“Fuck!”
Dropping his phone to the island, he let out a long breath as he rubbed his eyes, asking God what the hell he should do. This made no sense. It didn’t seem right, and he couldn’t even think of what he had done. He had been gone, so he knew that he didn’t leave the toilet seat up or use her toothpaste. He had only talked to her, and he had been checking that whore Nikky Jiggler’s site, and nothing. What in the world could be going on?
When he opened his eyes, he looked down, thinking maybe he could get Jace’s number from Jayden and call him, but something caught his eye. The paperwork from court with Mark Sinclair’s business card stapled to the top.
Could this have to do with Rick?
Turning the folder so he could see the number, he dialed Mark’s number, but he didn’t answer. Setting his phone down, he figured he’d try again tomorrow since it was almost midnight. He needed to go to bed. This had been his roughest Assassins road trip to date. He was aching everywhere from the hard-fought games against the Bruins, Islanders, Devils, and Rangers. They had won two of the four, but he was exhausted. Plus, he was worried, feeling like everything was just falling apart. He knew sleep wouldn’t come easy.
When his phone sounded, he looked down to see a text from Lucy.
Lucy: I’m going to kill you for calling my mom.
Benji: I’m desperate. Talk to me.
Lucy: I can’t. Not yet.
Benji: What the hell does that even mean?
He waited, but nothing came. Not even a little text bubble that signaled she was writing him back.
Nothing.
Complete silence.
The only sound he could hear was his heart breaking.
Benji didn’t fall asleep until six a.m. He had watched his phone until it died and then as it charged, until he finally fell asleep. He felt pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he was losing everything with no clue as to why. He was pissed. So damn pissed at Lucy for doing this. He didn’t understand what she was holding back. What she was hiding and why? Didn’t she understand that he loved her unconditionally and he was going to support her no matter what?
What in the world had her running like this? Hiding?
The only thing he could come up with was fucking Rick.
Rick had done something, and it was taking everything out of Benji not to find that bastard and kill him. He considered driving to his house, but then he didn’t know where the asshole lived. He also didn’t have his number, so he was stuck. As he stared up at the spinning ceiling fan, he couldn’t take the coldness that he felt. The way the house felt empty without them. How he had no clue what the hell to do. He was a fixer, he was a doer, but at that moment, he felt like a loser. With no clue how to rectify that.
As much as he wanted to believe she would come home and they would be okay, he knew they wouldn’t. Not after all this. No, she wanted to break up with him. She just couldn’t do it. While that should have pleased him, it just broke him more.
What in the world had he done? Or what had happened to make her want to leave him? To take away her love and Angie’s? It was unfair, and in a way, he was convinced it was fucking payback for Ava and Leary. It had to be. Why else would he feel like this? Feel like he wanted to down a whole bottle of vodka and just die. Never in his twelve years of sobriety had he truly wanted a drink, but he could use one now.
But even he knew that nothing would dull the pain inside of him.
No, only Lucy could make it better.
Rolling over, he brought her pillow into his arms, nuzzling his nose into it, hoping to get a whiff of her. Taking in a long pull, her flowery scent intoxicated him and everything hurt.
Why couldn’t she just talk to him?
When his phone rang, he scrambled to get to it, almost falling off the bed before getting his phone in his hand.
But he didn’t recognize the number.
Hopeful, though, he answered. “Hello?”
“Hey, this is Mark Sinclair. This number called me last night.”
“Yes!” Benji said, sitting up. “This is Benji. Benji Paxton, Lucy’s boyfriend.”
Or was he?
The thought made his whole body ache.
“Hey, Benji, what’s up?”
“Um, well, funny you should ask,” he said, exhaling hard. “Lucy left for Florida—without me—and I really don’t know what’s going on. And I was wondering, hoping, actually, maybe you knew something about this.”
Mark paused, and Benji could hear him clicking his pen against something. “I’m sorry, what do you mean, left? I thought you all were going.”
“Yeah, I did too, but she called saying she needed time to think. Whatever the hell that means.”
Mark made a disgruntled noise and muttered, “Fool woman.”
Benji panicked. “Listen, I know you don’t owe me anything, that you don’t have to tell me anything. But, if I’m losing my family, I need to know. I need to fix it. Save this before I can’t.”
Mark chuckled. “Boy, you love those girls.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. Both of them.”