“Do you remember what happened to you? Why you’re here?” I asked for no other reason than to see what she knew, to see if she had any clue as to what happened earlier that night.
“No, not really. I just remember going out with Jordan. I wanted to forget everything that happened with my mom and the rejection I felt after what we did. One minute I was drinking, having a good time and the next you and I were talking and I started feeling really weird. Like I needed to rest and then I woke up here, with you.” There was a small smile on her face when she mentioned me, which made me feel good until the guilt started creeping its ugly head in.
I was partly to blame for this, just like Viviana claimed. I felt like a class A dick for making her feel as if I had rejected her. That was never my intention. I just wanted to protect her from myself until I could calm down, until I could rein in the darker parts of me. I fucked up royally. I was a royal prick.
“Noelle, I’m so sorry for making you feel like I was rejecting you, baby. I just needed to calm down. Telling me just how pure you were got me way too excited. I just needed to clear my head before I could taint your precious body any more than I already had.” I spoke softly hoping that my words could soothe her, and bring some type of comfort to her emotions.
Her eyes started to drift closed again. I understood why she was so tired. She needed to heal, and they said rest was the best kind of medicine. The drugs that she was given caused an allergic reaction that almost stopped her breathing. If I wasn’t with her, who knows what would have happened to her.
I needed to give Noelle some time to heal and get better. I also needed to take some time to realize just how badly my words hurt her.
“Don’t worry about a thing; you just sleep. baby.” I spoke the words against her skin, as I placed a kiss against each eyelid. Noelle had me like no one else ever had. I would do anything to protect her. To keep her safe.
As soon as I knew she was in a deep sleep, I slipped from the room and headed out of the hospital. I had a couple of phone calls I had to make. I wanted to stay here with Noelle, but I wasn’t sure I could handle spending the next six months being around Viviana. She was already under my skin, and the fact that she was the reason for my miserable upbringing and everything that occurred with Noelle today didn’t make it better. I needed to distance myself from her before I did something that could land me in jail.
I pulled my cell out of my back pocket and hit my mom’s contact, listening to the phone ringing on the other end. Two rings later and she finally answered. I had no idea what time it was but I hoped she wasn’t asleep or at work.
“Hi, sweetie!” She sounded happy to hear from me. Guess there was a first time for everything.
“Hi, Mom!” My voice went flat. I didn’t want to bring up what I was about to, but I needed to let her know that I knew.
“Is everything okay? You sound upset.” I could see her now, pacing the floor, wondering if I had gotten into another fight or did something else that would get me into trouble.
“I’m fine. Perfect actually, I just need to ask you something, and then I need to make a choice.” I was more so saying what I needed to do out loud instead of just explaining what I wanted to.
“Okay…” She trailed off, hesitation laced her voice.
“You knew this whole time and you didn’t tell me.” I left the comment open ended. I knew she would understand what I meant. There was a moment of silence before she started to speak.
“I didn’t think that it was something that would change things. You can’t dwell on the past, Royal. What your father and I had was amazing, but there wasn’t anything that could be done once Viviana became involved. I didn’t send you there to get involved in all of it, I sent you there because you needed a better relationship with your father.” She sighed.
“Well you got what you wanted there. I get him more than I ever did before, and I hate him less which I guess is a good thing. However, now that hate has shifted to Viviana, and I’m so angry, Mom…” I was gritting my teeth, and gripping my phone without meaning to. I took a deep breath so I could finish my sentence.
“I hate her, Mom! I hate her for hurting you, and for hurting me. I hate her for forcing my father to be married to her. I can’t stand her and because of that I think it would be best for everyone if I were to come home. If I don’t I’ll end up doing something I will one day regret.” As I spoke the words out loud, my chest constricted. Was this me walking away from Noelle?