Rocked Up

“So your father doesn’t have to know.”

“There are snitches everywhere,” I tell her, lowering my voice as if my hotel room is bugged. “Besides Arnie just caught us.”

“Aren’t you kinda friendly with Arnie? You had told me before you left he was the only one really on your side of things.”

“Yeah. I don’t think he’ll say anything but this industry, man, you never know where allegiances lie. Everyone is either lying or blowing smoke up your ass and everyone is trying to get the last dollar out of you. I don’t trust a single soul here. Not Arnie, definitely not the other guys in the band. Brad is the only guy I trust.”

“Are the other guys treating you fairly?”

“I don’t know,” I tell her. “I guess. I can tell they don’t like me though. It’s just subtle things. Switch is okay, though he seems to have small-man complex, as I guess all drummers do. Calvi definitely isn’t my fan. He’s always glaring at me.”

“Is that the Italian dude? He looks like he’s glaring on every album cover I’ve seen.”

“Nah, it’s more than that. He’s judging me. He thinks I’m not cut out for it.”

“Well you know it’s bullshit. Take it from Christy here, you fucking wail on that bass. If anything those dudes are just jealous because you’re a young woman and you’re holding your own with them. No, not even holding your own, you’re blowing them out of the water.”

“Right. Well I guess that reminds me that I should probably tone it down a bit.”

“Fuck that. Don’t tone it down. Why, cuz you play bass? So what? Who says that bassists have to keep their head down? Don’t sell yourself short, that’s not like you. Think of what Brad would say if he heard you speak that way.”

I find myself smiling dreamily. “He would say I’m being silly. Oh man. What am I even doing, Christy?”

“With what?”

“I don’t know. I like him. I really do.”

“Everyone knows that.” She laughs softly.

“No, I mean…I think I might be falling for him.”

“Everyone knows that too.”

“In a real way.”

“Well that happens. It’s either you find out that your idol isn’t the man you thought they were or they turn out to be exactly what you thought.”

“Or better. Brad is better than I thought. He’s caring, you know. He’s so quiet and yet when he’s with me, his attention is only on me. It’s like he never has to say a word for me to know what he’s feeling. And he’s like…he just wants what’s best for the band. He doesn’t drink much, doesn’t do drugs, he believes in the music and being the best version of his best self. I don’t know, I guess before I knew him, I figured with his tragic upbringing, that he would be a bit of a downer and secretly doing drugs or some shit like that. It would make sense. But he’s not like that at all. He’s just…”

“Perfect?”

“Perfectly imperfect. And every moment we have, we end up spending it together. Like gravity is pulling us into each other’s orbit and there’s no choice but to either collide or keep rotating around each other.”

“That’s some deep shit, Lael,” she says dryly.

“I know.” I run my hand over my face. “It’s late too. I should let you go.”

“So tell me what you’re going to do? Just pretend that the kiss never happened?”

“No. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. It’s seared in my brain, in my soul. His kiss branded me as his. For now. Forever. Who knows.” I hear her laugh because I’m being so dramatic. “But I can’t just move on from that. And I don’t want to.”

“So go back in his room and continue where you left off. Go get some hot rock star ass.”

I chuckle. “I think he’s probably sleeping by now. We had a long crazy day. At one point he was running around with two rattlesnakes in his hand. Man, it was the scariest, funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

“Dude. Rock stars really do know how to party.”

“Then we stole a souped-up dune buggy and took it into town. The police ended up towing it away, luckily they didn’t know it belonged to us. Well, technically it belonged to this crazy Viking guy call Roar.”

“See, this is what I’m talking about. This is the part where I get to live vicariously through you.” She pauses. “Just promise me one thing before you go, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Next time you get an opportunity to be alone with him? To kiss him? You take that damn opportunity, you hear? You use it. You do the crazy shit you’ve always wanted to do. Be brave and bold and jump his bones.”

I burst into giggles. “I’ll see.”

“No, I’m telling you. Doesn’t mean you have to broadcast it to the world, but this is a dream come true for you and very few people are lucky enough to have this happen. You need to exploit it. Make it worth your while. These are the memories that you’ll reflect on one day and tell your children.”

“I’m going to tell my future children about the time I screwed a rock star?”

“I dunno,” she says with a tired shrug. “Maybe that rock star ends up being your future husband. Just gotta play your cards right. Seize this all by the horns.”

“I’ll seize it by something,” I mutter under my breath. “Okay I better go. I’m starting to fade.”

“Me too. Please text me when you’ve gotten somewhere.”

“Will do, miss nosy.”

“Hey. You called me.”

“And I’m glad I did.”

I hang up and slide the phone over onto the nightstand. I’m too damn tired now to wash up and get undressed.

I lie back and stare up at the ceiling for a few moments, going over what Christy said about Brad being my husband one day. It was a totally glib remark, meant to be a joke, but it has me wondering – if what I’m feeling for Brad is true, then what really is next? And where can it go?

There’s no doubt that it could stall and go nowhere, even if I do end up grabbing the situation by the horns, so to speak.

But what if it doesn’t?

What if there’s so much more to this, to us?

What if…

My eyes close.

I fall asleep.





Chapter Eleven





Brad




“Your old pal is on the bill tonight,” Arnie says with a taunting smile.

“My old pal?” I question.

“Jean Maaaaaaarc,” Arnie says in a long, drawn-out French accent.

The whole crew begins to laugh at Arnie’s little performance. When he sees I don’t find it as funny as everyone else, he pats me on the back.

“I’m just having fun with ya,” Arnie says with a chuckle, drinking what’s left of his morning Bloody Mary.