His voice was sincere, and the look in his eyes was so apologetic that it cut right to her heart.
“That’s not too sexist of a remark, is it?” She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away. He moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing them so close she could practically taste the mint on his breath.
“Don’t you see? That’s what I was trying to say to Sky. Not that you were slutty, but, Lizzie, you have to know that there’s shit all over message boards on the Internet about the Naked Baker and what guys want to do to her. And how am I supposed to feel about that? They say all this sex stuff, and I can’t pound the shit out of them because they’re hiding behind electronics. They’re anonymous trolls.”
“Anonymous trolls who are paying for Maddy’s college—and who paid for mine and for my flower shop. I don’t read that stuff. I made a decision when I first started this that I would never read any of that because it’s too upsetting.”
“Right. Exactly.”
“So? Can’t you just not read it?” She knew by the look in his eyes that it wasn’t even a fair question to ask.
“Seriously? It wouldn’t change the fact that I know what they’re saying. Anonymous or not. Just tell me this. Do you still want to be with me?” The hope and love in his eyes washed over her like a caress, drawing the truth she didn’t want to hold back.
“More than anything.” She breathed deeply, trying to get ahold of her emotions.
“Baby, then we’ll figure this out together. This all scares the crap out of me. I wish I could just tell you it’s sexy as hell and watch you tape your shows, and go on with life as it was. And I’m trying. Lord knows, I’m trying to get past my own issues. If this is what you want to do, then maybe we can come to a compromise that we both can live with, because I know I don’t want to live without you.”
“I can’t really compromise with Maddy’s future, and I’m not going to let you pay for her college.”
He laughed. “You saw me going there, huh?”
“Weren’t you?”
He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Babe, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, but if I’ve learned one thing in the time we’ve spent together, it’s that you have too much pride for me to step in and take over. This is your thing, your commitment. I just want to find a way to make it something we can both live with, and maybe that makes me selfish for not just accepting it for what it is, but my heart is too wrapped up in you to just blindly accept seeing you put yourself in a position where other people can write unsavory things about you.”
“I know. I get it, but I don’t know what the answer is.”
“I honestly don’t either. Maybe if I make sure I’m not around when you’re filming the shows. I can always set up an electric shock on my laptop to zap me when I try to surf the message boards to see what’s being written about you. Cash’s fiancée’s brother, Dex, is a computer guy. I bet he can rig something up.” The tease in his smile warmed her heart.
“Aw, you’d shock yourself for me? Now, that’s true love.” Lizzie bit her lower lip, mustering up the courage to tell him the rest of her news, so they would have no more secrets between them. “There’s more.”
“More?”
“Yes. My father isn’t speaking to me, and my mother is doing I have no idea what.” She tried to stave off tears at the realization of her father turning his back on her.
“My father said I’m not the girl he raised, like I’m some kind of delinquent.” She drew in a deep breath as Blue gathered her in his arms, holding her tight. “At least my mother ate dinner with us, even though she was clearly upset. But my dad…”
“It’s going to be okay. He’s your father and he’s a man, so you have a double whammy, but you also have the bonus of unconditional love on your side. He’ll come around.”
She scoffed. “I don’t think my father knows what unconditional love is.” She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “He wouldn’t even look at me.”
Blue’s eyes filled with remorse. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have said any of those things about not telling your family. I’m so sorry, Lizzie. I wish I could take it back.”
“No. I’m still glad you said what you did. It’s hard to live a secret life, and even though this is hard right now, it somehow also feels a little better. At least Maddy doesn’t hate me for it. For a minute I thought I was going to lose everyone.” She drew in a sharp breath and blew it out slowly. “I have other news, but I don’t know if it’s good or not.”
“Lay it on me, because at this point, there isn’t much that we can’t handle.”
“The Food Channel Network wants to talk to me about the possibility of making the webcast into a cable show.” She bit her lower lip to keep pride from slipping out in a smile.