The doors of the bus hiss open, and I look up from the book I’m reading. My down time since Emma left sucks, and I’m trying to fill it with something to broaden my horizons. As such, I’m just starting one of her books she left behind called Marley & Me. It’s about a dog and that’s all I know, although Emma told me it should give me greater understanding into Sirius and his puppy antics.
My gaze goes briefly to the big, furry dog lying on my feet at the end of the couch, and I begrudgingly admit he’s growing on me even though he ate the corner of the bedroom mattress yesterday.
I tilt my head far to the left to look over my shoulder and see Tyler coming onto the bus. My body immediately goes tense with unease, and I hate that I fucking feel this way in his presence now. Our conversations are fairly limited, usually before each show, but otherwise we stay out of each other’s way, communicating by text if necessary. Emma’s been gone two days and this is the first time I’ve seen him.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying to force civility into my tone. I think I manage it because Tyler gives me a hesitant smile.
“Got time to talk?” he asks, pausing just at the top of the stairs.
“Sure,” I say as I draw my legs out from under Sirius, who gives a grunt and doesn’t even wake up. I swing them to the side and sit upright on the couch, giving a nod to one of the leather swivels across from me.
Turning the book upside to save my place, I watch as Tyler takes a seat. He leans back, puts an ankle on his knees, and drums his fingers nervously on the leather wrapped armrests.
“How’s Emma’s dad?” he asks, and I’m slightly surprised by the genuine tone in his question. Usually any question or comment about Emma is short and clipped.
“He’s doing very well,” I tell him. “Got out of the hospital yesterday and is taking a week or so off from work, but he’s expected to be just fine.”
Tyler nods. “That’s good. I’m glad.”
There’s a bit of an awkward silence, and we just stare at each other. Tyler fidgets under my gaze for a moment, then seems to gather some courage. He wraps his fingers around the edges of the armrests and pulls himself up into an upright position. Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees and looks me right in the eye, a move that indicates this is a serious conversation.
I brace.
“We need to clear the air,” he says simply, and I tense even further. “And in order to do that, I think I need to give you an apology.”
A jolt of surprise causes me to sit up a little straighter. “Apology?”
“Yeah,” he says, his gaze absolutely unwavering. “I’ve obviously come on too strong about the Phoenix deal, and because I was so focused on it and excited, I think I may have taken out my aggressions on Emma. So I need to apologize to you about that, and of course, to Emma when she comes back. She is coming back, right?”
I nod, still a little off kilter by this abrupt turnabout in Tyler’s attitude. “Yeah… once she feels her dad’s okay enough to be by himself.”
I smile inside at that little joke, because her dad is not by himself. He’s got both Midge and Emma hovering over him, and I bet he’s eating that shit up.
Tyler leans backward, rubs his hand over his jaw. “While the apologies are well warranted, I did want to talk a little bit more about the Phoenix deal.”
And just like that, I tense back up. Not because I think Tyler has a nefarious intent at this point, as he does seem genuinely remorseful, but because deep down into my soul, I don’t think I really want to sign with a label right now. Still, I think I need to give him this opportunity since he’s coming at me in the correct way right now.
“Alright,” I say with a forced smile. “Let’s talk.”
“I think perhaps I forgot to remember what’s important to you on a personal level,” Tyler begins right away, and instantly some of the anxiety making my chest tight lessens. “I still believe the Phoenix deal is a good move for you, but maybe if we can come at it from the angle of what can we do to make it better on a personal level, maybe we can find some middle ground.”
I wasn’t sure about that, because my understanding is that these contracts are pretty stringent and not overly negotiable. Still, I need to give this some mature thought with Tyler, who seems to be in a more objective frame of mind at this point.
So I try to make this as clear to my friend and manager as I possibly can, and hope to fuck he can really understand it. “Tyler… not everyone who gets that first taste of fame and fortune craves more. Sure, I suppose most people always want to succeed and get better and bigger at what they do, but not everyone feels that way.”