I sensed the second he realized it’s a lost cause. He sighed and went around the car, opening his door and getting into the driver’s seat. I could tell he wanted to say something or ask me more questions, but he didn’t, which was a smart choice on his part because I wasn’t in the mood for fucking father son time.
I stared at the back of the headrest in front of me with a slow simmering anger. All the things I have wanted to say to this man— this stranger— and here he is right in front of me and I can’t manage to muster up one sentence. Not one that really matters. My fists could say far more than my mouth ever would.
“Is that how you got the shiner above your eye? Putting kids in the hospital?” Mark asked, hinting at the fighting conversation again. I cracked my knuckles and took in a deep breath, feeling as if there was barely enough oxygen in the car. The space was too confined to be having this conversation.
“You should see the other guy. Both eyes swollen shut, a broken nose, and busted up teeth. Don’t fuck with me or what’s mine without the intention of getting fucked up,” I commented, then went back to ignoring him. I still watched him out of the corner of my eye though. I could see where I got my eyes and handsome features, or so my mom calls them from. We share the same shade of blue colored eyes, and our jaws are shaped the same. We share the same body size and shape. Toned, athletic, and muscular.
“What’s yours? I wasn’t aware a seventeen-year-old could have possessions?” he laughed, and it’s a warm laughter, the kind that should make someone feel comfortable, but to me it’s just mocking and crude. It didn’t work on me. It just made me angrier. I sat in silence, knowing that the months ahead of me were going to be very quiet and lonely ones. I wanted nothing to do with this pathetic excuse of a man, nor did I want to try and fit into his picture perfect family.
“You eventually have to talk, Royal. I mean you’re going to be here for an awfully long time. Remaining silent is going to be kind of hard with a stepsister like Noelle, and well me as your father. I have so much I want to explain to you. Things that need to be said when the time is right and you’re ready of course.” He sounded so excited, so happy. My mind caught on the word stepsister. Sibling. My blood boils at the thought. It didn’t sit well with me, not at all. In fact, it hit the bottom of my stomach and echoed back up into my throat. I could feel the hate for her already forming and my hate for him increasing. It’s like a thick black fog that I couldn’t rid myself of.
I didn’t need anyone else in my life to hate, especially not some little sister that wants to tag along at every turn.
“Everything you want to talk about is in the past, Mark, meaning nothing you tell me now could change what has already taken place. Nor will anything that happened make up for the fact that you’re a shitty excuse for a father.” I said his first name instead of Dad, just to remind him that I would never see him as my father.
He would never be a parent to me, not after everything that had happened. We settled into a deep silence, the low hum of the car radio being the only thing that could be heard. I took the quiet time for what it’s worth and feasted my eyes on the tiny little buildings outside my window. It’s a small town, kind of quaint and dainty, but at least it had a small grocery store. I continued to stare off in my own little realm, my anger festering as I began to notice just how large the houses were getting as we headed out of town and into the countryside. Of course my mom wouldn’t tell me my father was apparently filthy rich. If she did, I wouldn’t be sitting in this car right now.
We took a right pulling into a driveway that seemed like it’s over a mile long. I could see the house in the distance, it’s like a small spec on a road map. It’s a two story house, with a giant ass yard, green grass surrounding the entire estate. White siding covered the outside of the house and the shutters were painted a dark green color. I took it all in as well as the three-car garage attached to the house.
My hate rose with each elaborate thing I had to see. Every foot that the car rolled closer to the massive house mad me more resentful.
“This is what you spent the last seventeen fucking years doing? Creating an empire of shit you don’t need while my mother and I struggled to get by? Here you are with this big ass house and fancy fucking cars, and then there is my mom over there busting her ass working two fucking jobs just trying to make ends meet and put food on our table.” I wasn’t even trying to hide my dismay. I was sick to my stomach with hate.