Logan runs off, completely forgetting about the iPad issue. Zach’s entire demeanor shifts. His eyes fill with some emotion I can’t place. “Logan?”
“Yeah? And his twin brother is Cayden.” I have no clue where he’s going with this.
“You named your son Logan?” He moves around the room, stopping and then starting again.
“Zach?”
He takes two steps, and his body is almost touching mine. I stop breathing from his proximity, and that light-headed feeling floods back. His hand lifts and drops before he touches me. “I need to leave.”
I muster all the strength I have. “You always do.”
The hurt flashes in his eyes, but he recovers quickly. “I’m not the same man I was then. I wasn’t even a man. I was twenty-two years old with a lot of dreams.” Zach steps back and I can breathe again.
I get that we were kids. Deep down I’m fully aware I’m being unjust. Zach was offered the chance of a lifetime. He took it. But in the wake of that decision, I was left to pick up the pieces. Alone in a town away from my family, with a broken promise, and a lot of heartache. When he followed his dream, he annihilated mine of a life together.
“I know, and if it weren’t for those choices, I wouldn’t have the life I do now.”
As I say the words, I’m unsure if I’m happy about that or angry again. Funny how there can be so many meanings to one sentence.
“I’m sorry you lost your husband. I truly am.”
“I’m glad you found Felicia,” I reply. I’m completely full of shit. Of all the people in the world, she’s the worst of them. Right now, I don’t want anything from him but for him to leave me the hell alone.
I’m barely holding on. Being around him like this . . . hurts. I miss him. I’ve missed him for so long. Yes, I loved my husband very much. Yes, my life was fine without Zach. But Zach knew me without having to say a word.
There were never questions about what was wrong. He just knew. And God how I miss that level of friendship. Even after a decade of being with Todd, he never had that with me. It was different.
Zach steps closer, and I retreat. His proximity isn’t a good thing. “I’m not going to hurt you, Presley.”
But like old times, his blue eyes tell me he doesn’t know if he can keep that promise. He’s testing me. Testing himself. We both feel the electricity between us. It was there long ago, and it apparently hasn’t ebbed at all. His body moves with ease toward me. My heart races and I’m sure he can see my breathing quicken. “Zach,” I say as a plea.
“I just want to get this part over,” he explains.
Slowly his hands extend toward my arms. As soon as his skin touches mine, a tear falls. I swallow a whimper as his fingers clasp my shoulders. It’s an innocent touch, but it ruins me. Zach doesn’t stop though. He pulls me into his body. He breaks me apart. He puts me together. He’s my poison and my antidote. My arms wrap around his torso without hesitation. We remain like this for who knows how long, but for the first time since Todd killed himself, I feel safe.
And that’s not a good thing to feel in Zach’s arms.
“I KNOW,” I SAY TO Angie while trying to clean the boys’ rooms. “I miss you too.”
It’s been hard going from seeing her every day to this. She has no idea what hearing her voice does to me. Part of me wants to smile and be happy to talk to her. I miss her terribly. The other part of me wants to curl up and cry.
“I can’t believe this is the first time we’re talking. I knew you’d be busy, but I figured you’d call a few times.” Her wounded tone tells me everything.
I sit on the edge of the bed, feeling deflated. “I’m sorry.” I won’t lie to her and tell her some bullshit excuse, which she’d let me use.
“I get it, Pres, but you’re missed here.” Her voice cracks. I’m not the only one who had their life flipped upside down. Angie lost her brother, and then me and the kids. “When do you think you’ll come home?”
I don’t think she fully understands. The credit card bills and the equity line he took out, and all of it with my name as a co-signer. I either file for bankruptcy, which I want to avoid at all costs, or I live here and pay the payment plans they’ve allowed me.
A tear falls as I wrestle with the truth. “I don’t know. Short of winning the lottery, it’s going to be a while.”
“This is such bullshit. You know that, right?” She pauses and then begins her own tirade. “You shouldn’t have to be punished because of him. He did all this. He opened new credit cards. Not you. It’s ridiculous and unfair. So now you and the kids had to move, sell your part of the bakery, and work for your parents? You didn’t do this, so why the hell do you have to pay it back?”
My anger builds as I listen to her. I grip the shirt in my hand and rage consumes me. “Because he was a fucking coward! He did this to us! You want the answer? It lies at Todd’s feet.”