“Need me to do anything else while I’m here? Start some laundry? Get out something for your lunch?”
“You’ve done so much already. I’m incredibly glad I got to take a shower without worrying about Sophie, and without carrying her.”
“Then I’m glad I stopped by.” She hesitated, then said abruptly, “I never gave you a chance to be my friend. I was jealous of your history with Aubrey.”
“Aubrey and I had decided to call it quits before he even asked you out on a date,” I began, not sure where this was heading.
She raised a hand to let me know she had more to say. “I’m sure he told you he couldn’t be a father,” she said, with startling frankness. “I know that’s probably what sparked his interest in me, since I already had a child young enough to really bond with him. I like to think that I earned his love and trust for myself.”
“Of course you did!” I said. “I can’t imagine Aubrey with anyone else.” Emily wasn’t through, though.
“I hope your marriage is as happy as ours,” she continued.
“We have every intention of making it that happy.” I managed to smile at her.
This conversation was puzzling. And tiring.
“You’ve known Robin for a while, I think?” Emily said.
“We’d dated before he went to California to work on the script. After he left, I met Martin and got married. And Robin had other relationships. But once we saw each other again, it just felt right.”
“Do you ever think about Martin?” Emily said.
That seemed to come out of the blue. “Yes, of course. You really can’t not-think about your first husband. Don’t you? Gosh, I don’t even know the name of your first…?”
“Connor,” she said. She took a deep breath. “I do think about him, but not happily. He hit me.”
I flinched. How could this woman, collected and Christian, have been subjected to such abuse? Not only was I angry on her behalf, I was a little dismayed to be the recipient of such a confidence.
“Why?” was all I could think of to say. “How could that happen?”
“Connor drank. When he was drinking, he was a horrible man. When he was sober, he was so sorry, always. He kept promising to change, to go into therapy. Especially after Liza came. But it would happen all over again. When he had the car accident, and they told me he was dead? The first feeling I had was relief.”
“That’s a horrible way to remember someone. I didn’t say that well. I mean that he made himself so mean and weak that he lost all the respect you had for him.” Now I understood Emily’s reserve. If someone you loved treated you that way, it would be hard to open up again.
“I kind of wondered,” Emily said, “if you had had the same experience?”
“No,” I said thankfully. “Martin didn’t drink much, and when he did, he got really affectionate.” I had to smile, a little. “Martin really wanted to make me happy by giving me things I’d like. He was thoughtful that way. He never raised a hand to me. I always felt…” I struggled to express it. “I felt he was wrapping me in cotton batting so I wouldn’t get broken.”
Emily nodded in understanding. “So he took almost too much care of you? You wondered if he thought you couldn’t take care of yourself?”
“Exactly,” I said, relieved. “I realize that I had it incredibly easy. He wanted me to be happy, and he wanted to be the one who made me happy. That’s impossible to complain about, in view of your experience. He understood so much about me. But I never felt I knew everything about him.”
And I hadn’t, for sure. Gunrunning, shady semiofficial ops … I felt sad all over again, remembering my growing sense of unease as Martin’s past began to unroll in front of me.
I had been head over heels in love with Martin from the moment I saw him. It had been a feverish, beautiful, terrible experience. I had no doubt he’d loved me, too. But there had been cracks in our marriage, issues we hadn’t had time to settle before he’d died.
Emily shook herself. I watched her straighten and stiffen, become the Emily I recognized. “I hope I didn’t impose on you. Today’s the day Connor died. It makes me feel better to talk about it. I almost never speak his name. It’s time to pick up Liza. I’d better go.”
“I appreciate your sharing your story with me.” And that was all I would ever say about her first husband, unless Emily brought it up. “Thanks so much for checking on me, and for being so helpful. You were a lifesaver.”
“You sure you don’t want me to fix you some lunch?”
“No, thanks. Oh, my gosh, you missed yours!” It was after one o’clock.
“I’ll be on my way to the store before swinging by the park. If you need me again, give me a call.”
“I’m grateful,” I said with absolute sincerity.
I heard the front door shut behind her.
I lay back in bed and made an incredulous face, though there was no one to see it. Truly, you couldn’t anticipate what was around the next corner … ever. The day before, I could not have imagined the conversation I’d just had, much less that I’d had it with Emily Scott.
I wiggled down in the bed, listening to Sophie’s regular breathing over the baby monitor. I checked the clock. Phillip should be home in an hour, give or take a few minutes.
I didn’t exactly go to sleep, but I lay curled up in a stupor, rising in and out of awareness. When I hit my next upswing, I had yet another surprise. My friend Angel Youngblood was standing by the bed. For a moment, I thought I was dreaming.
“Phillip let me in,” Angel said.
“Good.” I struggled to rouse myself.
“I heard you were sick. So I brought some soup and some bread.”
“Oh, thank you. That’s so nice! I’m really beholden.”
“Bullshit. Like you didn’t have a baby shower for me when I was expecting Lorna. Like you didn’t bring three meals’ worth of food to the house after I brought her home.”
I didn’t know what to say. That was what anyone would do. I was Angel’s friend. Besides, this relationship ran two ways. I could have one-upped her by reminding her how she and her husband, Shelby, had done everything for me when I’d had to get Martin’s body back to Lawrenceton, and people had been coming into town for the funeral, and my life had been chaos.
“Angel, I love you,” I said.
She smiled, a fleeting grin that made me happy, too. “I’m going to have a word with Phillip before I go home. Shelby’s watching Lorna. She’s a terror. Got him wrapped around her finger. Good-bye. Get better.” And she was gone, as abruptly as she’d appeared.
I heard her talking to Phillip. Angel was saying, “You make sure she takes some Tylenol every four hours.” But I drifted off to sleep again.