Slouch Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide to Magic, #1)

‘Don’t worry,’ Winter said. ‘I know who this is.’

Puzzled and more than slightly wary, I followed him. From the other side of the front door there was a faint scratching sound. Brutus was now on full alert, the fur across his spine on end and his tail puffed up like an old-fashioned feather duster.

‘Winter,’ I cautioned.

He turned and grinned at me, his features suddenly boyish. ‘Don’t worry.’

I watched as he unbolted the door. Brutus scarpered to the other end of the small hallway, his claws scratching the wood floor in his haste, although he was obviously determined not to hide. A moment later, with a small kittenish meow, a white, long-haired Persian strolled in, head butting Winter’s legs and demanding attention. My mouth dropped open. ‘Is that…?’

‘My familiar.’

I scratched my head. ‘I thought you lived on the other side of town.’

‘She’s pretty smart. I called to her last night after you went to bed.’

This was some dedicated moggy. Despite her fluffy, delicate appearance, her temperament was clearly similar to Winter’s. She also had extraordinarily blue eyes to match his.

‘What’s her name?’ I asked, finding my voice.

‘Princess Parma Periwinkle.’

I tried very hard not to giggle. It didn’t work.

‘I’ve had her since I was ten,’ Winter informed me sniffily. ‘When my magic abilities first appeared. I was rebelling against my parents and I had a vivid imagination.’

‘Mmm.’ The fact that familiars live far longer than normal house cats means that their names are often amusing – but rarely on this scale.

Winter pointed at Brutus, who was still glaring suspiciously at the princess in question. ‘Like you can judge.’

True. ‘Is she here to stay?’ I enquired.

‘It makes sense. If I’m going to hang around here until this mess is sorted out, she should be here too. She can give Harold a break as well.’

‘Brutus and I are thrilled,’ I said drily. Actually, I was; it had been reassuring to know Winter was here all night. Plus, a problem shared was a problem halved and all that. The presence of Bell End and Alice in Eve’s flat bothered me less now that I wasn’t the only one who knew about them.

‘Anyway,’ Winter said, while Princess Parma Periwinkle made a move towards a very unhappy Brutus. ‘What were you going to say?’

My attention was momentarily diverted as I watched my cat decide what to do next. He threw me a look. ‘Bitch,’ he hissed. Then, seemingly without another thought, he flopped down on the floor and presented the new arrival with his belly.

Winter lifted an eyebrow. ‘You didn’t do that for me.’

Recovering slightly, I gazed at him mischievously. ‘I will if you want me to.’

Winter seemed on the verge of responding, his blue eyes darkening, then he shook himself. ‘We have work to do. There was something you were going to say.’

I took a deep breath. ‘Yes. But you’re not going to like it.’

His good humour vanished in an instant. ‘Go on.’

‘We can assume that the sceptre wasn’t the real target.’

‘Agreed.’

‘If we assume that you weren’t the target either but just a bonus side scheme for entertainment…’ Winter’s eyes flashed ‘…then there’s another motive behind all this.’

He smiled. ‘You see? You’ve been thinking about this all night, haven’t you? This is why this line of work is so satisfying. The more you chew over a problem, the more interesting it becomes. When a possible solution emerges, even if it’s at three o’clock in the morning, the feeling is like no other.’

I stared at him. I’d slept like a baby; the idea had come to me while I was brushing my teeth. ‘Yeah,’ I said unconvincingly. ‘Sure. Anyway, you’re the lead investigator when it comes to theft and missing objects. So if you’re out of the picture, the Order would have to scramble to find a replacement. Maybe the trap was simply to clear the field for more theft.’

‘You mean the sceptre was stolen in order to cover up something more valuable being stolen?’

‘Exactly.’

The colour drained from Winter’s face. ‘The wards,’ he said. ‘Maidmont and the other librarians were going to reset the wards across the whole building. Yesterday afternoon, while we were being half drowned in the sewer.’

‘Yeah. It would have been the perfect opportunity for a thief to steal something else from the library. The question is, what is more valuable than the sceptre and worth all this effort?’ I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear Winter confirm it. If it was true, then all hell might be about to break loose.

He clenched his fists. ‘The Cypher Manuscripts.’

I sighed. Arse. ‘Great minds think alike.’

***

Unfortunately, Winter didn’t pause to make me another coffee. He all but sprinted for the car. The only way I delayed him slightly was by reminding him that I needed to check on Harold, Alice and Bell End. All the same, he tapped his foot impatiently while I gave them food and water and a loo break then ensured everything was shipshape.

Princess Parma Periwinkle, whose name I was going to have to change soon because it was such a mouthful, nudged Harold with her little pink nose before settling into a comfortable spot in the corner to watch the trussed-up pair and let him have a break. Eve’s cat didn’t quite roll over the way Brutus had but it was a close-run thing.

When we eventually set off, Winter tossed me his phone and told me to get in touch with Arcane Branch so they could send someone round to keep an eye on Diall. I jabbed in the number and leant back, kicking off my shoes and propping my feet on his dashboard as I waited for someone to answer.

‘Ivy,’ Winter said stiffly. ‘Just because we have come to a truce after our shared near-death experience, that does not mean you can get away with whatever you want.’

I turned to him. ‘What do you mean?’

He gestured in irritation at my feet. I waggled my toes in return. Winter was not amused. Unless I almost drowned again, I reckoned I’d used up all his goodwill towards me. For the sake of a quiet life, I dropped my legs to the floor. We had more important things to worry about.

‘I’m sure you don’t permit your customers to treat your taxi like that,’ he said,

Actually, it was much better for me when my passengers were more relaxed. Before I could say as much to Winter, someone finally picked up the phone. ‘Arcane Branch, Practicus Smythe speaking. How may I help you?’

I put on my poshest voice. ‘Oh, good morning, Practicus Smythe. How charming to talk to you.’ Winter gave a long-suffering sigh. I ignored him. ‘I am here with the esteemed Adeptus Exemptus Raphael Winter.’

I could almost hear Smythe sitting bolt upright. ‘Winter?’ He coughed. ‘Yes, of course, what can I do for him?’

‘He would very much like it if you could send someone around tout suite to Adeptus Diall. He needs to be brought in for immediate questioning.’