I thought about Emma, wondering if she had taken off her sunflower necklace and noticed the ‘Made in China’ stamp on the back. I hung my head, hiding my smile. How I would have loved to have seen her expression as she realised she had been played. At least I’d managed to dump her before Christmas and spared myself the expense of another piece of tat.
‘All right, mate? Students been running you ragged?’ Sean Talbot’s heavy paw clamped down on to my shoulder, spilling my coffee on to my hand. I shook my fingers to disperse the droplets, shaking my head in mock protest. Now the second of my fellow teachers was here, the stage was set. I had deliberately robbed myself of sleep, and would put the dark circles under my eyes to good use. A few years older than me, Sean was a giant of a man. He was dark haired, often unshaven, but very popular with staff. I had made it my business to befriend him from the onset: donating spare concert tickets, buying him an extra round in the pub. It had been worth the cost of my generosity to keep my name clear.
‘Have you got five minutes to spare?’ I said, knowing their classes didn’t begin for another twenty.
‘Of course, luvvie,’ Lorraine said, wearing a concerned smile.
I got up and closed the staffroom door before sitting back down. ‘Only this is a delicate matter,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure how to handle it.’
‘Go on then, spill the beans,’ Sean said, loudly slurping his coffee.
‘It’s one of my students, she’s developed a bit of a crush on me.’ I exhaled, like a kettle too long on the boil, tensing my body for effect.
‘Let me guess, Vanessa Baker? The one that wears her skirt up to her backside?’ Sean said. ‘I think she fancies all her teachers, that one. You just have to be careful not to say anything that might be taken the wrong way.’
‘That’s just it,’ I said. ‘It’s not Vanessa. It’s Emma Hetherington, the last person you could accuse of being a flirt.’
‘Emma?’ Lorraine piped up. ‘She’s so quiet. What makes you think she’s got designs on you?’
I exhaled loudly, shaking my head. ‘I suppose I’ve only myself to blame. She’s a real talent. I was giving her some extra art lessons, but lately she can’t stay away.’
‘She’s had problems at home, poor girl. She’s been very isolated since her mother walked out on her. I’ve been trying to get her involved in some clubs after school but she acts as a carer to her father too,’ Lorraine said.
‘I know, she’s confided in me a lot. At first I thought I was helping, but now when I’m in town I see her everywhere I go.’
‘You don’t think she’s following you, do you? Maybe you should report it to the head.’
‘That’s the last thing I want to do. The poor girl’s just started coming out of her shell. From what she’s told me, she doesn’t have many friends in her life right now.’
‘Yes, mate, but you’re not her friend, you’re her teacher,’ Sean said. ‘You need to keep things on a professional level, otherwise you’ll come unstuck. The same thing happened to me last year. Remember Jenny?’ He turned to Lorraine and she responded with a knowing nod.
‘She found my mobile number,’ Sean said. ‘She started texting me after school. My girlfriend went ballistic, gave her a piece of her mind.’
‘What do you think I should do?’ I said. ‘I don’t want to go to the head with this, not yet.’
‘Put an end to those extra classes, at least until things cool down. Don’t leave yourself vulnerable. Keep the classroom door open during lunch, so if she wanders in, everything is open and above board. I’ll talk to her again, see if I can get her involved in some group activities.’
‘But if she starts stalking you or acting weird, you’re going to have to report it to the head,’ Sean interjected. ‘Don’t leave yourself open to allegations. Get there first, before she does.’
I nodded. He was voicing my thoughts. The part about Emma following me was a lie. But I had received three texts already this morning. She was too clingy for my liking, and not worth putting my job at risk for. It was time to nip this dalliance in the bud, before things got out of hand.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
ALEX
2017
If betrayal had a smell, it would be that of tar – the kind that sticks to your shoes in the heat of midsummer and bubbles like a living thing on the road. Emma and I had offered each other weary smiles as we pretended everything was all right. I had shrugged off her concerns that someone had invaded our home, tapping on the window while I was away. She must have imagined it. How could this be possible, when Luke had been in the pub with me that night? I felt sick at the thought – and at the prospect of what I was about to do. Involving our son in our troubles was the last thing I wanted, but I desperately needed to know the truth. Jamie squealed with delight as I lifted him in the air, pretending to drop him, only to take him in my arms again. I inhaled the scent of liquorice shoelaces on his breath, allowed only on the condition that he brush his teeth afterwards. Plopping him on our bathroom counter, I wore my best smile. I had locked the door. Emma would be horrified if she knew what I was about to do. But then how many times had she visited our little bathroom to force herself to vomit when she had eaten just minutes before? The scent of lemon bleach and floral air freshener gave her away every time. If only the rest of her secrets were as easily deciphered. Reaching across the counter, I carried out my own form of betrayal.
‘Ready to brush your teeth?’ I said, watching Jamie’s eyes roam to the DNA testing kit in my hands.
‘What’s that?’ he said, his childish lisp melting my heart.
‘It’s a special way of cleaning your teeth. First, you open up . . .’ I gently held his chin between my finger and thumb, dropping it open to insert the bud. ‘Then I give it a little wiggle like this.’ I moved the swab left to right as instructed. ‘Then, hey presto, you’re now ready to brush your teeth.’
Jamie’s tongue roamed over the inside of his gum where I had gathered his DNA. ‘But what was that, Daddy?’
Daddy. The word speared my heart. My smile wobbled and I fought to keep my tone bright. ‘It’s just to check that you’ve not eaten too many sweets. We’d better not tell Mummy, she might not let you have them again. What say you give your teeth a good brush now, have them all nice and clean?’
I set him down from the counter and ruffled his hair. Pocketing the kit, I had never felt so low. I said a silent prayer that it would give me the answers I wanted.
‘Smells nice,’ I said, inhaling the aroma of white wine sauce as I stepped into the kitchen. Pots and pans bubbled on the Aga, filling the room with steam. The extractor had packed up long ago, and I had not got round to fixing it. I opened the back door, allowing the breeze to sweep the steam outside.
Emma sniffed, tears streaking down her face. ‘Onions, they get me every time,’ she said, nodding towards the chopped pile. ‘It’s chicken, cauliflower cheese and some nice new potatoes.’ She rinsed her hands under the tap before drying them on a tea towel. ‘What are you looking for?’
I continued to rummage in the kitchen cabinet drawer. ‘Car keys. I swear I’ve just left them here.’
‘They’re on the hook in the hall. You’re not going out are you? Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes.’
‘I thought I could get us a nice bottle of wine to go with our meal,’ I said, blurting out the best excuse I could think of.
Emma closed the back door, rubbing her arms as the intrusive breeze plucked goosebumps on her skin. ‘I’ve got some, I was using it for the sauce.’
I glanced at the wine label. ‘I’m sure we can do better than that. I won’t be long. I promised Jamie I’d pick him up some ice cream.’
Emma raised an eyebrow. ‘Ice cream and sweets in one day?’
‘It’s OK, Mummy,’ Jamie piped up from where he was colouring at the table. ‘Daddy’s got a special way of checking my teeth.’
‘Oh yes?’ Emma raised an eyebrow in my direction. ‘A dentist now, are we? Is there anything you can’t do?’