And yet what did fate have in store for him? None other than dropping Kinsey right in his lap.
Ryder closed his eyes. What an utter fool he’d been. All those times telling others that nothing scared him, when he’d known deep down in the pit of his soul that the mere thought of not having Kinsey’s love terrified him.
He opened his eyes, his chin to his chest. His mistakes were in the past. Ryder was getting a second chance, and he wasn’t going to blow it again. Nothing—and no one—was going to get in his way of reminding Kinsey how good they were together.
His image in the glass faded as he shifted his focus to beyond the window. The entire landscape was drenched in white. It was normally a time of year he loved, but that wasn’t possible this time. Not when everything he wanted was just out of reach.
He braced his hands on either side of the window and glanced over at the bed where Kinsey slept. He should be rejoicing because she’d welcomed him, not worrying. But that was exactly what he was doing. Worrying.
Worrying because something kept nagging at him. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something he was missing. Something he should’ve seen—and he felt like it was important.
Ryder grabbed his shirt and boots and quietly left the room. It was doing him no good to stay and contemplate what Kinsey was thinking when there was work to be done. Despite his millions of years on the planet, he had no clue what went on in the mind of a female.
Something rammed into his shoulder. Ryder blinked and spun around to find Rhys wearing a deep frown.
“Where the hell have you been?”
Ryder ran a hand down his face. Fuck. He just now remembered hearing someone call his name through their mind link. Not once had he taken a night to himself, and that’s all he’d wanted. Ryder should’ve known something important would come up. It always did.
“Tell me what you need,” he said to Rhys.
Rhys lowered his gaze to Ryder’s hands that held his boots and shirt. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the computer room in a bit.”
He watched Rhys walk away. A glance down showed his hands were shaking, he was shaking. With his inner turmoil about Kinsey, the danger of Ulrik and the Dark, MI5 on the grounds, and everyone constantly shouting his name, he needed a moment to himself.
Ryder made his way downstairs through the secret doorway to the mountain. It had been days since he’d been in his true form, and it was playing havoc with his mind. He dropped his boots and shirt inside the mountain.
His strides were long as he walked the tunnel, but soon he was running. He’d prefer to be in his mountain where he was completely alone. The fact it was too far away kept him there, close to Kinsey should she need him.
Ryder found the first cavern large enough to hold him, but he spotted white scales. Dmitri.
The next cavern appeared to be empty until he heard a rumble and peered into the darkness to see mocha-colored scales. Anson.
He skipped the next five and continued down until he was sure he was alone. There Ryder shifted, uncaring that he still wore his jeans.
A calmness stole over him, easing the onslaught of emotions that battered him like a storm. No matter how much they looked like humans, they were and always would be dragons. He shook his great head and spread his wings before snapping them shut.
He closed his eyes, imagining that he was soaring through the air, sweeping in and out of the clouds. The band of tightness that had constricted his chest since the moment Kinsey said she didn’t know if she could forgive him began to ease.
If only he could be flying. Then he could remember who he really was—or rather who he’d once been. He’d be able to work out all the problems facing the Dragon Kings and Kinsey. Because in the air, everything came into focus with a clarity that always astounded him.
“Of all the Kings, you’re one I never worried about.”
Ryder snapped open his dragon eyes to find Con sitting on a boulder with one leg braced on the rock and the other on the ground. He twirled the gold dragon-head cuff link at his left wrist and glanced up at Ryder.
“You look like hell, my friend.”
Ryder briefly looked away. He felt like it too. Unwilling to return to human form, he opened his mental link to Con and said, “I’ll be fine.”
“Hmm,” Con said after a moment. “I’m no’ so sure. Kinsey is messing with your head.”
“There’s a lot going on between Ulrik, the Dark, and now trying to clear her name.”
Con released the cuff link and leaned his forearm on his bent leg. “I trust your judgment, Ryder. You’ve never let me or any of the Kings down. It’s why I didna allow Rhys to interrupt you and Kinsey last night. Everyone deserves a night off here and there.”
“But?” Ryder urged.
“There was a breakthrough with Esther. She gave us a name.”
This shocked Ryder so much he shifted into his human form. They should’ve told him immediately. When he thought of all the answers he could’ve learned from a single name, he wanted to shout his fury at losing those hours.