“You won’t lose me, Dad. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Can you promise me that boy is safe?” He tilts his head. “I’d bet he’s all right, but I won’t gamble with your safety.”
“I . . . yeah, I mean—”
“I don’t like that Trevor guy, but fact is Lucas tied him up.”
I open my mouth to defend Lucas but slam my lips shut without a single defense. “He deserved it. You can’t ambush a man at his home in the middle of the night, especially a man like Lucas.”
“I feel terrible about the life the boy was forced to live. Understand how that would mess a kid up. He’s always seemed like a decent guy. And now you’re in love with him.” He drains his glass and stands up. “Your mom was blind to my faults. I felt like the luckiest man in the world and took advantage of her not seein’ ’em. Don’t make the same mistake, baby. You see red flags, you run.” He dips and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I won’t lose you too.”
I watch my dad amble down the hallway like a man pulling the weight of a thousand lives behind him.
Red flags. You run.
Not this time. I’m done running.
THIRTY-NINE
SHYANN
“I’m sorry, Shyann, but visiting hours don’t start for another thirty minutes.” Diana, the receptionist at the hospital, gives me a sympathetic smile.
I have to see Sam. I have to wake her up, plead with her to push through so she can give me the information that’ll free Lucas.
My fingers clasp together on the counter in front of me and I try to remain calm. “I know, and I’d never want to get you in trouble, but do you really think anyone’s going to balk over thirty measly minutes?” I’ve been waiting to get in to see Sam since before the sun came up, and with every passing hour I could see Diana’s resolve dwindling. “Please, if anything happened and she didn’t wake up, I’d . . .” A lump forms in my throat at the very thought that Sam might not come away from all this okay. That I’d never get a chance to say how sorry I am for being a shitty friend.
“Sorry, Shy—”
“Please. I’m going crazy here.” Only she can free Lucas and I must get through to her and at least try to pull her out of this.
She sighs heavily and leans toward me. “I’m going to run to the bathroom.” A tiny lift of her eyebrows is all she gives before she turns her back and walks away.
With her out of sight, I scurry toward the double doors and pray like hell I don’t get caught. Once through, no one seems to care that I’m there except for a few questioning looks from nurses that I brush off by acting like I belong there, walking the halls of the hospital.
I follow the numbered doors until I reach Sam’s. Her door is cracked and I peek inside to see her lying in the dark alone and still unconscious. I tiptoe inside, close the door, and take the seat closest to her bedside.
I expect her parents will be here the second visiting hours open and I don’t want an audience for what I need to say.
Gently grasping her swollen fingers, I dip my forehead to our joined hands. “Sam, please wake up. I know I don’t deserve your friendship. Don’t deserve your help, not after the way I left things between us. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been a better friend to you.”
My words fade into the rhythmic sounds of the medical equipment as it beeps and hisses around us. Nausea rolls through my stomach as guilt and shame eat at my insides. I left Payson to avoid feeling, closed myself off to every single person who killed the numbness I refused to emerge from. It’s never been about this town; it’s always been about the people in it. About their love for me and my family, their concern, and even their pity. After Momma died, I was suffocated with it. All of it too much to internalize and more than I could ever process. So rather than even try, I took off.
I hardened myself against feeling anything. No friends, meaningless sex with someone I couldn’t stand, I even chose the most emotionless job available. Then I got fired and who did I turn to when I needed help? The people I abandoned without ever looking back. They should hate me. At the very least ignore me.
But they didn’t.
They embraced me.