She's Not There

Becky nodded in her direction but said nothing. Even though the floppy hat and oversized dark glasses hid most of her sister-in-law’s face, Caroline could tell Becky had been crying. She’d seen enough of this face over the years to recognize the puffiness in her cheeks, the downward twist of her mouth that overrode her attempts to smile.

Clearly her brother and his wife had been fighting. Again. Caroline wondered what the fight was about this time, then pushed the thought out of her mind. Whatever it was, it was none of her business. And she was determined to enjoy her last day in paradise. Hunter had generously volunteered to look after Samantha so she could spend a few hours at the pool with her friends, unencumbered; Michelle had finally embraced kids’ camp, or at least had gone off this afternoon without the usual barrage of tears and protestations; she and Hunter had finally made love last night, albeit hurriedly and with a minimum of foreplay, before he’d passed out from too much sun and liquor.

Caroline looked toward the balcony of her suite as she removed her white lace cover-up, then lay back in her chair. She’d been hoping this holiday would reawaken the easy passion she and Hunter had once shared. But Hunter was preoccupied with work; she was preoccupied with the children; their friends were always around. The reality was that she and Hunter had spent very little time alone together this week. Not exactly the romantic getaway she’d been hoping for.

“Ooh, interesting bathing suit you have on,” Rain said, adjusting the top of the tiny hot-pink bikini she was spilling out of. “Very retro.”

Caroline glanced down at her black-and-white one-piece swimsuit and smiled. She didn’t know Rain all that well, so she was never quite sure how to take such compliments: Love that just-got-out-of-bed look you’ve got going on with your hair. Look at you with those wide pants—so brave of you to buck the trends. Wish I could wear such a big print—you flat-chested girls have it so easy. She looked around the crowded pool. “Where are the guys?”

“Golf,” Rain said.

“One of the few activities your mother deemed safe enough for her precious son,” Becky said, then looked away, so as not to invite comment.

You can’t let her get to you, Caroline wanted to tell her sister-in-law, but stopped when she realized she’d been telling her that for years. Telling herself that ever since she could remember. But it was a losing battle. Her mother was a force of nature. There was no getting away.

“Excuse me,” Rain called, beckoning a young, dark-haired waiter toward them. “Who wants a gin and tonic?” she asked the others.

“Sounds good,” Peggy said.

“Count me in,” Becky agreed.

“I’ll have a Coke,” Caroline said.

“You will absolutely not have a Coke,” Rain said. “It’s our last day. I forbid it. Four gin and tonics, por favor. This one’s on me, ladies.”

Minutes later, they were leaning back in their chairs, sipping their drinks. “So, what’s everyone up to when we return to civilization?” Rain asked.

“Back to work,” Peggy said. Peggy worked at San Diego General Hospital.

“Don’t know how you do it,” Rain said. “Dealing with sick people all day. Doesn’t it get to you?”

“Well, I don’t actually deal with patients. I’m in administration.”

“What about you?” Rain asked, swiveling toward Becky. “Ready to resume the job hunt?”

Caroline held her breath as Becky’s shoulders stiffened. Steve had let slip that Becky had recently been fired from her job as an accounts manager for a local ad agency after a major client bolted to the competition, a fact that Becky had been hoping to keep under wraps until she found a new position. Of course, Caroline already knew about it; her mother had called with the news as soon as Steve confided it.

“This might be a good time to concentrate on getting pregnant,” Mary had told her daughter-in-law, as if the reason she and Steve hadn’t conceived was Becky’s lack of concentration.

“At least you don’t have to worry about money,” Rain said. “Jerrod tells me that Steve is doing verrrry well these days.”

“We’re managing,” Becky said. She downed what was left in her glass and signaled the waiter for a refill. “Who’s joining me?”

“I’m game,” Rain said.

“What the hell. Why not?” Peggy agreed.

“Only if it’s my turn to treat,” Caroline said, still nursing the drink in her hand. She’d never been much of a drinker, especially in the afternoon. Still, it was their last day in Rosarito, for once she didn’t have a child hanging on her arm or a baby balanced on her hip, and she didn’t want to be perceived as a stick-in-the-mud. She was still one of the girls. She still knew how to have fun.

She was more than just a mother.

“I guess it’s just more of the same for you,” Rain said to Caroline, as if she’d sneaked a peek into her brain.

“Sorry? More of the same?”

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