The days slipped by me far too fast and I started to wonder if I could handle letting Noelle go home. Every time I thought about it my chest started to ache.
There was just no way I could let her go back to living with Viviana. It would be like me signing her death certificate, and there wasn’t a chance in the world that I was going to do something as stupid as that.
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why her mother didn’t try to contact her yet. Why she didn’t try to come out here and get her? She had to know that she left to see me. The fact that she didn’t call or try on her proved exactly what I already knew. Her mother didn’t give a shit about her.
I was going back to school next week, and I didn’t know if I could handle wondering if she was okay every day. The anxiety of it all would probably kill me.
“I spoke with your father on the phone last night.” My mother said in passing as I headed toward my bedroom where Noelle was taking a nap.
“He called you?” I stopped dead in my tracks, whirling around and walking back out to the kitchen to finish this conversation. I had to know what was said between the two of them, they hadn’t talked in years aside from anything but me.
“Yes he did. It turns out he cares about his stepdaughter’s safety more than her own mother does.” A frown formed on her face as she spoke.
“He wanted to fly out and check on her but I insisted that everything was okay, that I was taking care of her, and had the situation under control.”
“Is it okay? I mean, what’s going to happen with her? I can’t send her back there, Mom. You have no idea the kind of woman Viviana is and what she did to Noelle.” My heart was beating out of my chest as I spoke. Panic was a very real emotion right this second. It was wrapping around my throat and threatening to suffocate me.
“Honestly, I don’t know, Royal. Everything is kind of up in the air right now. Mark is legally Noelle’s parent so he has just as much of say in the matter as her mother does. Right now, anything could happen.” She left the sentence open ended as if to say, are you going to ask her to stay? I wanted to, but I also didn’t want her to feel like she had to make a choice between her mother and me. I might have hated Viviana, but I could never expect Noelle too. That was her mother, and blood is always thicker than water.
“I want to ask her to stay, but I feel like it might be too soon. I can’t have her thinking I want her here just to get back at her mom. I despise her mother, but I know that Noelle doesn’t. Not truly. I love Noelle, and I’ll respect whatever decision she makes, even if it feels like a dagger is splintering through my chest as I watch her leave.” I didn’t mean to let the last part slip out. I was just under so much pressure, after just having found about Viviana, my mother and father, and then taking Noelle and claiming her as my own; everything seemed to be taking a toll on me. Still I wanted to take things as slowly as possible for Noelle and I. I wanted what I never had with anyone else with her.
“I’m proud of you.” My mother shattered the silence with her words. I looked up at her with a puzzled expression.
“Proud of me? I went from punching walls to punching walls just a little less; that’s really nothing to be proud of.” The comment reminded me of the fact that I never had the chance to pound that Gabriel kid’s face into the concrete.
“I’m proud of you because you’re placing your feelings and wants to the back of your mind and allowing Noelle to make a decision all on her own, even though that decision could hurt you.” The awestruck look needed to go away, and go away fast. I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t claim to be, but I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to try and be a better man for Noelle.
We had a lifetime ahead of us, and starting off shitty wasn’t where I wanted to be when I was with her.
“It’s about being a good person for the ones you love,” I quoted my mother. It was something she said to me all the time growing up. When I was being naughty in the grocery store, or punching holes in the walls. I never understood it until Noelle weaseled her way into my life and into my heart. She shined the sun into the darkest places of my mind, making it easier to see things for what they were.
“I see you listened to at least one thing I said to you while I struggled to raise your stubborn butt.” She rolled her eyes at me, laughter spilling from her mouth. Life was hard on her; the stress of dealing with me put a toll on both of us. I wasn’t a good person most days, but I was trying to be better, trying to do the right thing.
“I listened to what I wanted to hear.” I turned back around ready to go and tell Noelle that Mark called but stopped as my eyes landed on a pair of beautiful hazel-colored ones.