And we are living inside of it.
I clasp her hand. My heart—a heart that cared for logic and practicalities and selfish pursuits—that heart is on fire.
Ben takes his brother’s hand, and Charlie helps him stand on the table. Every child meets our eyes, smiling as though they’ve obtained knowledge and secrets of the world.
Each individually unique.
Each with a mind of their own.
Each proud and in love with who they are.
I expected no less.
Jane looks between Rose and me, and very strongly, she says, “Ensemble.”
“Ensemble,” our children then exclaim at once.
My lips pull upward into a blinding grin. Rose is moved, fingers to her own lips, and her fiery yellow-green eyes meet my calm deep blue. I skim the base of her neck with my hand.
We draw our gazes to our children. Fire and water upon them. We tell all seven the one word that has breathed inside of us from the moment we met.
We say, “Ensemble.”
Together.
< so long >
April 2028
Zoo
Utah
DAISY MEADOWS
For many, many years, we’ve strayed from any and all zoos. The one time we did visit, way before we had Sulli, the experience ended with crowds pressed up against us. Snapping photos, yelling our names. We never considered putting our girls through that mayhem.
Not even as Winona begged for the past year. “Let’s see all the elephants and the turtles and the zebras and the unicorns!”
“Fucking unicorns,” Ryke muttered, shadow of a smile peeking.
I explained that unicorns live in majestic meadows off in majestic lands, not zoos.
“Let’s take a boat there!” Winona exclaimed.
We have not taken a boat to a majestic land with majestic meadows, but we finally planned a trip with a zoo pit stop. Only because this particular zoo let us slip inside on a closed for employees only day. No crowds. Not many people. Just some zoo attendants, animals, and us.
“Let me know if you want anything, I’ll open the register,” Bethany, our really nice zoo guide tells us. She first leads us into the gift store, saving the exhibits for later.
As our kids enter ahead of us, I come up behind Ryke, hugging him around the waist. I playfully try to ground his stride, but he easily walks forward, just with me in tow. I catch him eyeing my flower crown, and I playfully bite his arm.
Then our energetic four-year-old giraffe races into the depths of the store. Hopping up and down like this is heaven on earth. She lands at the towering wall of stuffed animals. Winona Briar Meadows is a giraffe, not just in spirit but in costume. I helped her put on an orange and white giraffe onesie this morning, hood concealing her messy brown hair.
Our ten-year-old daughter darts in the opposite direction, towards a bucket of silver pendants and rope jewelry.
I gasp. “Our brood has separated. Where will we go? What will we do?”
Ryke ruffles my blonde hair, my flower crown at a tilt. Then he faces me while I rock on the heels of my feet, my palms on his firm chest, lean muscle beneath his gray shirt. I’d steal his green baseball hat off his head, but flower crowns it is today.
Sulli wears an identical one, and she asked if I would wear mine with her.
My wolf stares down at me, his brown eyes flitting to my yellow shirt every few minutes. It says here comes the sun.
Ryke tells me, “Wherever you go, I’ll go.”
I smile tenfold and place my hands on his unshaven jaw, rough beneath my palms. I just stay here, liking how I’m in direct line with someone mighty and strong, daring and dangerous, and most of all—kind and caring.
Is there anyone in this world who cares more about me than this man? Has there ever been someone out there who loves me so entirely other than him?
I don’t think there is. I don’t think there could be.
Ryke doesn’t wait any longer.
He kisses me, holding the back of my head, deepening our natural embrace. My smile grows beneath his lips.
“Daddy! I need help!”
“Mom, can you come here?”
We break apart, and he kisses my cheek before we physically separate.
“Looks like I’m going this way and you’re going that way.” I walk backwards towards the jewelry where Sulli digs into a clear bucket.
“Don’t get into too much fucking trouble, sweetheart.” He scans me once before setting his gaze on Winona, who jumps repeatedly. Trying to reach the highest shelf of dolphin, sea turtle, and penguin stuffed animals.
We never really tire from Winona’s bounciness, her crazed energy in good company with the rest of ours. I slip next to Sulli and hip-bump her.
She hip-bumps back and shows me the rope necklaces she picked out. “Can I get these?”
Each has one silver animal pendant: bird, dolphin, wolf, and otter. I smile at her choices, knowing which one represents us. I’m the bird. She’s the dolphin. Ryke is the wolf. Winona is the otter. “Definitely.”
“I want to keep the wolf, then give you the dolphin, Dad the otter, and Nona the bird.”
Sulli always thinks about us, and I was never really anyone’s number one growing up. I was the number two or number three sister. Sometimes even number four. Ryke and I are number ones to our girls, and it’s an insane feeling.
I just want to make sure that she always thinks about herself too. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”
Sulli adjusts my off-kilter flower crown with a smile and says, “I really, really want to, Mom.”
“Then I’m totally wearing mine out.” I wag my brows like this is an A+ daring act, even though it’s so normal.
“Higher!” Winona’s laughter lights her voice. The little giraffe sits atop Ryke’s shoulders, already in line with the tallest shelf.
“You want to hit your head on the fucking ceiling?”
“Yeah!”
Ryke has his hand on her ankle. “Not fucking happening, sweetie.”
“Watcha looking at, squirt?” Sulli skips over to her little sister.
“The sea turtles!”
Sulli glances over her shoulder at me, waiting for me to catch up, but my phone rings in my pocket with a familiar tone. I wave my cell at my daughter, and she nods, darting straight to Ryke and Winona.
I rest my arm on the checkout counter, our zoo guide Bethany texting by the rack of key chains, but I don’t worry whether she’s in earshot.
Phone to my ear. “Hey there.”
“Okay, hey, so I’m at the store,” Willow whispers like she is sneaking down aisles unseen. “And wait, we’re still on for breakfast when you get back?”
“Totally, it’s been too long.” I haven’t seen my best friend in an entire week, which seems short, but when she’s in Philly, we usually drop by and see one another every other day. The biggest sadness of the summer: when Willow leaves for London with Garrison and Vada, their daughter who’ll turn four soon. It’s the longest span of time they’re not around any of us.
“Agreed…” Willow trails off, making a thinking noise like uhhh. “I forgot why I called…hold on a sec.”
I smile and push dolphin magnets around a display. “I’m sending you all the remembrance vibes.”
“Got it.”
I mock gasp. “Lily was right. I do have powers.”
Willow laughs. “If it were up to Lily, we all would.”
I smile wider at that truth. Absentmindedly, I thumb a silver ring on my finger, a square etched in the center. I haven’t taken it off since the day Willow gave me hers, and she’s never removed her matching one.
Quietly, Willow asks, “Winona hates banana muffins or blueberry pancakes? Vada said the blueberries, but Garrison is pretty sure it’s the banana muffins.”
Vada and Winona are best friends, along with Audrey and Kinney, so if one girl has a play date, chances are all four will be there.
“She hates blueberries,” I say. “Sulli doesn’t like banana muffins, but only when people put nuts in them.” Sullivan is still the pickiest eater around, but she makes do.