Tomorrow she was going to dig her claws into that cliff face and pull herself up toward where Nox was waiting for her. And Nevada was proud of that. Nox had told her he saw steel in her, and now she believed him. Because she felt that steel in her. And the snarl in her throat said her fox felt it, too.
From here on, she was shedding the skin of her past, and she was going to make a future with the man she loved.
The trip to her parent’s house was a short one, only fifteen minutes to the old cream-colored Victorian house set outside the city limits just beyond Foxburg. Acres of woods surrounded her childhood home. There wasn’t a tire swing in the front tree or handprints in the concrete. The house was pristine, just as it had been every day growing up. She and her siblings hadn’t been allowed to let it look “lived in.” Mom and Dad needed it spotless at all times for den meetings. They were perfect, after all. The perfect family with perfects kits who would find perfect mates someday and populate the next generation with perfect offspring.
She’d been such a thorn, such an outsider. She almost snorted at how uninviting the house looked. Nox would never settle for pristine. His mess matched hers. If she wanted to draw big rainbow dicks in sidewalk chalk all over their driveway, he wouldn’t just allow it, he would laugh and join her. If she wanted to paint their house fuchsia and grow dandelions in the front yard, he would help, and he would water those weeds.
She allowed a smile. One hour and this would be done. She could be brave for such a short amount of time.
Cars and trucks and SUVs were lined up along both sides of the circle drive. From the look of it, the entire den had shown up for her public shaming. God, foxes were assholes. If she had kits with Nox instead of cubs, she was going to teach them to be kind, generous, and accepting. She was going to do everything different and make sure they knew they were loved, every single day. And she had no doubt in her mind that Nox would do the same. Oh sure, they would likely be little monstrous brawlers if his genetics had anything to say about it, but they would be good inside like their father, too. She would make sure of it.
Her siblings and parents lined up on the wraparound front porch as she got out of her car, each with matching scowls as their gold eyes tracked her progress.
“H-hi, family,” she gritted out as she came to a stop in front of the porch stairs.
She wanted to meet their eyes so badly, but couldn’t. Someday she would be able to look everyone in the eyes. That was her personal goal, but she was on the first legs of her journey, and she wasn’t going to be hard on herself. Not today.
“I knew you were going to be an epic disappointment,” Jack said, looking down his nose at her.
Clenching her fists in anger, Nevada snarled up her lip and lifted her gaze to Jack. “Yeah, I’m not here to trade insults. I’m here to cut myself off from the den.”
“You’re not seeing it correctly,” Mom said. Her hair was perfectly coifed, and she wore a plum-colored business suit, as though she’d dressed for the occasion. “You aren’t gaining freedom today. You are being punished and shamed.”
“I see it differently,” Nevada murmured. Her voice shook, but at least she was talking, and that was a tiny victory in itself. “You see shame. I see freedom.”
Mom’s lip flickered up in a hate-filled snarl, and then she jerked her chin toward the woods where the snow was covered in paw prints and where dozens of red foxes stood waiting between the trees. This was going to hurt. One hour. One hour. Fuck. Nox was right, cursing helped, so she repeated it in her head three more times. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Don’t just scar her a little,” Mom said. “I want her mauled for her insolence. I want her mauled for risking the entire den’s exposure. I want her mauled for turning down matches, refusing to conform, and for stepping out of line her entire life. I want her never to be able to look at herself with pride.”
“Mom,” Leslie murmured, the first tinges of horror tainting her face.
“Hold your tongue or you’ll be next,” Mom spat out at Leslie, her eyes flashing the color of pure gold. She lifted her voice. “Let this be an example to any of you who decide to step out of line and betray your people! There will be no leniency!”
Chest heaving, Nevada bit her bottom lip hard to stop her tears from welling up in her eyes. She didn’t belong, didn’t belong. “You’ll have to live with yourselves for what you do today,” she called. Damn her voice as it still shook like a leaf. “I hope you have nightmares about what you do. I hope your sins eat you alive. I hope you feel poisoned by the memories of what you’ll do to me. But know this. Whatever you do? You aren’t really touching my soul. You’re nothing, and my life will be happy. I won’t think about you.” She slid her pissed-off glare to her mom and dared her, “Maul me. I’m still going to be free, and you’ll be trapped in this empty, boring life where you’re all exactly the same, faceless foxes. Unsympathetic, uncaring, unfeeling, brutal. I’m going to be different, and I’ll be happier for it. No matter what you do, you can’t take that away from me. Mark me, but hear my words. If you ever come after me again, my mate will fucking murder you, and I won’t lift a single paw to help you.”
“Language!” Mom demanded.
Nevada lifted her middle finger and finished, “I’ll let the Son of the Cursed Bear have you. You think you’re cutting me off from the den? Hell no. This is my choice. I’m cutting myself from you. Let’s get this over with. I have shit to do.” She pulled her sweater over her head as she made her way through the crunching snow toward the foxes in the woods.
When she looked back over her shoulder, her siblings and father were making their way somberly down the stairs and following her, but Mom was gripping the railing, arms locked, eyes blazing, body shaking with fury. Good. She shouldn’t feel like she was winning. Something had happened during Nevada’s speech. Her voice had become steadier, more growly. It didn’t shake anymore. She was meeting their eyes because she believed her words. She was going to be better off without them.
One hour.
Nox, I’m sorry. I’m coming back to you. Everything’s fine. Fine. Fine. Everything’s fine.
She was shaking now, from adrenaline and fear. As tough as she wanted to be, this would hurt. And she wasn’t going quietly either. Nope. She was going to fight back because she couldn’t live with her new, stronger self if she didn’t.
Nevada kicked out of her boots one by one and left a trail of clothes behind her, uncaring about the dozens of pairs of eyes that tracked her progress into the woods. Come on, Fox, we have work to do.