She found herself back on the bed with Ryder still buried deep within her. Then he took her legs and lifted them so they were next to his head. Only then did he begin to plunge within her again.
This angle brought him even deeper so that he touched her womb with every thrust. Her eyes were focused on his face, on the set of his jaw and the hunger in his gaze.
He was allowing her to see the yearning in his soul—for her. It took her breath away. But did she dare believe it?
Ryder couldn’t get enough of her. The more he was in her, the more he had to have. He knew he wouldn’t be able to let her go again. He’d been an utter fool to do it the first time. It was a mistake he wouldn’t repeat.
She felt amazing, her tight walls wrapped around him, tightening as she built to another climax. He watched her, the ecstasy and happiness on her face was a reminder of what they’d had.
He gripped her ankles tighter, his own orgasm coming quickly.
“Yes,” she said.
Ryder thrust faster. Her breathing quickened as her moans grew louder. He wanted her limp with pleasure, at least that had been his initial goal. Now he knew he’d be the one limp and content alongside her.
A strangled cry tore from her lips as she peaked for the second time. The feel of her walls tightening around him was too much. Ryder drove into her twice more before he plunged deep and fell over her, catching himself with his hands as he climaxed.
For three years he’d shunned women as he pined for Kinsey, but she was back in his arms. For the time being, at least.
When he opened his eyes, she was gazing up at him with a grin.
“Wow,” she whispered.
Ryder smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “Ditto.”
“Don’t leave.”
Just what he wanted to hear. They climbed beneath the covers. This time when she curled against his chest, she was awake.
“You’ve been here both nights, haven’t you?” Kinsey asked.
He thought about lying, because he wasn’t sure how she would react. But he quickly decided against it. “Aye.”
“Why?”
“I had to be near you. The first night after I got your shoes and jacket off I was going to leave, but I couldna. So I thought I’d lay beside you for a wee bit. The next thing I knew, you were lying just like this.”
She drew in a deep breath and released it. “And last night?”
“I told myself I’d stay away, but I wasna strong enough. That one night with you reminded me of what we had. I wanted more. You slept deeply those nights. Did I wake you tonight?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why?”
There was a brief hesitation. “Several things. Mainly trying to clear my name, sorting through all the data we’ve collected that led us to even more data.”
“What else?”
“You.”
He wasn’t sure whether to be excited or worried that he was on her mind. “What about me?”
“Being with you again is a reminder of what we had.”
“And how I hurt you.” No amount of apologizing would ever make up for what he did. No excuse was forgivable for hurting someone as special and giving as Kinsey.
She gave a little nod. “Yes.”
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“I don’t know.”
Those words haunted Ryder the rest of the night, even as they made love again and again. Passion and need blended with the desires of the past that still held them both in its thrall, refusing to let go.
But he could sense Kinsey continued to hold a small portion of herself back, and that hurt Ryder more than he expected.
He was used to the Kinsey who gave all of herself to him, but that woman was gone.
In her place was one more reserved and a little cold. A woman who didn’t trust as easily and assumed everyone was always lying.
That’s what he’d done to her.
No amount of lovemaking was going to redeem him or erase the hurt he’d caused. It didn’t matter that their bodies moved in a rhythm all its own, a tempo that was just for the two of them. Nor did it matter how much pleasure he wrung from her.
None of it mended her heart that he’d so carelessly broken.
That wasn’t true. It had torn Ryder apart to leave her, but he’d done it to protect Dreagan and the other Kings.
Why hadn’t he gone back to her when he’d discovered the spell was broken and they could love again?
He slowly pulled his arm from beneath Kinsey’s head and sat up on the side of the bed. He sighed, not wanting to answer that question—even to himself.
Ryder stood and pulled on his jeans, not bothering to buckle them. He walked to the window, but he wasn’t looking out. His gaze was focused on his reflection.
He hadn’t gone back to Glasgow for Kinsey because there hadn’t been time.
Lie. Or a half-lie.
There were occasions he could’ve gone. Why hadn’t he? What held him back? It wasn’t Con’s reaction, because Ryder didn’t give a shite about that.
He ran a hand down his face, his reflection in the glass troubled—just as his heart was. Because the truth was he was scared he’d lost Kinsey.
By not going to her, he didn’t have to face a truth he feared more than anything.