Lita’s body went still as death beneath him. This was it. Finally over. Four years of trying to be someone she could count on, someone she could feel safe with against all odds, and he’d ruined everything. Even though that had been his goal, the reality was like razor blades—
She began to struggle, hips jerking in an obvious attempt to buck him off. James’s head flew up, horror puncturing his sternum. Oh God, but there was more. More. An urge to pin down her writhing form that swarmed his head, buzzing like a colony of bees. His girl wanted to be free of him? Wanted other men to call her pet names? Didn’t she know his sanity would bleed out through his ears?
Get off her. You have to get off.
Lita’s knee came up and dug into his ribs, making him grunt. Why were her eyes closed? If she would just look at him—what? Would he reassure her as always? No, it would be false. This was the man she’d been sharing oxygen with, and it was time she knew. He’d been picturing this scene since day one. Seal the deal.
James released her covered mouth, wincing when her breath emerged labored, her hands flying to his shoulders, fingers digging in hard. “James, please.”
“Did you think I was being noble? Simply giving your body a chance to mature?” He pinned her flailing wrists on either side of her hips, trailing rough kisses between her breasts, down her stomach to end at her mound. His hungry lips hovered there a moment to pay homage, to warm the sacred flesh with a release of breath. “Jesus, Lita. When we met, you barely looked old enough to have your driver’s license. And still—still—I did those bad things to you in the dark. Didn’t I?”
Above him, Lita whimpered. Again, she attempted to free herself, but he held fast. “Wait, I…I—”
“You should have known back then I was an indecent man.” He licked her * through the white cotton panties, groaning when his cock throbbed. Inflicting pain on himself, he licked Lita’s covered perfection again and again, like she was a fucking ice cream cone. Dragging himself away from her taste made him crazed. Mine. It tastes like mine. “All this time, you’ve treated me like a protector.” He pushed her thighs open. “But I was the one you should have been afraid of.”
“N-no, I’m not.”
Liar. Her quavering voice was a dead giveaway. That was her stubbornness talking, her inability to lose a battle. Finish it. James widened his jaw and dropped his teeth down over her *, covering as much as his mouth would allow. Which due to her petite body was—fucking hell—all of it. He didn’t bite right away, wanting to feel her reaction. Wanting to feel her realization of James is going to bite me between my legs. Her limbs were shaking in his hands, tiny gasps sparking in the air around them. In degrees, he closed his teeth, tighter and tighter until she screamed.
“James!”
At the desire brought flooding forth by Lita’s panicked cry, shame rocked him. Hard. What am I doing? What am I doing to this incredible girl? She’d trusted him. She’d let him be a part of her life. He’d caged her brilliance and since walking into this room, he’d dragged her into his twisted mind, kicking and—screaming.
James was off the bed and across the room in seconds. “I’m sorry. Goddammit.” Hands braced on his hips, he faced the door. Couldn’t look or her disgust, fear, disappointment, would haunt him the rest of his life. “I never want to hurt you, Lita. No one should ever hurt you.”
“Don’t you dare leave now,” she sobbed behind him. “Don’t you dare.”
He almost laughed, but it would have ruptured the organs left functioning inside him. The girl was too fearless for her own good. Did she think she could talk him through this and fix him? Yes, she likely did. Likely thought he just needed a mental ass kicking to pull his shit together. And then…God, she would forgive him for what he’d just done—holding her down and acting out his darkest fantasy. No way he’d ever be able to live with her apology, the added self-hatred that would follow. “I know it’s hard to believe a word I say after what I just did. But until this morning, everything I’ve ever done was in your best interest. Please believe that. You’re going to be better—safer—without me.”
“No. Don’t—”
“Good-bye, Lita.
Feeling as though he’d been submerged in water, James staggered from the hotel room, sweat breaking out along his forehead and upper lip. It hurt leaving her, hurt to increase the distance. Every. Step. Hurt. Felt wrong. Knowing Lita would follow him, James skipped the elevator and took the stairwell. His phone began buzzing before he’d even left the hotel. Knowing it was Lita and he couldn’t answer, James nonetheless pulled out his phone just to see her name on the screen. But it wasn’t Lita at all, the actual identity of the caller slowing his step. After a slight hesitation, he answered.
“Mother.”
Chapter Three
Four years earlier
Lita stared at the stranger across the fancy, gleaming hotel table.