Slouch Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide to Magic, #1)

‘He left an hour or two after Bellham and Fairclough. He’s not been back since.’

‘Bethany,’ Winter said, ‘could you get us his personnel file?’

She seemed surprised. ‘Oh, I don’t have it. All those sorts of things are kept over at HR.’

I frowned at Winter. ‘Is that typical?’

‘I suppose so.’

I couldn’t help wondering whether Tarquin was involved with this too. He was in HR and I certainly wouldn’t put it past him. ‘Thank you so much, Bethany. You’ve been extraordinarily helpful. You may go.’

‘Sure.’ She stood up and pushed her chair back before bobbing her head and leaving. Once she’d gone, I got to my feet as well. ‘Now that,’ I said with a dramatic flourish, ‘is how to conduct twenty interviews in five minutes. Let’s get out of here.’

Winter didn’t move. ‘There are still nineteen people to go.’

‘Yeah, but we’ve got what we needed. Bethany has her finger on the pulse.’ I grinned. ‘Never underestimate the tea lady.’

‘It’s important to talk to everyone.’

‘It’ll take hours, days probably. We don’t have that kind of time and we already have a new lead. Stop being such a stickler for the rules, Rafe. We can come back if we need to.’

‘This is not the way things are normally done.’

‘You should be happy.’

‘I am.’ He didn’t look it. He seemed rather disturbed.

‘You’re not smiling,’ I pointed out. He didn’t smile all that often and he really should because his eyes crinkled up and he looked approachable and warm rather than – wintry. ‘Don’t worry about Bethany. There are people like her in every office up and down the land. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled that you could talk to someone about giving her more responsibility but she probably loves knowing all the gossip too. She’d be great at the reception desk,’ I mused. ‘Then Michael Weathers could go off and improve his magic.’

Winter still didn’t smile. ‘And what if someone whose parents dared to have sex before marriage shows up?’

I shrugged. ‘She’s old-fashioned. And yes, a bit odd. But we can’t lock everyone for that. If we did, I reckon the two of us would be top of the list. Besides, this is the Order. Weird goes with the territory. Along with power hungry, overly ambitious and downright irritating.’

Winter sighed and pushed back his hair. ‘Let’s find the file for this Marsh fellow and pay him a visit. We should probably talk to Adeptus Price too and find out why he was so desperate to speak to Diall. But we need to make a detour first.’

I wrinkled my nose. ‘A long detour?’

‘We can take fifteen minutes out.’ His jaw hardened. ‘It’ll be worth it.’

‘Will it involve stairs?’

I didn’t get an answer.

***

In the end, I was rather thankful for Winter’s side mission. It was grey and blustery outside, with a chill that penetrated my bones. It was the sort of day when, by rights, I should have been curled up on my sofa with my duvet and a vast mug of steaming hot chocolate. I moaned at the thought; that garnered me a strange look from Winter.

We ended up in a large unsignposted building. I must have passed it on numerous occasions when I was a Neophyte but I’d never wondered what it was. ‘What is this place?’ I enquired, trotting to keep up with Winter’s long-legged march. ‘And can you slow down?’

‘I promised you fifteen minutes. I would hate to go back on my word.’ He still didn’t tell me where we were.

We swerved round the corner and came out into a vast atrium. I gasped. It was really quite something. Even with the grey skies outside, the light filtering in through the glass was extraordinary. There were plants everywhere, some of which I recognised, some I didn’t. Every shade of green was represented and the earthy smell that filled the space was incredibly alluring. It almost made me want to start my own allotment. Almost.

‘Let me guess. This is for herb lovers like you?’

‘Try again.’

There was a strange chattering sound. I spotted a squirrel with an impressively bushy tail disappearing into the undergrowth. ‘Hey!’ I exclaimed. ‘That squirrel was red!’ I turned to Winter and realised he was watching me carefully.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It’s part of a programme we’re undertaking to help the red squirrels return in full force to the countryside now that we’re over-run by greys.’ He pointed to a patch of tall plants. ‘Look at these.’

‘Wheat?’

‘Yes. Magic is being used to strengthen their roots and their ability to grow in difficult terrains. There’s already been considerable success and farmers across the world are reaping the benefits. Literally.’

Okay, I was impressed. I opened my mouth to ask Winter another question but my attention was caught by a gaggle of uniformed children heading our way. I raised an eyebrow. ‘Getting the magically inclined in while they’re young?’

He shook his head. ‘Wrong again.’ He gestured to the red-robed witch leading the way and she ambled over.

‘Adeptus Exemptus Winter! What a pleasure.’ She presented her cheek for him to kiss then kissed him back. I banked down the trickle of anger I felt at someone else’s lips touching the cheek of my partner. What a ridiculous thing to be annoyed about.

‘This is Ivy Wilde,’ he said. ‘Ivy, meet Adeptus Major Goldstein.’

There was a flicker of curiosity in her gaze as she smiled at me and inclined her head. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

‘Why don’t you tell Ivy what you’re doing?’

Goldstein lit up. ‘My pleasure. I’m with this group who’ve come from London.’

She was interrupted by a boy of about ten who tugged impatiently at her sleeve. ‘I need to go to the toilet.’ He spoke in an oddly stilted manner and wouldn’t look her directly in the eye.

‘Of course.’ She beckoned another witch from the back of the pack who led the boy away.

‘He’s autistic,’ I said.

She smiled. ‘Yes, in this group they all are. We use magic to boost their development and help them make sense of the world. It’s a slow process but we’re seeing some real results. Yesterday, we had a great bunch of kids in who were all suffering from cancer. We haven’t found a way to beat their disease but we were able to show them the progress we’ve been making in the labs.’

I licked my lips. ‘Wow. That’s … that’s really good.’ The words sounded stupid. Talk about an understatement.

One of the younger children reached out and touched a rose stem, drawing back and howling when a thorn pierced his skin. Goldstein hurried over to him while I turned to Winter. ‘So that’s today’s lesson, is it? That the Order does a lot of good?’ I’d been dimly aware that there were projects like these but I’d never given them much thought.

‘You were only here as a Neophyte for a couple of months, Ivy. Your focus would have been on initiation and basic studies.’ A trace of a smile crossed his mouth. ‘Although I’m pretty certain you skipped the fitness components.’