He says nothing, but I can see something subtle change in his face. I don’t know if it’s relief or comfort, but he doesn’t speak again until we park in a dark field in the middle of nowhere.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“Nowhere special. But we need to wait out the night at least. It probably won’t make a difference, but I’d rather be cautious.” His eyes flick to me, and I realize he only wants to be cautious for my sake. Jesse is not the cautious type, and I’m touched by how much he’s willing to act outside his normal impulses to keep me safe. He may just be doing his job, but part of me feels like it’s more than that.
Where are we going to sleep?” I ask, stepping out of the car and looking around. We’re parked at the bottom of a smooth slope of grass. There’s a chain-link fence at the top of the hill and a narrow dirt path winding its way up to where we’re parked, but our view is otherwise made up of rolling grass and a speckling of trees. It’s beautiful, and I can see so many stars in the sky that I find myself staring. I never find much reason to get away from the city, and it’s amazing how quickly I can forget what the sky looks like away from all the lights.
He gestures to the ground, smirking.
“It’s freezing out here,” I say, clutching my arms to my side.
“Here,” he says, sliding his jacket around my shoulders and rubbing some warmth into my arms.
I close my eyes, leaning into him. We sit silently for a while before I speak. “Don’t freak out…” I say carefully. Jesse tenses beside me. “But three men in goat masks talked to me when I was waiting in that coffee shop.”
“What did they do?” he growls.
“Nothing. It was strange. They just wanted to tell me something. They said someone I trust is feeding information to the people who want to hurt me.”
“Someone you trust?” he asks. “How long is that list?
“Not long. My stepfather, Kennedy… you.”
“Don’t tell them anything from now on. Not where we’re going, our plans. Nothing. Okay?”
I smirk. “So I should still trust you?”
“You can always trust me.”
I want to believe that. I really do. But the echo of his betrayal still haunts me. “I’m sorry I ran,” I say.
His hands pause for a moment before he starts to rub my arms again. He’s behind me and his hot breath tickles my ear as he speaks. “Me too.”
His tone tells me he doesn’t mean he’s sorry I ran. He’s sorry he ran… all those years ago. Tears well in my eyes. So what if he’s sorry? Does it change what he did? Yes. I already read his journal and I know he was only trying to protect me to begin with. Hearing him apologize melts away some of the last remnants of the anger I held toward him.
“What happens if you get involved with a client?” I ask, turning to face him.
He takes me in calmly with his eyes. “Bad things,” he says, voice full of hunger.
I put a hand on his broad chest, letting my fingers slide down slowly, tracing long, delicate lines on his skin. He sucks in a slow breath.
“Maybe I want you to do bad things to me,” I breathe.
His hands weave through my hair and his mouth crashes against mine. A roaring sound makes me jump back, looking to the sky in confusion and panic. He holds me tight as we watch the underbelly of a jumbo jet as it takes off from somewhere just on the other side of the hill. It crawls past our heads, impossibly slow for something so large.
“You brought us to an airport… like we used to.” I say
He smirks. “Call me sentimental.”
I bite my lip, kissing him again and pulling his shirt over his head. He lowers me softly to the grass, kissing my mouth and my neck, pulling my shirt up. I let him take it off me, lifting my shoulders to allow him to unhook my bra next. He props himself up on one arm, still kissing me greedily as he uses his free hand to unbutton my pants and start trying to push them down. I help him, lifting my ass and shimmying out of my pants and panties. He yanks his pants down and I catch a glimpse of his perfectly sculpted body cast in sharp relief by the moonlight.
I see his cock for a brief moment before he crushes his body into mine. I have a split second to marvel at how large it is. He kisses his way down my chest and finds my nipple, sucking and kissing every inch of me. I arch my back, already feeling a building of pressure between my legs. Being with him, knowing I’m not going to stop… I’ve anticipated it for so long. I’ve feared it and dreamed of it. Now it’s happening, and all I can do is brace myself.
I realize with a start that he’s going down on me. His beautiful features are poised over my belly, making me suck in a breath of surprise when he kisses the sensitive skin around my belly button and down the smooth shelf of flesh above my mound. His touch is electric. It’s fire and ice all mixed together as his hot mouth burns my skin and leaves echos of icy shock in its wake. My body is alive like I’ve never felt as each kiss sends jolts of pleasure pulsing through my body. I grip the grass tight, barely feeling the way it tickles my bare back, feeling like I need to grab onto something for fear of losing myself in this moment. I want to be here, to be present. I want to relish in every second of it because the thread connecting us is frighteningly strong, but the same power of attraction could repel us just as easily. It’s exhilarating and terrifying.
He’s about to reach my throbbing clitorus with his lips. He lingers, letting the heat of his mouth sink deep into the skin just above my valley. He pulls back and I suck in a breath, anticipating the explosion of pleasure when he finds my waiting heat, but he instead tortures me by kissing my thigh and using his hands to lift my leg so that he can reach all the sensitive skin on the inside of my leg. I press the back of my head into the ground, gritting my teeth. It feels so good. I lift my head to look down at him and feel a fresh surge of excitement. He’s holding my leg with one hand under my ankle and the other beneath my knee. His smoldering eyes regard me with a heart-stopping intensity as he kisses a path down the soft flesh of my leg.
My breathing comes in heaving gasps and I clench my teeth, feeling such a powerful need that I think it might actually tear me apart. When his lips finally press into my clit, a moan spills from my lips and I press myself back into him, squeezing my eyes shut, reeling from the intensity of it all.