“Lucy, babe, what’s going on?”
As the tears rushed down her face, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She had every intention of breaking up with him, but she just couldn’t. She loved him so damn much, and she just couldn’t bring herself to break his heart and annihilate hers. Losing Benji would destroy her. But what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t let Rick do this to him. To his career. Maybe if she told Rick Benji wasn’t in the picture, he would stop all this and be gone.
But wouldn’t that let him win?
What other choice did she have?
God, she just needed to fucking think!
Clearing her throat, she held in her sob as she said, “I need some time.”
“Time?”
“Yeah, to think.”
“Um. Okay? I don’t understand. What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filling with nervousness. She hated to worry him, but she knew him. He wouldn’t let her go if he knew the truth. “You’re worrying me here, Lucy. What’s going on?”
“I’m going to go to Florida with Angie, alone,” she said then. It suddenly seemed like a genius idea. She’d go, clear her head, figure it out, come back, and let Benji go. Then she’d fight Rick by herself. The thought sucked and it hurt, but she had no choice. She loved Benji way too much to put him through that shitshow. She didn’t care how much he said he would stand by her. No one deserved that.
She wouldn’t do that to him.
“What? Why?”
“’Cause I need time to think.”
“About?”
“Us.”
“Us?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“’Cause.” She paused. “I just do.”
“No, what the fuck is going on, Lucy? Tell me,” he said roughly. “Can’t you wait till I get there?”
“No, we are flying out early,” she said then, even though it was a lie. “I need to clear my head, and I need to do it alone.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time, and each second that passed, her heart broke even more. “I feel like you’re breaking up with me.”
“No,” she tried, but it sounded more like a sob. “I just need to think.”
“I don’t understand the needing to think thing. We were fine four fucking hours ago when I talked to you. What the hell is going on? I have a right to know,” he said, his voice full of panic. “You know what? Stop, just stop. I’ll be home in a couple hours and we’ll talk.”
But she knew she couldn’t do this face-to-face. She couldn’t walk away, and she knew she’d let him talk her into letting him go through what Rick was about to do. No, she couldn’t do that to him. It wasn’t fair.
Life wasn’t fucking fair.
Nothing ever was.
She had everything she ever wanted, and just like that, it was about to be ruined.
But that was her life.
She’d always said, if she didn’t have bad luck, she’d have none at all.
Such bullshit.
“I can’t. I already paid, and Jace and Avery are expecting us.”
“What? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, and she came undone, holding the phone from her face as she cried into her legs, her body shaking with the pain. “I mean, I know I’m a little dense sometimes, but I thought we were good. Are you still mad about the bank thing?”
“No, I just need to go.”
“Without me?”
Her lips quivered as she shook her head. But she said, “Yes. Just me and Angie. I need to focus on us for a few days.”
She heard his voice break and everything inside of her went dead. What was she doing? How could she do this? But, how could she not? Breaking his heart was one thing—he could come back from that. But ruining his career, his name… That wasn’t something he could come back from. She had to do this. “So you are breaking up with me.” He said it so calmly, so painfully that Lucy was speechless. “Just tell me the truth. Is that your intention?”
“No, that’s not what I want.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I want time. I need to think.”
“And you can’t tell me about what?”
“No, I need time.”
He growled, but it wasn’t out of malice, it was in complete frustration. “I have no clue what to do here.”
“Let me go for the rest of the week. To think.”
“No,” he roared, and her tears came faster down her face. “I won’t let you just go and be fine with it. I’m fucking pissed. My chest hurts and I’m scared when you come back, it will be to pack up your shit. So, no, I won’t just let you go. I’m going to ask questions. I’m going to try to figure this out. Shit, I might still fly down there to talk to you if you don’t give me something to work with here.”
She should have known he would. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Do you love me?”
“Of course, I fucking love you, Lucy. What kind of question is that? Is that what the problem is? Baby, I love you,” he stressed and she bit into her lip so hard it hurt. “I love you so damn much, and I swear, I’m here for the long haul. What the hell is going on?”
“I love you,” she said. “So please, let me go. Let me think.”
Sounds of frustration met her as he said, “Do I have a choice here?”