Oh, God. Pregnancy was so long.
Heaving a sigh, I reached the top of the steps and knocked. The door opened a moment later, and the acrid, herbal smell wafted out. It was pungent, but better than the cat pee scent in the hall. Madam Psuka appeared, looking much the same as she had last month, only wearing soft, flowing black pants and a loose-fitting top slipping off one shoulder.
“You are back.” She nodded, her eyes narrowing. “I knew you would be.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “May I come in?”
“Yes. Please.” She stepped back, and I entered the colorful room, which was, again, lit only by candles. “Sit down.”
I lowered myself onto the rug, and she sat opposite me, legs criss crossed, feet bare. “So,” I began.
“You are vith child.”
I blinked at her, then touched my stomach. “Is it that obvious?”
She shrugged and gave me a smug little smile. “Maybe only to me.”
“Wow.”
“The handsome stranger?”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
“Interesting. You vant reading?”
“Uh, yes. I’ll pay you this time. How much?”
“For you, twenty dollar.”
“OK. Should I pay you now?”
She flipped her wrist. “You can pay after. Give me your hands.”
I held them both out, and she took them in hers, closing her eyes. Again I felt the hum of energy between us, as unbelievable as it sounds. My hands and forearms grew warm with it.
“Things are uncertain,” she said.
“Yes, that’s why I’m here,” I said, a bit peevishly. “I need to know what to do.”
She opened her eyes. “I cannot tell you what to do. I can only tell what I see.”
“OK, fine. What do you see?”
“You have important decision to make.”
I clenched my teeth. Twenty dollars for this? “And?”
“And the stranger is involved.”
“But…he’s not really a stranger. I know him. I’ve always known him.”
She cracked one eye open. “You don’t know everything.”
I huffed out a breath. “OK, fine, I don’t know everything, but I know enough. He’s totally immature. He’s never even had a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand commitment.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. Is possible.”
Frustrated, I shook my hands. “What else is there?”
“Love.”
“What love?”
“Love between you and the stranger. Love between you and the baby. Love between the baby and the stranger.”
“That’s crazy,” I said, but my heart was beating hard.
“Tell me. Have you had any odd dreams lately?”
“Have I? No, not really.” Then I remembered something. “But Miles…the stranger, the baby’s father…Miles did, a while back.”
“Tell me.”
I thought hard about the details. “Um, he was in my coffee shop eating a bagel.”
She nodded. “The bagel was something missing from his life. Key element. He vas not complete and whole. Also…” She opened one eye again and gave me a sly look. “It can mean sexual urges.”
My face burned. “Uh.”
She closed her eyes again. “Go on.”
“OK, um…he was eating a bagel and I was taking his picture. No! I was looking for my camera, and I couldn’t find it.”
She nodded. “He wanted you to focus on him, see a big picture. Possibly a memory.”
“And then I turned into a bear.”
She opened her eyes. “A bear?”
“Yes. What does that mean?”
“A bear is a symbol in the cycle of life. Perhaps it was his cosmic energy recognizing he would create new life with you.” She glanced down at my stomach. “Or perhaps he just vanted to see you bare. There is that.”
I grimaced. “There was that.”
One eyebrow peaked. “Obviously.”
“Look, I need to know what to do. Is there some sort of sign there? Something to indicate what direction to take? This is serious!”
“As I say, I cannot tell you what to do. I can only intuit. But.” She closed her eyes and concentrated hard, breathing deeply. “You must be willing to bend. You must be willing to change.”
“But it’s not me that has to change!”
“Yes. You must be willing to see things not as they have been or as they are, but as they could be.” She leveled me with her gaze. “All that is real is not visible. And all that is visible is not real.”
I sighed. I was getting nowhere, and frustration was making me sweat. Taking my hands from hers, I pulled a twenty from my purse and gave it to her.
She walked me to the door, and I thanked her for her time. As I was leaving, she put a hand on my shoulder. “You have come a long vay since last you were here. I sense it. I see it.”
I nodded as tears filled my eyes. “I just don’t know where to go next.”
She tilted her head. “You will figure it out. Be strong, be brave, be open to all possibilities. Everything you vant is there for you to find.”
Everything I vant.
Right.