Backing away from the bed, I catch her dad’s eyes on me. He grits his too white teeth together, and says, “Look what you’ve done to her. Are you happy now?”
I stop and strike him with my own glare. “She was pregnant.” Her mother gasps, her hand covering her mouth. “With my baby, but she lost it. Whoever did this to her killed my baby.” I walk to the doorway, but stop before leaving to ask, “Are you happy now?”
This time I don’t stop by the nurses station as I walk out. This time I keep walking until I’m standing on the sidewalk. I go to the corner of the building and lean against the bricks. Sliding my back down, my ass lands hard on the concrete. I bring my knees up and drop my head down.
Ambulance sirens whistle through the air, car horns sound in the distance. The air is humid, thick, sticking to my skin. This time the tears come, and I don’t fight them. “Fuck.”
My life was so wrapped up in her well-being that I lost who I was along the way. Even with her absence the last couple months, I didn’t move on. I didn’t need to. I knew she’d come back to me . . .
“How long are you going to let her stay away?”
I tap the baseball in my hand twice before rounding my arm overhead and throwing it to Cruise. “I don’t own her. She could be gone for good for all I know.”
Cruise catches the ball but throws a verbal curveball my way. “Jason says she seems content.”
My defenses go up. That some stranger seems to know what’s going on with my girl more than I do stings. I used to think it was best she was gone. I found pride in it, but after seeing her a few weeks back, I’m not sure she will come back. “What does he know about her anyway?”
He throws the ball back. I catch it in my glove and throw it right back to him. He catches the ball but shakes his hand. “Touch a nerve there, King?”
“Fuck you. Sara Jane’s her own person. She’s the only one who gets to decide where she goes. If that’s here, I’ll fucking rejoice. If it’s not—” I catch his lame throw.
“You’ll go to her. You’ve always been weak to that pus—” With all my strength I throw the ball. It slams into his chest and he keels over in pain, his breath knocked from him. When he looks up, he yells, “What the fuck, Alex?”
Storming across the grass I shove him to the ground. “You want a fight? You’ve got one.”
But he doesn’t get up. The anger in his eyes doesn’t match his gaping mouth. I finally take a breath, calming, and offer him a hand up. He’s been good to me. He’s been by my side without question for years. I can let this slide. One time. “Don’t ever refer to her as less than my fucking everything.”
Pushing up on the ground, he snubs my offer. He dusts his saggy-jeaned ass off and says, “You’ve changed because of her, man.”
. . . It’s true. I have. I just never considered it a bad thing.
6
Alexander
“Kingwood.”
I look up and find Langley standing a few feet away. Fuck. I get up, keeping my back to him and wipe my eyes covertly. Shrugging at my shirt to straighten it, I ask, “What do you want?”
“I come in peace.”
“No cop comes in peace these days.”
“We’re not all bad.”
Looking around the corner, I ask, “Speaking of corrupt, where’s your partner?”
With a chuckle, he replies, “I didn’t say corrupt.”
“I did.”
“You have a lot of reasons to hate the world. You’ve gone through a lot in the last four years, but not everything has to end with you behind bars.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I smirk. “Who says I’ll end up behind bars?”
“I do if you stay on the path you’re on.”
“And what path is that?”
“A destructive one. Help your wife recover and give us a chance to do our jobs.”
“Like you did with my mother’s murder?” My jaw tics, an ache in my chest replaces the heartbeats I’ve grown accustomed to since Sara Jane came out of surgery.
“I wasn’t on that case. I am on this one though. Help us. Don’t hinder us. It will only be bad for you.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No. I want you to know that despite Officer Brown’s behavior earlier, we’re working to solve this case, and we intend to find who did this to her.”
I shift. I want to trust him. Langley has the kind of face a mom makes spaghetti dinner for on Sunday night. He probably coaches T-ball on the weekends. “Let me ask you something. If I had a different last name, do you think this would have happened to her?”
“Truthfully?”
“Yep.”
“What happened to your wife wasn’t an accident. We both know that, but you can’t run off looking for revenge, or you’re going to fuck up this investigation.”
The way his dark eyes look at me, his pupils scanning for the answers to unasked questions, he knows more than he’s letting on. I’m not offering anything though. “I’m buried in Kingwood Enterprises paperwork. If you haven’t heard, my father blew his brains out at the holiday party. Left me with a shitload of decisions and even more problems to handle, including his fucking body, or what remained of it.”
“You weren’t close.”
“He tried—” I almost took the bait, but he’s not my friend. He doesn’t have my back. Langley’s badge alone excludes him from open dialogue that leads to personal business being shared. “I should go back in.”
Walking behind me, he says, “Despite what you think, we’re on the same side.”
I could argue that with a million points, but I don’t bother and keep walking. Grabbing a coffee on the way, I return to Sara Jane’s side. Her remarks earlier cut deep, but not deep enough to keep me away.
She’s hurting.
So am I.
She’s in pain.
So am I.
She’ll need time.
I don’t have that luxury.
Sitting back in the chair, I watch her until I become tired. I’m beyond tired. Tired of the day-to-day shit I’m dealing with. Tired of feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. My beautiful firefly. I’m so tired of feeling alone. I rest my head on the bed, needing to be closer than the hospital allows, and close my eyes.
*
The leaves rustle and the birds sing. It’s as if the whole world got the memo that it would be a perfect spring day. I almost fell asleep under the large tree, the solitude of the park giving us some much-needed time alone. I could listen to Firefly talk all day. Her voice is comforting, so I close my eyes while resting my head on her lap. She says, “I used to dream of being a princess locked away in a castle. Then one day, I would be rescued by my one true love, and we would ride off into the sunset.” Her fingers fall away from my hair where she’d been rubbing soothing circles. I open my eyes to see her above me staring out across the nearby lake. “I just never thought . . .”
When she pauses, I ask, “Never thought what?”