“Well,” Natalie said. “When the new space is finished, I may actually need to hire a second pair of hands. At least, I hope I’ll be busy enough to need that. I could train you on how to do all my prep work.”
“I don’t know,” Brooke said. “I actually have an interview next week for a new waitressing job.” She had spent the last week scouring the ads on Craigslist, applying to as many as she could. Of the many applications she’d filled out, she had received only one call, from a large seafood restaurant on Lake Union, which had advertised for a full-time, fine-dining server. Brooke had left her positions at Applebee’s off her résumé; she also slightly exaggerated how much experience she had with higher-end dining experiences. She hoped her knowledge of good wines would help her land the job at the upcoming interview.
Natalie cocked her head to one side. “You’re not happy at the bar?”
“It’s fine,” Brooke said. “I’d just like to work somewhere that’s a little more upscale. And that has a better health insurance plan than the one I’m on.”
“Ah,” Natalie said. “You know, I think there are programs the state offers for new mothers—”
“I’m not taking anything from the state,” Brooke said, with a sharp snap behind the words.
“Oh,” Natalie said, blinking fast. “Okay.”
The two stood in uncomfortable silence for a moment until Brooke finally spoke. “Sorry,” she said. “It’s just . . . I just can’t let my child feel like I did growing up.”
“How did you feel?” Natalie asked in a quiet voice.
“Less than,” Brooke said, and she felt the muscles in her throat grow thick. She still wasn’t accustomed to talking about her past, let alone her feelings about it. She wondered if there’d ever be a time that she could and not end up on the verge of tears.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie said. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Brooke said. “It’s not your fault.” And then she looked at Natalie, both women knowing exactly who Brooke did blame for her fractured childhood. The mother Brooke despised, and Natalie still wanted to find.
? ? ?
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Dr. Travers said, after the amnio was over. Brooke sat on the edge of the exam table with a thin white blanket gathered over her legs, a little freaked out that the tip of a long needle had just punctured her stomach and been so close to her baby. But the test had been painless, and was done in less than a minute.
Natalie sat on the chair in the corner, near where Brooke’s head had just been on the pillow. Her younger sister had offered to stay in the waiting room, but Brooke had asked her to come with her. The doctor was a tall, younger woman with pixie-cut brown hair and dark blue eyes. She wore black slacks and a red blouse beneath her white coat. “Your weight’s perfect, and so is your blood pressure.”
Brooke released an internal sigh of relief. “Are you going to do an ultrasound today?”
“We normally wouldn’t,” Dr. Travers said. “Your insurance plan only covers so many.”
“Oh,” Brooke said. “The receptionist mentioned something about being able to find out the sex.”
“You can when we get the results of the amnio, which will be in about a week,” the doctor said. “Until then, just keep up whatever you’ve been doing. Get as much sleep as you can, take your prenatal vitamins, and eat well. No raw eggs, undercooked meat, shellfish, or soft cheese, like Brie or Roquefort. Walking is the best exercise.”
“I’m a waitress, so that’s not a problem,” Brooke said. Her job had kept her physically active enough over the years that she’d never even considered joining a gym.
“Perfect,” Dr. Travers said. “But be careful lifting anything too heavy. I can write a note for your employer, if you want.”
“That’s okay,” Brooke said, hoping that after her interview with the seafood restaurant, she would have a new place to work.
“Okay, then,” Dr. Travers said. “I’ll see you in a month.” She paused, and then, as though sensing that Brooke needed it, gave Brooke’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry. You’re going to be a great mom.”
“She’s going to be the best,” Natalie agreed, and with her sister’s comment, despite all the insecurities that plagued her, something ancient and broken inside of Brooke—something that believed she would be lonely for the rest of her life—stitched back together and she saw herself in a totally different light.
Natalie