“You don’t?”
“No. I get it. It’s a great job opportunity. My problem is you didn’t tell me. Do you know how much it hurts to know my sister doesn’t trust me?”
“This is why I didn’t tell you. For years it’s been about you. About Lynn. I finally wanted it to be about me,” I say on a broken sob. Tears stream down my cheeks at the admission.
“Bridge.” Olivia’s voice cracks.
“I’m fine.” I wave her off.
“You’re not. You obviously feel a certain way. Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing.” I shake my head, not wanting to answer.
“It’s not nothing. I can see it’s bothering you.”
A tear rolls down my cheek. “I realized I need this for me. Karen gave me no choice, but once I started working, I realized I was good at it. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to ask me to quit. I didn’t want you to take this away from me.”
“I wouldn’t have.”
“I didn’t know that,” I admit.
“This is more than that. This is about trust.”
“I do trust you, Liv. I’ve just lived in your shadow for so long, I wanted to shine for once. On my own, not as your kid sister. I didn’t want to be the consolation prize.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Between you and Lynn, it’s hard to be seen.” I feel awful saying the words. They seem so petty after everything she has been through.
“Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?”
“You were going through so much, I didn’t want to seem selfish. I didn’t want to burden you.”
At my words, she walks up to me and takes my hand. “You’re my baby sister. You could never be a burden.”
I nod, not wanting to break further.
“So, now it’s out in the open. Sit down and talk to me.” She walks to the couch in my studio, not taking no for an answer.
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“How about the beginning?”
“Can’t I start at the end?” The laughter dies in my throat.
“Nope.”
Thirty minutes later, I’ve told her everything about Karen and my first job. I tell her all about work, leaving out details along the way—big, giant details. I’m not ready for her to yell at me. I’m also not ready to break Grant’s confidence. There’s obviously deep-seated resentment between Grant and Spencer. Telling Olivia means telling Spencer, and that’s not something I’d do. I’d never give him leverage to hurt Grant.
After I’m done, she smiles. “It sounds like this job is perfect for you.”
“It is.”
“I’m happy. Maybe it will turn long-term.” She gives me a reassuring smile, but I know better.
“I’m not too sure about that,” I respond.
“Why not?”
I shrug. “It’s only temporary.” Like my relationship with Grant.
“Maybe he’ll change his mind.”
“He won’t.” The thought breaks my heart, but deep down I know we’re fleeting. Eventually, this will run its course and once again I’ll be alone. I give her a small smile, not wanting to discuss it anymore.
“Maybe.” She looks at her watch. “Oh shit. I didn’t realize the time. I’m meeting Spencer for dinner. Do you want to come?”
Going to dinner with her and Spencer is the last thing I want to do.
“I’m kind of tired from today. I’m going to stay home.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, but thanks.”
She stands up and places a kiss on my forehead.
Not even an hour passes before I hear my cell phone ring. I can’t find it and frantically search the couch for it. By the third ring I’m sure I’ve missed the call, but when I slip my hand behind the cushion, I’m met with the cold metal. Without even looking I hit the green button.
“Hello?”
“Bridget?”
“Yes?” I pull the phone away and notice a number I don’t recognize. “Who’s calling?”
“It’s Grant.”
Grant. Oh my God! What is Grant doing calling me? Even though we’ve been intimate at the office, I’m shocked to see him calling me. No matter what happened, this is a line we haven’t breached. I’m excited and nervous at the same time.
“Hi,” I murmur. “Is everything okay?” I hear him breathe deeply into the phone and instantly I’m on edge.
“Yeah. I just called to check on you.”
“To check on me?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“I’m just surprised.”
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“You’d be bored to tears by my laziness.”
“Nothing you could do would be boring to me.”
My legs feel like jelly. I shouldn’t take his words to heart, but I can’t help it. They weave through me, singeing my insides with excitement.
“What have you been doing that’s so boring?” he presses.
“Honestly? Earlier was anything but boring. Olivia just left.”
“How did that go?”
“It went okay. She’s not angry at me for working for you. She’s angry I didn’t tell her.”
“I’m sorry about you being in the middle of my family drama,” he offers.
“Not your fault.” It really isn’t. I could have told her anytime and avoided the whole mess.
“Are you mad at me? About keeping who I was from you?”
“No. I couldn’t be mad at you.” He stops talking for a minute, and I listen to the sound of him breathing through the phone. “So, back to your current state of boringness.” He chuckles.
“I was about to order Chinese.”
“Do you want company?”
Oh my God! He wants to come here? “I . . . you want to come here?” I ask, puzzled.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Kind of. Compared to where you live, my place is a hovel.”
“I’m in a different point of life, Bridget. I wouldn’t expect you to live in some grand place. You just graduated college.”
“It’s just . . . I’m embarrassed by it.”
“Stop. I only want to be with you. We’ve both had a rough day and I don’t really want to go home yet.” His voice is low and full of emotion.
Now that I know a little about him and his life, I understand why he doesn’t want to go home. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to see Spencer after all this time and on such poor terms. It can’t be easy knowing his brother is living the good life while his is falling apart.
Jealousy is a wicked thing. I should know. That’s the thing about Grant and me, we’re similar. I understand. That thought makes something inside of me want him here too. If only to comfort him for a while. I want to be that person for him.
“Come over.”
“I’m on my way.” We don’t say goodbye. We both just hang up. I look around my small studio apartment. It won’t be hard to clean, but I’m running out of time. I run around picking things up and stashing them in their typical places. The intercom chimes as I’m fluffing a pillow. With steady steps, I hit the button.
“Hello.”
“It’s me.”
“I’ll buzz you up.”