Sordid

As I wait for him to knock, butterflies swarm my belly. As much time as we spent together, this will be the first time we do it outside of the office. He’s not my boss. I’m not his employee. We’re just two lonely people seeking solace in each other’s company. I pace; the beat of my heart picking up with every second that passes, and then I hear the knock on the door.

Grant steps into my apartment, his presence too big for my small space. He’s everywhere, he’s everything, he’s all-encompassing as he levels me with his stare. The energy between us crackles.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, suddenly feeling out of place in my own space.

Crossing his arms in front of his torso, he steps forward and looks at me as if I’m the only woman in the world. As if I’m his savior.

“Later, Bridget. First I need to lose myself in you. Forget about everything.” He closes the distance. I take a step backward, my back hitting the wall in the entrance. He leans down, his breath tickling the skin of my jaw. “Will you let me do that?” He trails farther down, his tongue lapping a line as he proceeds. “Will you let me get lost in you?” he mumbles into the crook of my neck. I don’t speak. I can’t. A desperate moan escapes my lips. “Too many clothes.” His hands are pulling at my shirt. Until the button pops open and my breasts are exposed.

“You have too much on too.” I smirk.

My hands roam down his chest until I find the hem, and then I lift it. Once removed, I place a kiss on the hollow of his neck, down his collar, and across his breastbone. Slowly I lower my body to the floor. On to my knees until I’m licking and teasing the V of his hips. I unzip his pants, finding him hard and ready for me. With a swipe of my tongue, I place him in my mouth. Engulfing him in my warmth. I stroke him, lick him, suck, until he’s panting desperately.

“Up,” he orders before picking me up, walking us across the room and then throwing me on the bed. I quickly strip off my clothes as he puts on a condom and then crawls up my body, bracing himself on top of me. He settles in the crook of my hips. Until I feel him tease at my entrance. Slowly, painfully slow, he slides in, joining us, burrowing himself deep inside me. I rock under him as he thrusts inside me.

So deep, my breath hitches in my chest.

He strokes my jaw, lifting my chin so our gazes can meet. His greens eyes bore into me, saying unspoken words I can only dream to hear one day. They tell me how much he cares. How much I mean to him. How much he wants me.

He shows me with each inch of his body, with each thrust of his hips. First slow, then deep. Soon he picks up his pace.

A deep, primal cry starts to form in my mouth, but he silences me with his kiss.

Deep and passionate.

Our hips buck together.

He pulls me closer until there’s no space between our bodies. He begins to move faster than before. Lifting my hips, I match his rhythm.

Fast. Hard. Desperate. Primal.

A storm starts to brew inside me.

One thrust.

Two.

On the third, I come apart. We both do.

His body jerks within me, and an audible breath escapes his clenched jaw. In heavy breaths and pants, moans and gasps, we both succumb. We hold each other, our breaths coming out in tandem.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I finally ask.

“Talk about?”

“Today. With your brother. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not exactly. I’m over it. Most of his grievances against me are valid. It’s not really him who has me worked up. It’s Chelsea.”

I stiffen at her name.

“I know about you and Chelsea, but I know there’s more, Grant. Will you tell me?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” His eyes seem to turn darker.

“Honestly? I’m not sure. But I feel like I need to know.”

He nods. “I need to tell someone. Sometimes I feel like I’ll explode.”

“Have you ever thought about seeing a professional?” I ask.

“A shrink? No.”

“Well, then, allow me to be your shrink for the day.”

“I’ll try, but I don’t even know where to start.”

“The beginning?” I say and he lets out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve just never told this to anyone. I’ve never trusted anyone to keep this secret, but I trust you.”

“Tell me.”

“My wife . . .” he says and then clears his throat. “I know I told you pieces of it, but the rest . . . it’s bad. In the beginning, right when her true colors showed, I guess I kept hoping she’d change. Isabella changed everything for me. She’s my everything, but she’s also my one weakness. That fact is easily exploited.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t just leave. Why not take Isabella and leave?”

“Chelsea won’t let me. That’s the thing with her. When she wants something, she gets it. No matter what. For whatever twisted fucking reason, she wants to be married to me. If I left, I’d lose my daughter. That she promised.”

“How can she keep your daughter from you? I guess I just don’t get it.”

“Because she’s not mine,” he yells.

I jump and my jaw drops at his confession. “She’s not yours?”

Grant regards me with sad eyes. Eyes that have been through more pain than I can ever fathom.

“I stay because if I don’t, I’ll lose her. I stay and I do everything I can to protect my daughter. Biologically she isn’t mine, but I’ve raised her. She’s mine and I won’t let Chelsea take her from me.”

“How do you know for sure she isn’t yours?”

“I had a DNA test done when I first suspected. It wasn’t going to change anything for me, but I needed to know how deep Chelsea’s betrayals and lies went.” Sadness fills me to the depth of my soul. The pain he must go through is unimaginable. Once again I’m met with the similarities between my sisters and me. Again I see the people I care about being ripped apart by a selfish woman.

“Does Isabella know?” I ask.

He shakes his head before whispering “No.”

“You have to tell her.”

“I can’t.” He looks so defeated. I want to pull him into my arms and tell him it will all be okay, but I know that keeping this secret from his daughter will hurt her in the future. I know what Lynn went through when she found out her father wasn’t her father, and Isabella has a right to know.

“I know this is hard to hear, but one day you have to tell her. When I was in high school, we found out my father had an affair, which resulted in me having another sister. My family lost years because we never knew the truth.”

“This is different. There is no father. Chelsea won’t tell, ever. Keeping him a secret is too valuable to her. If I tell, I could lose my daughter.” His words sink in and I nod in agreement. There’s nothing more I can say right now, maybe in the future things will be different. Maybe then he will listen and be open to it. But for right now, I’ll just be here for him.

“I’m sorry, Grant.”

“I have no choice right now. I stay for one reason and one reason only. Isabella. I’ve thought about walking away a million times, but I’d sacrifice my own happiness to make sure my daughter is safe. Chelsea isn’t a good mother.”

“You’re a good father. Isabella is lucky to have you.”

“I’m not as good as she deserves. I work long hours and a nanny practically raises her.”

I balk at his comment.

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