Breathing failed her as her heart burned within her chest. He was discussing their ending. Hearing that he didn’t want to say goodbye broke her heart. She found the concept as difficult as he did.
“I love her, Oliver. I can’t do it to her. I can’t tell her the truth—not after tonight. I can’t do it,” Callum cried.
Peyton closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her face, hitting the nightdress she was wearing. She counted each slow beat of her heart. Time was catching up to them. Time would separate them. Time would end them.
But the truth was that Peyton didn’t want to hear the truth. Not when it meant that the ending had reached them. She didn’t want it. For, as long as she could prolong the truth, she’d still have him. So she’d stopped asking for the truth. She hadn’t asked why.
“I shouldn’t have come back. I should have just let her be here and hate me. Right now, I hate me. I want her to hate me. It would be easier. Her life would be easier. She’s lost everything because of me. I should have stayed in the city. I should have never suggested Daylesford for your wedding. I should have just let her live her life.”
Peyton pushed off the wall and walked into the lounge. The moment her eyes landed on him, she saw Callum holding the phone in one hand and the other covered his face.
“Stop saying I should hate you, because I don’t. Not in the slightest,” she said.
Callum moved his hand from his face and looked up at her. The defeated expression on his face made her heart ache. Dropping to her knees in front of him, her hands rest on his thigh. Then he leant forward, allowing his forehead to touch hers.
“I need you to hate me, Peyton,” he begged.
She shook her head, their foreheads not breaking contact. “I can’t give you that.”
He squeezed his eyelids tight and said, “I know, Oliver. This is why I have to leave. I—”
Reaching up, Peyton took the phone out of his hand and held it to her ear. “Oliver, Callum will call you back in the morning. We need to talk about the fire and your wedding,” she said.
“Wait, Peyton.” Oliver stopped her from hanging up. “Why can’t you hate him?”
Callum sat straight and pulled away from her, as if he knew what Oliver had asked. He seemed afraid of what she would say next as a forgiving plea swept his face.
Peyton stared in his lost and conflicted eyes before she answered, “Because I want to feel loved by Callum Reid, even if it’s only for a little while. I want his love more than I want to live another day. I want to be with him for as long as I can, because for the last four and half years, I’ve been deprived of his love and his touch. I can’t hate him because he’s the love of my life.”
Oliver sighed. “He’s never stopped loving you, even when he moved to the city. You were the girl whose picture was by his bedside table. Whatever happens, just know he loves you and has always put you first.”
Peyton hung up the phone and placed it on the couch. Then she peered up through her lashes to see Callum staring down at her. He looked tormented, like he was in his own version of hell. When Peyton stood up, she held out her hand to him. Callum rubbed his palms over his face then let out a groan.
She stepped forward, rested her hands on the back of his head, and brought him to her stomach. She hoped that this one embrace could show him that she’d be okay. That she would rather see him free than stay here in Daylesford. His arms were around the back of her legs, holding her tight.
“I shouldn’t have left you, Peyton,” Callum said and gazed up at her. “I’m so sorry. If I could go back, I would. I’d change it all. I wouldn’t have left you here on your own.”
Peyton moved her hands from the back of his head to his cheeks. “Don’t do that to yourself, Callum.”
“God, why can’t you hate me?” he exclaimed, frustrated.
“Because I’ve spent years trying to. I’m tired of holding you accountable, when the reality is that I didn’t fight for you to stay. I didn’t do enough to convince you that what we had was worth you staying,” she said, brushing his skin with her thumbs.
“You were worth staying for. You will always be worth staying for. I was just a coward. I couldn’t let you be held back by me. I had your happiness in mind when I left,” he explained, untangling his arms and standing up.
Callum cradled her face in his hands before he brought his mouth as close to hers without touching. Placing her hands on his waist as she held him to her.
“Leaving you, Peyton... I was like the after events of a revolution. I was liberated, but I was lost. I had no direction in my life. But when I came back, my sad and lonely life made sense. Life is better with you in it, Peyton. It always has been,” he revealed before his lips lightly touched hers.
“Thank you for letting me have sometimes instead of never,” she said softly.