I’m sweating, but not because I’m hot. Hell, it would be impossible to reach a temperature that would make me sweat with the hospital blowing sixtydegree air-conditioning through the halls.
I’m nervous. Leaving the warmth of Lucas’s arms this morning, I headed home only to find out that Sam has been asking for me. Unable to reach me by cell, her mom called my dad—aaaand suddenly we’re eight years old again—to request I stop by to see her as soon as I could.
So here I am, standing in the hallway, building up the courage to face my old best friend and fully expecting her hate. This must be what it feels like before walking in front of a firing squad.
My stomach bottoms out as I think about all the reasons she has to despise me; after all, I’m the one who brought Trevor and Leaf into her life, even if unintentionally. Sam’s anger is justified. I’ll take my punishment like a good girl and move on.
I shake my hands to get my circulation flowing and throw my shoulders back, so ready to get this over with and get back to Lucas.
Pushing open the door, I’m welcomed by a stream of sunlight through the window, the beeping of a heart monitor, and that weird smell hospital rooms have—some mixture of bleach and blood.
Sam’s alone, but rather than lying flat on her back like the last time I was here, she is in an upright position in bed. Her face is still heavily bruised, one eye swollen mostly shut, but her stitched up lip lifts a little when she looks at me.
“Hey, Sam.” I move to the chair at her bedside but don’t sit, not sure if I’m welcome to stay long. “How’re you feeling?”
“I’m okay, better I think.” She blinks with her good eye. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” I hesitate but eventually sit, as it seems looking up at me is more of a strain on her. “I figured you’d have some things to say to me. Before you get started, I want you to know how badly I feel about all this. You have to know I had no idea—”
“Please.” She does her best to hold up a hand to silence me. “This wasn’t your fault.”
I feel my eyes widen and my lips part in shock. “It kinda was. I mean, if—”
“Stop, Shy.” She shakes her head and drops it back against her pillow as if the movement took too much out of her. “You know what it’s like in this town. I never locked my door. I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner.”
With the knot in my chest unwinding, I lean over and place my hand on her forearm. “This isn’t your fault.”
“It doesn’t matter; it happened, and honestly . . .” Her bloodshot eye meets mine. “I’m happy it did. I mean, I’m not, but I am. Coming close to death makes you see things differently. It’s like putting your life under a microscope, ya know? I’ve wasted so many years, Shy. It’s time to grow up.”
“What does that mean?”
She shrugs and faces into the sun, as if the rays of light hold the answers. “A better job, thought I could take some classes at the satellite school, settle down . . . eventually start a family.”
“You’d make some man very happy.”
She barks out laughter and winces, but her lopsided grin stays in place. “Not yet. I mean, look at me.” She sobers. “But someday.”
“Listen, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” I chew my lip, worried bringing him up will taint her opinion of me. “It’s Lucas.”
“You guys are together.”
My cheeks heat with a blush that seems to come out of nowhere. “I’m in love with him.”
“That’s great, Shy.” There’s sadness in her voice. “Just . . . be careful.”
“Right, um . . .” I fidget in my seat. “That’s what I wanted to explain, see . . .” Damn, I knew I’d eventually have to explain Gage to Sam; I just hadn’t prepared to do it now. “Lucas has DID, uh . . . dissociative identity disorder.”
Her eyebrows drop low, and with all the bruising, it looks painful.
“You’ve probably heard it referred to as multiple personality disorder.”
Her expression changes to understanding, and I take that as my cue to explain the last month of my life in great detail. She’s quiet and nods that she understands.
“It wasn’t Lucas you were . . . um . . . hooking up with. It was Gage.” There. It’s all out there now.
“Wow.” Her lips open and close as if she can’t find the right words.
“It’s a lot to take in; just know that Lucas is a great guy and if Gage did anything to hurt you, it was only to protect Lucas.” The sentence that just fell freely from my lips should sound absolutely insane in my own ears, but it doesn’t. Not anymore.
“Anyway, I hope it’s okay, but your mom gave Jennings your house key. Lucas is over there with a crew now, replacing all your locks, adding window locks and a security system.”
“You’re kidding?”