His brows knitted together in confusion.
“I made a commitment to her education, and that’s a commitment I won’t back down from. It’s only two more years, which I know must feel like a lifetime to you.” Needing the connection and for him to realize how strongly she meant what she was about to say, she pressed her hand to his chest, surprised to feel how fast his heart was beating. “When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, you realize that two years will go fast. I still can’t believe that you had been asking me out for a year before I finally came to my senses. A year went quickly, Blue, didn’t it?” Please say yes. Please, please say yes.
“That was the longest year of my life,” he answered with a hint of exasperation and a smile. “You infiltrated my dreams and lingered in my mind every minute of every day. Two years is a damn long time. This is all new for me, so I don’t really know what I’m dealing with, but I know what I want, Lizzie, and I want to be with you.”
She held her breath for a but…
He swallowed hard, sending his Adam’s apple bouncing up his neck. “I saw you taping last night. I only watched for a minute, but—”
“You watched me?” Oh God. That’s the kiss of death.
“I couldn’t help it. I was getting ready to leave and I heard you talking, and…I’m sorry. I went down and watched from the stairs for just a few minutes.” He reached up and touched her cheek. “But what I saw was a woman who was acting, not my Lizzie. On some level I’ve understood that the whole time, but on a deeper, more intimate level, there was still a twinge of something gnawing at me.”
She dropped her gaze, unable to take much more. She was already standing on a precipice and was afraid that one strong gust of wind would send her over the edge.
He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. “I realized that I haven’t felt the claws of jealousy for so long, I didn’t recognize them.”
She fisted her hands in his shirt, stifling a laugh of relief, because it would be wrong to laugh at something like this, but she’d been so scared about what he might say that laughing was about all she could manage.
“Jealousy? Over guys I don’t know or care about?”
“What can I say? I’m jealous over my girl.” His lips quirked up, and in that split second, the tide changed between them. “When I first started working at your house, I was your friend, but I was hoping to become more. And every note, every sugary treat, every flash of your adorable dimples, made me want to cross that line even more. And then suddenly, there you were, and you were mine. And I was the happiest man on earth. Then I found out that while you were mine, you were seducing other guys with the same sugary treats and seductive voice. I’m not judging you. This part isn’t about you. It’s about me. I can’t help it if I’m jealous, and I admit it. I am as jealous as the day is long.”
“No, I guess you can’t help it.” She was still clinging to his shirt, trying to remain stable on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. As relieved as she was, and as much as she knew they needed to talk this out even more, she was painfully aware of the time and of her impending confession to Maddy and her parents hovering over her, making her even more anxious.
“I have to go get Maddy, but we both need to be sure about all of this. I know two years is a long time in your eyes, but I’ve been doing this for so long that I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that when I get there, you’ll be waiting for me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
MADDY HADN’T STOPPED chatting since they left the university grounds, and Lizzie couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She hardly had the heart to interrupt her sister’s rant about the trials and tribulations of college life; after all, she agreed with them.
“I mean really, Lizzie. Where do these guys get off thinking that just because a girl goes to a party that she wants to get laid? I like parties, but that doesn’t mean I’m there looking for a guy to sleep with.” Maddy shoved a Twizzler into her mouth and pushed her long, honey-colored hair from her shoulders. “All I want is to get my education, have fun with my girlfriends, and maybe meet a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to sex in general, but…Are there nice guys out there? Are there guys who aren’t busy drinking and fucking every girl in sight?”
Lizzie laughed, but inside she was thinking, Yeah, there are. And I hope I haven’t lost the best of them.