“I’m fine.”
He gave a single nod and left her in the doorway to unlock the passenger side door. Lita had no choice but to climb inside and engage her seatbelt, as if in a daydream. One from which she desperately needed to wake up. Granted, she hadn’t known exactly how James would break—what it would look like—but gut instinct told her this reaction wasn’t what she’d been after. She’d wanted James so angry that he’d have no choice but to stop hiding. Stop pretending they weren’t denying themselves something vital. Something they both needed.
The hotel she’d been living in since their international tour ended was a fifteen-minute drive from the jail. Silence filled the car, growing denser by the mile until a scream clawed at Lita’s throat. “James—”
“You could have been killed.”
Finally, a reaction. Disapproval. Lita soaked it in like a sponge, sounding breathless when she said, “I’ve never seen you this mad.” Was this the breaking point? Please, please let this be it.
“I don’t know what mad is supposed to feel like anymore.” His deep voice reached out and smothered her from across the car. “Admit why you did it.”
“What do you mean?”
They pulled to a stop at a red light. “You stole a police car last night.” His eyes closed, then opened to reveal more nothing. Nothing. Just emptiness. “You could have gotten in an accident. Or been shot by the responding officers. And I want to hear you admit why you did it. No more games, Lita.”
“I’m not the only one playing games,” she whispered.
James was silent for too long. “So you admit it. This is my fault.”
“Yes.” Hearing herself confess to such recklessness out loud brought home the reality of what she’d done, forcing redness to spread up from her neck. “I don’t know how else to get through to you.” Lita’s voice vibrated, her mind scrambling for the right words to make him understand. “This is what it takes just to get a crumb of what I need. The rest of the time you’re a statue just watching and watching and watching me. At least when you’re angry, I can feel a tiny part of what I felt that night.”
Gray eyes grew even more shuttered, and his hands flexed on the steering wheel at the forbidden mention of the night they’d met. They pulled into the valet driveway outside her hotel, but James held up a finger to the attendant who stood outside the driver’s side window. “I can’t give you what you need, Lita.” His hand paused on the door handle, his voice grave as she’d ever heard it. “And I will not stay around knowing I’m the reason you continually put yourself at risk.”
Lita’s reality slowed down, every tick of the imaginary clock sounding like a gong in her ears. Denial expanded, pushing to the furthest edges of her insides, leaving no room for air. “What d-does that mean?”
James stared straight forward as he delivered words that stalled her heart mid-beat. “I’ve found my replacement. One week from today, I’ll no longer be managing Old News.”
Chapter Two
James couldn’t even look at Lita. Not without feeling as though his stomach were being extracted through his throat. The jail-issued plastic bag containing her possessions was clutched in his right hand as they walked down the carpeted hallway of her hotel. On the way through the revolving glass doors, he’d caught sight of her reflection and knew it would be imprinted on the back of his eyelids for life.
Abandoned. She’d looked abandoned.
James drew a long, deep breath that did nothing to ease or fortify him. It had to be this way. This dysfunctional game between the two of them had gone on too long. He’d found a way to justify it, found a way to stay close by any means necessary, until last night. By simply being in her presence, he put her life at risk. Considering his life’s dedication had become the exact opposite four years ago, James had no choice but to get a safe distance away. He hadn’t fooled himself into thinking he could give her up completely, but his role in Lita’s life now would have to be…peripheral. Much as it would kill him.
Even now, his decision-making remained shoddy, as had been the case since their first meeting. With good-bye on the line, the least wise place James could be was inside Lita’s hotel room. Amidst her smell, her clothes…her. Always her.