‘That’s amazing!’ I heard Tennat cheer. ‘How are you doing that?’
Despite my fears I returned to my spot and looked back into the square. What I saw made my insides wither. Within the cage, the nekhek was spasming again and again, its muscles clenching so hard its whole body jerked uncontrollably into the air and then back down to slam against the floor of the cage. The creature twisted and turned, clawing at its belly.
Panahsi was holding a long piece of string in his hands, dangling and shaking it. ‘It’s the string,’ he told the others. ‘I’ve used sympathy to bind it to the little monster’s intestines.’ He began winding the string around one of his fingers. ‘So when I give it a little twist …’
The animal gave another screech that sounded almost human to me. It set my teeth on edge and started a pounding in my skull.
‘Show me how to do it,’ Tennat said, sounding like a gleeful toddler.
Panahsi shook his head, his eyes focused in deep concentration. ‘It’s not as easy as it looks. Blood sympathy takes a lot of preparation. I had to spend most of the day meditating just to get ready.’ He smiled up at Nephenia. ‘Worth it though, wouldn’t you say?’ He whipped the string out hard and I saw the nekhek’s body lift inside the cage, all four limbs extended, the furred webbing between them stretched unnaturally. The animal screamed once more and then fell to the floor of the cage, shivering.
‘That’s probably enough, Panahsi,’ she said, favouring him with a nervous smile. ‘We’re not supposed to kill it. Let’s go back before we—’
‘Let me try something,’ Tennat interrupted, pushing the other two away from the front of the cage. ‘My brother found this in a book Osia’phest was keeping hidden in the masters’ library.’ From his pocket he brought out what looked like a short, thin tube and began whispering.
‘Is something supposed to be happening?’ Nephenia asked.
‘Just a second.’
I didn’t recognise the spell he was casting, but I had a feeling I knew what he was going to do with it. There was a part of me that wanted to rush out and yell at them to stop. No matter how vile the creature inside the cage, there was something wrong with this. It wasn’t just that I resented the way they were taking turns showing off for each other, it was the way Tennat giggled when the nekhek cried out.
I wasn’t gullible enough to believe the nekheks really stole human babies and fed them to their young – at least, if they did, I’d never heard of it happening in my lifetime. But I also knew they carried disease that could kill even a master Jan’Tep mage. They were a threat to our safety and had to be eliminated. But it’s not as if it was their fault, was it? Can something really be evil just for being what it is?
I shook my head. Ferius and all her stupid talk were confusing me.
Tennat had stopped whispering his spell. ‘Watch this,’ he said.
I couldn’t bring myself to look away as he reached down and picked up a handful of sand from the ground. He started pouring it from his closed fist down into the hollow tube. At first nothing seemed to be happening, but then the nekhek jumped up from the floor of the cage. Its mouth was open wide as if it were desperately trying to suck in air. I felt sick.
‘You’ve linked the tube to its throat. Not bad,’ Panahsi said, a trace of admiration in his voice.
The nekhek made raw, almost gurgling sounds. It was going to die now, I knew. The three of them were swept up in the thrill of magic, the sensations of power, of accomplishment, of all the things I would never feel. They were too far gone to stop now. The creature knew it too. It turned its head desperately as if looking for someone to save it. For just an instant its face turned to where I knelt in the shadows. The moon was high in the sky and the light glinted off the animal’s eyes. They were like small shiny black marbles surrounded by black fur. I could see its pain so clearly in that moment. The anger. The fear. And I finally saw what Ferius had wanted me to see.
I saw myself.
I saw who I was and I saw the man I wanted to be.
I finally understood how that man was different from my friends and from my family, from my people. And I knew precisely what that man would do.
It was something very, very stupid.
20
Jailbreak
‘Stop it,’ I called out.
‘Kellen?’ Nephenia asked, her eyes fixed on me as I walked to the centre of the oasis, the rock hidden in my hand.
‘What are you doing here?’ Tennat said irritably, his concentration slipping and the link between the tube and the nekhek’s throat fading. The creature fell back in the cage panting. ‘Now I have to start all over again! It figures you’d want to ruin everything.’
‘Stop it, Tennat,’ I repeated, getting steadily closer to them and still not having a clue what I was going to do when I got there.
Their faces were practically glistening. You could see it in their eyes. Joy. Excitement. Desire. Surprise and annoyance that I’d interrupted them, and something else too: a tiny sliver of concern. They’re worried that I’m going to tell on them, I thought. As if anyone in the village would really punish them for what they were doing. Maybe they would have got into a little trouble. My father would be angered over the potential delay in his plans to deal with the remaining nekhek in the hills, our teacher Osia’phest would certainly mete out some modest punishment for casting spells without proper supervision, but everyone else would probably quietly cheer them for being bold and brave, for once again demonstrating that although the Daroman had military might, it was the Jan’Tep who controlled magic. But only true Jan’Tep, of course.
I hate my people, I realised, with the clarity that comes from an idea you’ve never dared to consider before. I hate all of them. I even hate my family, because one day they’re going to think I’m just as worthless and vile as the animal in that cage.
‘Did you … want to try?’ Nephenia asked gently.
‘Great,’ Tennat said. ‘Let’s have the spy-lover Kellen waste our time with yet another failed spell.’
Nephenia gave me a look of pity and then slapped the back of Tennat’s head. ‘Don’t be cruel. If Kellen wants to try …’
The hells with you, Tennat. The hells with you, Panahsi, even you, Nephenia. The hells with Mother and Father and everyone else.
‘You’ve got to be reasonable, Kellen,’ Panahsi said, his tone a remarkably poor impression of a sympathetic adult. ‘This is blood magic. It’s beyond …’
‘It’s beyond you, Kellen.’ At least have the courage to say it.