We spent the next five minutes laughing so hard it took another ten to put our clothes back on.
When Luke came back, the boys drank beer and we all shared the Chinese that both Liam and Luke brought with them. We sat and talked about nothing for a couple of hours. Because one beer led to four beers, Liam ended up spending the night at the hospital with me again. When I got up to go to the toilet at around five in the morning, I knew something wasn’t right. My head spun, the room tilted, and my legs refused to hold my weight.
“Liam,” I called out as my vision faded around the edges, and I had just enough time to wrap my arms around my stomach before I hit the floor.
***
I woke up to an empty room. It was the room I was in yesterday, but something was different, something had changed, and I wasn’t sure of exactly what. I had a catheter in the back of my hand with both blood and saline dripping through it, and there was a blood pressure cuff around my arm, which made me jump when it started to tighten.
The door opened, and Kim, one of the midwives I had gotten to know walked in.
“Where’s Liam?” My throat was dry and sore, and I squinted at the sound of my own voice. It didn’t sound like mine.
“Ah, you’re awake. Hang on, and I’ll let him know.” She turned around and left. Liam was through the door less than a minute later.
His hair was all over the place, his shirt was a rumpled mess, and his eyes had dark circles under them.
“What happened?” I started to cry—confused and scared. My belly hurt as I heaved out a sob, my emotions morphing to panic and sheer terror. I put my hand to my flat belly. That single moment when I realised my baby wasn’t there would stay with me for the rest of my life.
Liam grabbed my hand away from my belly and kissed it.
“It’s fine. It’s fine, bub. We’ve got our boy.”
My whole body was shaking, and no matter how many times I blinked, I couldn’t see Liam through the tears. “Liam.” I managed to choke out on a broken breath.
“Our baby is okay, Sarah. You’re okay. Take a deep breath.”
I tried, repeating his words over and over in my mind until the panic ebbed.
“They showed him to you when you were in recovery, you don’t remember?”
“No. No, I don’t remember. Where is he? I need to see him.”
He kissed my hand again and then all over my face.
“Your blood pressure dropped really low, they don’t know why. The baby was showing signs of distress, so they had to do an emergency C-section.” I forced my eyes to meet his. I had surgery? My baby was okay. “He’s perfect, Sarah, he’s so small, and he looks like you I think. He’s got blond hair, loads and loads of blond hair.”
Tears dripped from Liam’s nose and onto my face.
“Can I see him? How much does he weigh? What time was he born? I missed it all.” I sobbed again as I looked around the room without finding my son.
I have a son.
“There was no choice, Sarah. You were at the side of the bed, and you shouted my name, I just got to you before you hit the floor. It all happened so fast.”
“Were you there, did you watch?”
“No.” He shook his head as he spoke the one word.
“You wasn’t there? We didn’t see? Neither of us got to see him born?”
“They had to be quick. They gave you a general and couldn’t wait for me to dress in. They held him up to me to see, though, and I’ve just been to see him in the baby unit. He’s five pounds one ounce or two point two nine kilos. He’s an excellent weight for being early, and he’s breathing on his own.”
“I wanna see him.” I couldn’t stop crying. I was so upset that I missed my son being born. After everything we had been through, we both missed it. My whole body was shaking, and I had no control over the way my jaw was chattering.
The door opened and my obstetrician walked in, followed by Kim.
“You okay, Mrs Delaney? Why the tears? You gave us a bit of a scare there, but everything went just fine and both you and the baby are doing great.”
“I wanna see my baby,” I spoke through gritted teeth, as it was the only way I could stop the rattling.
The blood pressure cuff went off, and Kim moved around the bed to take a reading. A soft tsk noise sounded from where she stood, but then she put the thermometer in my ear and took a reading from that, too.
“I’m gonna put the oxygen mask on you for a little while and raise the end of your bed. I think all of this has been a bit of a shock to you, my love, and your blood pressure has dropped a little low again.”
I watched as Liam’s hand went to the back of his neck, and he slid off the bed and out of the doctor’s way. He looked as tense as I felt. The nurse shot him a look as she slid a mask over my nose and mouth, and he dropped his hand and sat on the other side of the bed.
“I wanna see my baby, Liam. Make them bring him in here.” I didn’t give a shit about blood pressure or oxygen I just wanted to see my son . . .