“You all right?” she asks.
Her green eyes glimmer in the moonlight. I step closer because I need to kiss her. I have to feel her mouth on mine, reminding me that she’s fucking here. She’s here and not some crazy dream I’ve been imagining. I keep moving until there’s no distance between us. When her breath hitches, I step back. “Shit.” I close my eyes and look away.
“Hey.” Her hand presses against my arm. “What’s wrong?”
I don’t want to admit this crap to her. She doesn’t need to know how the inkling that she’s willing to give us a chance, makes me this happy. Because if there’s any hope for us left in her heart, I’m going to find it and hold on for dear life. Presley is mine. Always has been. Always will be. I’ll make damn sure of that.
“I was going to kiss you,” I confess. It’s true, and it’s the only part of my thoughts I’m willing to part with.
“Why did you stop?”
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
This girl. I can’t figure her out, which was never an issue. I used to be able to see into her mind no matter how hard she fought against it.
She looks away. “I don’t know . . . what are we doing?”
“Let’s call it dating.”
“Dating?”
“Yeah, that thing where the guy tries to get the girl to see how perfect he is—which you already know partially. This is like dating with knowing we already match.”
She shakes her head with a smile. “You know we’re different people now, Zach.”
“Yes. It’s why I stopped myself.” Even though I wanted to claim her again, I want to be the last man that has a part of her.
It’s barbaric, I can comprehend this. But the idea of anyone else’s hands on her body makes me want to beat the shit out of something.
Presley walks forward and places her hand on my cheek. I freeze, allowing her to set the pace. It takes every ounce of restraint I have not to pull her into my arms. Years I’ve waited for this. I haven’t been the same since she walked out of my life, or I guess, since I walked out of hers.
“Sometimes when I look at you, I’m a kid again. It’s like our first kiss or the first time I ever knew what it was like to be held by you. I was so sure that we’d always be together.” Presley’s eyes close, and I tug her toward me. Her head rests on my chest and my heart aches. I did this to her. “I don’t want it to feel this good, Zach.”
“What do you mean?”
Her head lifts and she stares into my eyes. “It scares me how easy it is to be with you. How it feels like the world is righted again. Like this was how it was supposed to be, yet that makes no sense. Considering how things fell apart, it shouldn’t be this . . . effortless.”
She’s right on a few things, but I don’t think this is effortless. This is painstakingly difficult. My head knows we’re not the same kids, but my heart doesn’t. It only knows that it’s beating again. “This isn’t easy, darlin’. This is hard as all hell. I’m conflicted too, but right now, holding you, is what I want. I’m not trying to jump ten steps ahead. I’m trying to live in the moment.”
I look in her big beautiful eyes and get lost. I can’t remember the last time I felt this calm. She’s the air I breathe, and I hope to God she doesn’t make me suffocate again.
“Okay. Live in the moment.”
I snort. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been able to not think ten steps ahead.”
She smiles and nods. “I know. But I’m going to try.”
She’s always had her plans. Her goals were mapped out since we were kids. It was annoying as hell, but she needed that stability. My brothers and I did everything we could to make her loosen up. And when she did . . . it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Presley without inhibitions was intoxicating.
Her hands hold my head to hers. I battle my wants and try to remember that she’s still figuring out what she’s feeling. I ball my fists behind her back so I don’t take control, and then I feel her breath on my lips. “In the moment,” she whispers before her mouth mashes against mine.
I hold her back, pressing her against me. Her lips move with mine, and it’s fucking surreal. She’s been the one thing that got away, but I’m holding her now. There’s no chance I’m going to let this end. I’ll give her anything she wants if it means I have a chance at redemption.
For years I’ve told myself I’m better off. I’ve lied to everyone, saying that Presley and I were too young and didn’t love each other enough. That was never the truth for me. I loved her too much. I loved her enough for the both of us, but I never showed her—even though I thought I did.
She shifts back.
“We’re going to make this work,” I state. There’s no room for discussion.
“I sure hope so, Cowboy.”
I lean back with a huge grin. She used to call me that when she was in the mood. “Cowboy, huh?”