmur to myself.
“Like the desire to hurt someone will eat you alive if you don’t get it out.”
“Shut up.”
“How many times do you kick someone’s ass in a week, Joshua?”
“Shut up!” I yell.
“Can you imagine being so in love with a woman that you can’t see straight? To have a child with her and for her to deny it to the world? For the child to be bought up by another man?”
My heart starts to race.
“We were in each others arms every damn day, yet she went home to him every night. It killed me.”
I stare at him.
“Do you blame me for losing control with her. Can you imagine if Natasha was married to someone else? If your child was brought up with another man’s name when you knew that she loved you?”
My baby comes to my mind and my eyes mist over. “Get out,” I whisper.
“Yes, we fought, but I loved her. With every ounce of my being, I loved her.”
I can think of anything but my Natasha and our baby. I can’t even imagine what he is telling me. Would I ever hit Natasha if I lost control? No. I could never.
“Talk to your mother, Joshua. She needs you.”
Pain lances my heart. I need her, too.
I don’t know what to say, I have no words. I look at him through blurry eyes. “Goodbye. It’s been nice never knowing you.”
His tortured eyes hold mine. “I wish I could say the same.”
I turn and leave my office on, what I swear will be my last interaction with that man.
I upload the last of the files and blow out a deep breath. It’s three o’clock and I have just wanted to go home since my earlier visit from James, but I haven’t let myself. He’s not getting to me. My door opens and Natasha’s beautiful face comes into view.
“Hello.” She smiles.
I stand immediately and walk over to her. “I thought I was picking you up at four?”
She wraps her arms around my neck and I push her hair behind her shoulders. “I wanted to check you were alright.” Her lips meet mine.
I smile. “I’m fine.”
“Were you shocked?”
“Yes.”
“Did it go ok?”
I shake my head. “No.” I inhale a breath in her hair. “But I didn’t kill him so that’s something.”
She smiles as her tongue gently rims my lips. “Why do I have two extra guards today?”
My hand instinctively drops to her stomach. “Because there are two of you now.”
She raises her eyebrows as she places her hand over mine. “Are you serious?”
“I am.”
“Joshua, I have nine months to go. Are you going to be overbearing the whole time?”
I smile and kiss her gently. “You have seven months and three weeks left, and you have not even began to see overbearing yet, Presh.”
I lead her over to my desk by the hand, drop into my chair and pull her down onto my lap. I inhale her scent deeply and smile. All in the world seems perfect again. We kiss, gently at first and then deeper and I feel my arousal start to rise. Every time, every damn time I think I can’t feel closer to this beautiful woman, something happens to intensify our intimacy, taking it to another level.
I beam.