We reeled.
Both of us staggered by the sudden power of that irresistible connection that had steadily built.
A breaking point.
A chasm that couldn’t be crossed.
So instead, we fell.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open.
“Hold tight,” he muttered, still kissing me madly, refusing to let me go.
He fumbled in his pocket, freed his keys, and twisted the lock. He kicked one side of the metal doors open, then kicked it closed just as fast, carrying me into the darkened depths of his loft.
Never breaking that kiss.
A hazy light filtered in from the huge bank of windows overlooking city and sky, and somehow I knew he was drawn to it, his footfalls guiding us in that direction, to the beauty that abounded and waited in the heavens.
Waiting for him to reach out and take it.
I shivered when cool glass hit my back.
“Zachary,” I whispered against his lips, still kissing him just as wildly as he was kissing me.
It was as if something inside him had been unhinged. Freed. Something he’d been missing and had somehow found in me.
“Lex…God…Lex.”
His dick pressed eagerly against my jeans. I felt like I was burning up, from the inside out, flames lapping at my spirit, at my soul, while this boy’s possessive touch singed and marked my skin from the outside.
I moaned when he dragged down the collar of my flimsy shirt, yanking down the cup of one side of my bra at the same second. Cool air hit my skin, and my nipple pebbled, tight with anticipation.
Zee edged back and took the flesh into his mouth.
Hot and wet and perfect.
Sensation spun, a live wire that stroked the desire that consumed me, every cell. I writhed against his solid length while he lapped and sucked until his hand was back on my face, his mouth on mine, kissing me like he meant it.
“You are so beautiful. So goddamned beautiful.” The words lived in the middle of our kiss. Meshing and twining with every lap and lick. “Can’t get you out of my mind, Lex. Doesn’t matter how hard I try, I can’t get you out. You’ve gotten under my skin. So deep. So fucking deep.”
My fingers sank into the bristling muscle of his shoulders. “Why would you want to stop thinking of me? Don’t you feel this?”
His voice was pained. “Don’t you get it yet? That’s the problem. I feel everything. I want you so goddamned bad, and I can’t ever have you.”
I was swept up in a sudden overwhelming emotion.
This boy.
This boy.
This giving boy who I knew would have given his life for me. Without a name or a reason or any proof I might deserve his mercy.
My kiss turned tender. So tender as I caressed the lines and curves of his gorgeous face. “Why wouldn’t you deserve me? You saved me.”
His hold cinched tighter on my hips, his body rocking in a slow, needy arc. His teeth ground as he rubbed his cock against the heat burning at the center of my thighs. As if it caused him physical pain while I was certain I’d never felt anything so perfect.
“Tell me why you can’t have me,” I panted.
Grief struck in the depths of those bronze eyes. “Told you there are things you can’t know. And fuck, Alexis…there are things you deserve that I just can’t give you.”
“Like what?”
He threaded his fingers in my hair. “You deserve someone who can love you the way you should be loved. Someone who can walk out the door with you on his arm and know he’s got the best girl at his side and show the fucking world how great she is. You deserve a relationship. A man to come home to. Tell me that isn’t something you want. Tell me it isn’t something you’ve been looking for. I know you well enough, if you deny wanting those things, it’ll only be a lie.”
I blinked at him. “Of course it’s something I want. Something I’ve been looking for my whole life.”
“And you haven’t found that guy yet?” Was it anger that flashed through the storm in his eyes?
I gulped around the emotion that suddenly clogged the base of my throat. “No. I’ve just always known I’d feel when it was real. I’ve had boyfriends…a couple who were kind of serious. But none of them have ever made me feel the way I knew I’d feel when I met the one who was meant for me.”
Zee kept rocking against me. A needy, desperate sway.
So close to driving me out of my mind. And I was feeling all those things I’d anticipated when I just knew…this breathtaking sensation that I was falling. Falling fast and hard.
What I never anticipated was the fear that would come with it. I guess I’d just never known what it would feel like for my heart to truly be at risk.
I was torn between begging him to bridge the gap between us and pushing him away as a wave of horror swelled in my chest as that nagging question I tried to disregard refused to be ignored.
I forced out the raspy words. “Before we move any further, I need to know one thing. Tell me this isn’t cheating.”
His strong jaw trembled. “No.”
Relief. It hit me on all sides.
Should I feel it?
I didn’t know. Because something about his response and reservations felt off. Wrong. While everything else felt perfectly right. This road ours. Purposed.
I cupped his face, forcing him to look at me when I kissed him softly. Reverently.
Before I took a leap of faith because I’d always believed faith would catch me. “Then I don’t care what’s standing between us as long as we have right now.”
He roughed his hands up the outside of my thighs, his heart slamming at his ribs as his fingers sank into the soft flesh of my ass, pulling me closer to his straining body.
He groaned, and I swore his eyes rolled back in his head. “Fuck…you feel so good. Too good.”
The softest giggle rolled up my throat, something awed and confused and elated. My voice was a trembling, breathy mess of lust and emotion. “You’re barely touching me.”
Somehow, that felt like a lie. I could feel him everywhere.
Low laughter rumbled in his chest, and there was something dark about it, something both regretful and amazed when he buried his face in my neck and murmured the words, “You have no idea, Lex. No idea what just touching you like this does to me. I could die a happy man right now…but we need to stop.”
The frenzy had worn off, and my senses slowly came back into focus. I chewed at my lip, finding restraint in a moment I wanted to let go most. “You’re probably right. We should slow down. I’m not exactly a one-night stand kind of girl.”
And I was sure once I gave that part of myself to him, I’d never fully recover when he was gone.
Guess I had a little self-preservation, after all.
Chuckling, he ran a knuckle down the side of my cheek. “No?”
My head shook, and I could feel the soft smile playing around my mouth. “No.”
“That’s good, because I’m not much of a one-night stand kind of guy.”
I looked up at his stunning face, my insides trembling with the need to know him.
Would he ever let me?