AT NIGHT, EM thought of Cas.
And also in the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. But especially at night.
Two days had passed since their escape. Em watched as the sun disappeared completely behind the trees and the world fell into darkness. They’d been walking since early that morning, and her feet ached as she slid down a tree trunk.
The jungle was noisy around her, even though everyone in their party was quiet and on constant alert. The jungle was an absolute gift—loud and crowded, with chirping bugs and squawking birds competing for space with vines, trees, and leaves as big as her face. The forests of Vallos and Ruina were different. Quiet, sparse, harder to hide in.
Iria passed her a small piece of dried meat, and she took it with a soft “Thank you.”
She tore off a piece of meat with her teeth, looking down at the mess that used to be her dress. The blue fabric was now completely brown at the hem, and smudges of dirt dotted the skirt. There was even a smear of blood, from where she’d caught the sharp edge of a tree branch on her arm and wiped it on her skirt.
She’d fashioned a belt out of a vine and stuck her sword through it, and she found herself always watching the warriors’ movements, waiting to see if they were still partners now that they were safely away from the Lera castle. Two warriors against one tired, useless Ruined. Not her best odds.
“Who’s taking first watch?” Koldo asked, planting his hands on his hips as he surveyed the jungle.
“I will,” Em said, even though she was exhausted. She didn’t want to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Cas’s face. When she drifted off for even a few minutes, the guilty ache in her chest would jerk her awake, and everything she’d done would come rushing back.
“You barely slept at all last night,” Iria said.
Em shrugged, dropping her gaze to the ground.
“Koldo, you want to refill the canteens?” Iria asked.
“Sure,” Koldo said, taking the hint and disappearing in the direction of a nearby stream.
Iria watched him go, the sound of his footsteps fading into the distance. “I know that you developed feelings for Cas and it’s eating you up that he’s going to die, but don’t lose sight of why you did this,” she said quietly. “Your people were headed for extinction, and you’re the only one who stepped in to do something about it. You did what you had to do.”
“I did what I chose to do.”
“You chose right.”
“Yes, you did,” a voice said.
Iria scrambled to her feet, pulling out her sword. Aren stepped out from behind a tree, hands raised in surrender. Em jumped up and threw her arms around him.
Iria let out a relieved sigh. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
Em grasped both his arms. “Are you injured? Did the Lera soldiers hunt you down?”
He smirked. “They tried.” He glanced around. “No horses? Are we traveling all the way to Vallos on foot?”
“Warriors will meet us with horses day after tomorrow,” Iria said. “If all is going well, they should be launching their attack right about now.” She looked up at the sky. “We’ve traveled too far to hear it, unfortunately.”
Em’s stomach dropped into her feet. Was Cas already dead? Would he be able to escape?
She rubbed her fingers across her forehead, the guilt burning so intensely in her chest it took her breath away. This had always been the plan. If the warriors didn’t attack, then she’d have no hope of rescuing Olivia. They’d be completely outnumbered when they arrived at the Vallos Mountains. She’d known this was how her time at the castle would end.
Still, she felt like curling into a ball and screaming.
Aren nudged her arm. “Iria’s right about sleeping, Em. I could use some sleep as well. I covered your tracks as best as I could as I followed you, but I’m sure we’ll still encounter some Lera soldiers soon. We need to be prepared.”
“I’ll keep watch,” Iria said.
Em’s shoulders slumped in defeat as she let Aren tug her down to the ground. He put an arm around her, leaning back against the tree.
“Thanks for finding me,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Thanks for not getting killed,” he whispered, squeezing her arm. “That would have really put a damper on my day.”
Her lips twitched up as she let her eyes drift closed.
TWENTY-SIX
CAS LURCHED FORWARD as the wagon stopped. A few of the people around him stirred, waking from sleep. Beside him, Daniela arched her back, wincing as she rubbed a wrinkled hand across her eyes. They’d been crammed in the closed wooden wagon all night, and it was incredible that some of them were able to sleep. He wasn’t sure he’d ever sleep again.
It was dim inside the wagon, only wisps of sunlight leaking in through the cracks in the wood. It was almost unbearably hot inside, and Cas’s clothes were stuck to his body.