“Fuck. I knew that piece of shit in my office was working for Lawson. Where are you?”
“Doesn’t matter, Hughes. She’s here and I need to get lost. I’m heading to the Army Navy store to get the gear I need to survive. If I see her, I’m going to kill her and I can’t do that if I’m carrying your buddy’s badge. I need to ditch it someplace safe until you can retrieve it. I’m going hunting.”
“No, Tucker, you need to get on the train and head north to Boston. You’ll meet Ryley, Rask, and Archer there.”
“Why?”
“I found her, McCoy.”
“ARE YOU READY?” I yell up the stairs to Ray and Chloe; both of them are taking their own sweet time getting ready. “We’re going to be late.”
Ray appears first, followed by Chloe. They both come thundering down the stairs. Ray pulls up short and kisses me on the lips before brushing past me.
“I’m not kissing you,” Chloe remarks with a smart little roll of her eyes. I remember when I was her age; my mother would tell me she’s going to slap my eyes straight if they kept rolling like that. I can’t say that to Chloe, though. For one Ray wouldn’t like it, and secondly, it would make Chloe cry. I’ve coddled her so much since we left California and I can’t bear to see her cry.
“I didn’t want you to kiss me anyway,” I say, walking past her and sticking my tongue out. It only takes a few seconds for her to start chasing after me to give me a kiss, but it’s the hug that follows which means more than she’ll ever know.
After my email from Buzz, I decided that telling Ray could wait. When I changed my name I chose something so common that it’d be hard to trace. The money I put into the bank is cash that I mail in. Once a month I travel to the bigger city and mail it. If it’s being traced now, after six years, then so be it. But I will not strike fear in my husband’s life about someone that may or may not be coming to get me.
If I told Ray now, he’d worry and he’d fuss over me. I can’t have that. He’d want me to quit my job and I need to stay busy. My mind has to have something to do so I’m not constantly worrying, although despite my best endeavors, that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I feel like everyone who comes into the store is staring at me. The cracks are starting to show, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my lies straight. Yesterday, before I went to work I had to remind myself what my name was, where I’m from, and that Chloe doesn’t have a biological father. They’re all lies that I’ve told people in town so that when someone does come looking for Penelope McCoy, people won’t know who they’re talking about.
“Are you going to put a coat on?” Ray asks, shaking me out of my thoughts.
I smile softly at him and grab my coat before following him outside. This afternoon we’re heading to the Village Green for the winter flea market, arts festival, and snow-sculpting contest. I’m not a big fan of the cold, but Chloe has fun at it and Ray has a duty to make appearances at the town gatherings.
“Mom, did you know they had to bring trucks of snow in for this?”
“Yes, I saw them yesterday dumping it all. Then the drivers came in for lunch.”
“One of these years I’m going to enter,” Ray says as I look at him sideways. He’s never sculpted anything in his life.
“Well I’m sure we’ll get plenty of snow this year for you to practice.” I pat his hand with mine as he navigates down the road. We don’t live very far from the Green and probably should’ve walked.
The Green is bustling with people, a lot of them I don’t recognize, which is a good thing. Tonight at the store, Laura is working and I told her if she needs me to let me know. I’ll happily step out of the cold and into the store for warmth. But she won’t call. I know she overheard Ray saying how much he was looking forward to tonight.
Ray parks and we get out linking hands as a family. There’s live music coming from the gazebo and a few people are dancing.
“Are there fireworks tonight?” Ray asks. I nod, remembering the flyer that hangs in the store stating as such.
As soon as we hit the Green, Chloe runs off to find her friends. My heart races, knowing she won’t be next to me, but I can’t let my fear get in the way of her having a healthy and fun relationship with her peers.
Ray pulls me through the crowd and onto the makeshift dance floor, spinning me around before setting us right into a dance. The band playing has a pretty good following and you can tell a lot of their fans are here, singing right along with the lead singer.
Once our dance is over, Ray takes me by the hand, still dancing as we move toward the front of the market area. Each booth we stop at turns into a chat session, and it takes us about twenty minutes before we’re moving on to the next.
“Oh taste this.” I hold up a cracker with maple honey mustard for Ray to take.