"I shouldn’t," I strangled out, forcing my body remain rigid and not fold into her like a huge part of me wanted to.
"And yet you still do," she whispered, knotting her fingers in my hair. "And what's more is that I matter to you, too." She smiled. "And it scares the hell out of you."
"You don't mean shit to me," I desperately tried to convince the both of us, as my chest heaved. "I don’t care about you, Molloy. I never have and I never will."
"You're a terrible liar," was all she replied before crushing her lips to mine.
My words were swallowed up when she pressed her lips to mine, and I didn’t even try to resist her this time. I couldn’t if I wanted to.
She ran her hands through my hair, and I was thoroughly fucked.
She gently held on to my hips, drawing me closer, as her tongue slid into my mouth.
She was just so fucking sexy.
My hands shot out of their own accord, cupping her rosy cheeks, as I kissed her back with a tenderness that I didn’t know I possessed.
No one had ever touched me with this level of affection before.
I could feel how much Molloy cared, it was emanating from her lips, and that made me want to do better, be better, straighten my shit out and be the fella she deserved.
“You need to run.”
She shook her head. “I don’t run.”
“Run,” I desperately urged. “Run, Molloy.”
“I’m staying right here,” she whispered. “With you.”
“Molloy.”
“I know who you are,” she whispered against my lips, taking the lead when I physically couldn’t in the moment.
I wasn’t seeing straight, couldn’t fucking think straight, as a concoction of God only knew what floated through my veins, and yet there she was, crystal clear in front of me, making the rest of the haze, of the whole fucking world, just fade away.
“The quintessential lost boy.” Her lips grazed mine as she spoke. “Don’t worry, Peter Pan, I’ll be your Wendy.”
I kissed her.
Shouldn’t have done it, knew it was a terrible fucking idea, but still, that didn’t stop me. Knowing how jinxed I was couldn’t change my mind anymore, either.
I was just too fucking weak to resist the girl a second longer.
Shivering against my will, I let her control me, gave her the power to hurt me worse than my family ever could.
When she kissed me like that, I couldn’t take the vulnerable way it exposed me. Like a sheep baring its neck to a wolf, I went willingly, giving it all up to her, knowing that she could hurt me beyond repair.
Oh Jesus.
It was bad.
It was dangerous.
I was the very worst person a girl like her could get tangled up with, and still, she clung to me like I hung the goddamn moon.
I needed to stop it.
And I would.
As soon I summoned up enough willpower to stop kissing her.
That might take a while, the beating muscle in my chest warned.
THE ONE WORD GAME
FEBRUARY 20TH 2004
AOIFE
“Then.”
“He.”
“Teased.”
I clutched the pillow beneath my head and whispered, “Her.”
“Clit.”
My legs shook violently. “With.”
“His.”
“Oh my god.”
“Tongue, Molloy.” Joey’s head poked up from beneath my duvet. “He teased her clit with his tongue.”
“Oh my god, you can’t just stop like that!” I groaned, reaching a hand between my legs to fist his hair. “Get back down there, dammit.”
He laughed softly and then my eyes rolled back when I felt his lips back there, his tongue snaking out to taste and tease me in ways I never knew a tongue could make a girl feel.
“I’m, uh…” Hips jerking violently, I felt my toes curl up to the point of pain, as white-hot flashes of heat pulsed through me. “Oh shit, Joe.”
“Ride it out, Molloy,” he coaxed, using his fingers and tongue to touch me in ways that made my body burn and my back arch off the mattress. “Fuck my tongue, baby.”
Baby.
Oh Jesus…
Clenching my eyes shut, I did exactly that.
SPECIAL_IMAGE-images/svgimg0003.svg-REPLACE_ME
“You’re sort of a babe, Joey Lynch,” I teased a little while later, as I watched him climb out of my bed and slip on his grey school trousers. “Has anyone ever told you that?”
“It’s definitely a first for me.”
Yeah, me too.
“You’re staring,” he pointed out in his gruff tone, as he shrugged on his now rumpled shirt. “What’s up?”
I arched a brow. “So?”
“More than normal,” he replied, focusing on re-buttoning his shirt – and stealing from me the glorious image of his bare chest. “Let’s have it.”
I shook my head. “I’m just thinking.”
His gaze flicked to mine. “Sounds dangerous.”
You’re dangerous.
“Nothing.” I flopped back on my bed and sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”
Releasing a low growl, he closed the space between us. “When a girl says it’s nothing, it’s never nothing.” Sinking down on the edge of my bed, he rested his hands on either side of me and leaned in close. “So, I’ll ask again; what’s up, Molloy?”
“I’m just thinking about Paul,” I admitted with a sigh.
“Nice,” he deadpanned. “How’s that going for you?”
“Not like that,” I grumbled, slapping his arm. “I’m thinking about something he said.”
“What did he say?”
“He warned me that you would have me on my back with your dick inside me within a week.” Pulling myself up on one elbow, I used the other to gesture to my very naked body beneath the covers. “Um, hello?”
Joey smirked.
“It’s not funny, Joe,” I huffed. “He said that you would sack me off once you’ve had your fill of me, and not even the nuns in the convent would take me in.”
He threw his head back and laughed.
“Gee, thanks for the reassurance,” I grumbled, flopping back down. “I feel so much better now, while I lay naked in a puddle of cum.”
“The nuns in the convent wouldn’t take you whether I was on the scene or not,” Joey laughed, peeling my hands away from my burning face. “Remember Jesus is always watching, Molloy. He sees what you do to yourself with those fingers when you’re alone at night.”
“Oh, fuck off, you turncoat,” I grumbled. “I told you that in confidence.”
“And I’m so grateful you did,” he shot back. “The visual keeps me company when I’m alone with my hands at night.”
“Okay, that’s kind of hot,” I admitted, grinning wolfishly up at him.
“Listen, you need to relax and put that prick’s bullshit predictions out of your head,” he said then. “Because that’s all they are, bullshit.”
“Yeah?” I blew out a breath. “Really?”
“Really,” he agreed, leaning close to press a hot kiss to my mouth. “Besides, it took me three weeks to get you naked, not one like he predicted.” Winking, he added, “and it’s my fingers and tongue I’ve been putting inside you, not my dick, so that just shows what lover boy knows.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Joey.”
“I better get going,” he laughed, clearly unsympathetic to my cause. “Before your father gets suspicious and starts wondering why I’ve been late for work every evening this week.”
I smiled sweetly up at him. “Tell my dad that you prefer servicing his daughter than the cars in his garage.”
“Yeah, because that would go down well.” Frowning, he added, “I’ve never done that before, you know? Skipped work or been late for a girl. You’re becoming a real bad habit, Molloy, and a bad influence, with it.”
“Coming from the boy who can scale the side of a two-story house better than a cat,” I called out, watching as he tossed both his hurley and helmet out of my bedroom window and onto the shed roof below, before tossing his schoolbag with them.
“Don’t be joining any convents on me now, ya hear?” Joey said, swinging his leg over the ledge. “Contrary to your ex’s predictions, I’m not quite ready to sack you off yet.”
“Ha-ha-ha,” I deadpanned. “Funny.”
“I’ll be seeing ya, Molloy,” he added with a cheeky wink.
And then he was gone.
HONOR RESTORED
FEBRUARY 23RD 2004
AOIFE
Late Monday night, when I had bored myself to tears with homework, I decided to change it up by going downstairs and annoying my parents.