I shook my head. It wasn’t, but I couldn’t say that while Aiden was stood right with us.
“Aiden, would you like a tea? When you were little, you used to come and stay with us, do you remember? You liked milky tea and strawberry jam on toast.”
Aiden just blinked.
“He’s not talking right now,” I said. “But keep talking to him, I think it helps. We’ve just come from Rough Valley. I’ve messed up, Jo.”
Josie sensed the mood, so she walked around the breakfast bar. “Aiden, I think I have a DVD of The Jungle Book. I know you’re all grown up now, but you loved that film whenever you stayed with us, remember? You’d sit with Uncle Hugh on the sofa and watch it together. Shall I put it on for you?”
“He’ll follow you,” I said. “He won’t respond, but he likes watching TV so that could help.”
When Josie came back she poured boiling water over the teabags. “What’s happened, Em?”
I traced the pattern of the marble with my finger. “He was kidnapped. Someone took my child, chained him up in a dungeon or something awful, and they did stuff…” I couldn’t say it.
Jo’s arms wrapped around my shoulders, holding me tight. When she sniffed loudly I could tell she was crying too.
“I can’t believe it.” She pulled away, dabbed her eyes with a tissue, and distributed the tea, made strong and brown: builder’s tea.
“There were reporters outside my home, waiting for me, filming my house. I have fifty missed calls, most of them from numbers I don’t even recognise. I haven’t called Jake back, or Rob, or Sonya. They’re all expecting me to know what to do. Aiden needs me to know what to do and I just lost it.”
“When, honey?”
I sniffed and tried to compose myself. Snivelling wasn’t going to help anyone. “No more than an hour ago. The police wanted to see if Aiden would walk through the woods and retrace his steps back to wherever he was kept, but I lost it. I tried to drag him into the woods, Jo. I physically grabbed him and tried to force him to do something he didn’t want to do. I’m as bad as the monster who took him.”
“No you are not.” Josie handed me a box of tissues and I wiped my eyes. “Don’t ever think that. Whoever did those things to him is a monster. They’re barely even human. Their brain is wired all wrong, Em. It’s not the same thing at all.”
Halfway through The Jungle Book, we stumbled out of the kitchen and into the living room where we watched Aiden watching the film. Josie nodded for me to sit down. Rather than sit right next to Aiden, I chose a spot in a comfy armchair just next to the sofa. Josie pulled a bean bag chair closer and sat next to me.
With her help I’d called Jake, Rob, and Sonya, and talked through the situation with the reporters with them. I’d listened to voicemails from DCI Stevenson warning me that the story was out, several reporters, a woman from a PR company, and Denise, our family liaison officer. The second cup of tea finally warmed up the chill I’d gained from standing out in the cold. I felt calmer. I was almost relaxed for the first time in days.
“How’s the baby?” Josie asked.
I stroked my pregnant belly. “She’s a wriggler. She’ll be playing for Arsenal as soon as she comes out.”
Josie laughed, and when I joined in, it felt good.
“How are things with Hugh?”
Josie tucked her legs underneath her body, and wrapped her hands around her mug. It was a small, insignificant movement, but it seemed to me that she was stalling answering the question. “Things are pretty much the same.”
“Ahh.” Josie and Hugh had been experiencing some marital problems over the last few years. While they’d been the epitome of a happy couple back when they first married seventeen years ago, that relationship that gradually disintegrated.
Josie was a little older than me. She married Hugh straight out of university in a fancy church ceremony. Hugh wasn’t from Bishoptown, but they’d decided to move here to start a family. Hugh’s family had been wealthy for generations. Josie’s family had made money running a successful chain of furniture shops. But Josie had been unable to conceive, and their large country pad echoed from emptiness. Hugh fell into a pattern of leaving Josie alone for long periods of time while he went to conferences and business trips in London, working in his brother’s corporate investment business.
“Except that every time he goes on a business trip, he contacts me less and less. He used to ring me twice a day, then it was once. Now I’m lucky if I hear from him after two or three days. He doesn’t even bother to call me when he arrives safely.”
“Do you call him?”
“I used to. But these days I don’t even feel the need to do that. It’s like I’ve stopped caring.”
“Jo…”
“I know. It’s awful.” She curled up on her bean bag, hugging her body tightly.