“Tiffany and I have plans,” I told Lake. “Alone.”
Lake had the posture of a college professor. It made her reactions easy to read. I expected disappointment, and that’s what I got. My instinct was to comfort her, but that’d probably be the worst thing I could do to a teenage girl I was pretty sure harbored a crush on me.
“What plans?” she asked. “You can’t leave the grounds.”
“I can if I want.” I was a grown man, and I’d go where I liked. But I wouldn’t. Where I wanted to be, one of the main reasons I’d come here, was where I could watch over Lake. I wasn’t going to go off for a few hours and leave her behind. “Bucky’s going to make us dinner after lights-out.”
“Oh.”
There was a fine line between hurting her and warning her off, and I could tell by her reaction I’d achieved the former. Knowing it was best didn’t make me feel better. Not thirty minutes ago, she’d pulled her body close to mine, told me she was getting older every day. It wasn’t news to me, and it tore me down the middle. I didn’t want her to get older, to know what I knew, to do things Tiffany had done. But it would happen regardless. Someone else would be her first love. Some other man would be the first to cherish her. The first to ruin her. It couldn’t be me. It wasn’t so much the difference in our ages that scared me, but how much a person could change, could be changed, in only a couple years.
They were thoughts I didn’t want to have, and they got louder as she sat quietly, guiding the horse. There wasn’t a single blemish on her pink cheeks. I opened my mouth to ask if she’d put on sunscreen, but that wasn’t what came out. “What about that guy?”
She sighed. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
I’d gone too far, maybe. “Do what?”
“Drive.” She held up the reins. “Will you?”
I took them back as discontent rolled off her. “Lake?”
“Were you with her last night?” she asked. “Is that why she was late this morning?”
I had no idea that was even on her mind. It really fucking shouldn’t have been. She should be thinking about campfire skits and summer reading lists and whatever else young girls thought about. “That’s between me and your sister.”
“Oh. Okay. Then don’t ask me about that guy. And his name is Corbin.”
I knew his name, but I wasn’t going to use it. I didn’t like how he kept appearing out of nowhere, how he’d set his sights on Lake but also knew Tiffany through his brother. “Did he just take you back to your cabin or what?”
“I want to get off.”
“And do what?” I asked. “Walk back?”
“It’s not that far.”
“I’m not prying, just making sure he was polite. That he didn’t, you know, try anything.”
Her breathing sped. Her heart had pounded against my back earlier. I was better than her at hiding it, but my reaction to her was the same. Physical. Powerful. Painful.
“I’m not going to let you down,” I said.
She looked over the side of the horse, as if she were thinking of jumping off. I had no business asking her what I did, making her feel sad or bad for letting Corbin walk her back like any normal teen girl would’ve done. My hands sweat around the leather reins. “Hold on,” I said.
“What?”
“Grab something. The saddle, my arms, whatever.”
Once she had the horn, I applied pressure to Betsy’s sides. She took off into a trot. “What are you doing?” Lake asked, grabbing my forearms instead.
I nudged the horse again, and she picked up her pace. “Relax.”
“You don’t even know how to ride,” she cried. “Stop.”
I steered the horse alongside the other campers, who hollered at us. One of the instructors cheered us on. He’d called Betsy wild, but he wouldn’t put us on a horse that couldn’t be controlled. We cantered to the front of the group.
Lake squirmed between my legs, her fingers digging into my skin. “Manning—please.”
“Please what, Birdy? I’ve got you. Don’t worry.”
She didn’t ease her hold on me, but she relaxed her back against my front as we pulled out ahead of the group. Instinctively, I put an arm around her, holding her to me, just us, just for a second. Some strands of her hair flew into my mouth, but she was laughing again. It came from a place of pure joy. I liked that laugh so much, that carefree sound in my ears.
My world had been so dark before Lake.
It worried me how far I’d go to keep that light in my life.
17
Manning
Tiffany bounced in place, her eyes closed and her smile big. She’d pulled her hair back into a twisty-bun thing and kept everything simple with a loose sundress and little makeup. She was a natural beauty. “Where are you taking me?” she asked.